The Circular Argument For Barring Bagels

After Dr. Atkins vilified carbs, bagels have had to defend their right to satisfy appetites. Most recently, the Journalism School at Western Kentucky University denounced the arrival of this circular starch. In late November, the school started serving Einstein Brothers Bagels products and announced the opening of a full store in March at the campus' Mass Media and Technology School.

Despite Einstein Brothers' current popularity, several campus officials propose a bagel shop boycott. As an NYU Journalism student who debuted in the department's pristine new building at 20 Cooper Square, I understand what typically terrifies administrative officials high on the fumes of wet paint: trash. The stringent rule prohibiting drinks and snacks has relaxed since September, yet the new complaint among NYU Journalism students: where to go when you need a fix?

Drugs and alcohol have inspired countless journalists (Hunter S. Thompson and Ernest Hemingway immediately come to mind), but the health-conscious eco-friendly 21st century encourages professional prohibition. Caffeine, the last legal drug, is now the beloved stimulant to keep brain synapses firing and fingers typing. Without it, the expensive equipment so proudly paraded in newsrooms rest idle. For the Western students, Einstein Brothers not only offers coffee, but "darn good coffee." (I only wish NYU Journalism students were so lucky.)

Bagels and journalism are compatible. What other food rests as comfortably in a mouth while both hands assault the keyboard? Not only do journalists enjoy writing about quests for the perfect bagel or taking their turn behind the bagel broiler, one journalist used the standard breakfast of bagel and lox as a metaphor for the diminishing ratio of information to junk on the Internet.

Nevertheless, for Pam Johnson, Director of the School of Journalism, the bagel shop not only produces litter and spills, but prevents "traditions," her populist euphemism for fundraising alumni events. While beaten biscuits or grits might seem like a more appropriate Southern breakfast, let's not reject this baked bread's history. As bewildering as an everything bagel, the origins of the word itself either comes from Yiddish "beygl," or from the Middle High German word "bugel," meaning "ring."

For the almost thirteen percent of Kentuckians who claim German ancestry, a bagel is throwback to the motherland. The round roll might not become the next culinary mascot for the Western Kentucky Big Reds (perhaps they'd prefer a gum endorsement?), but Bowling Green--population 53,000--already boasts three bagel restaurants: Bread and Bagel, Bagel and Bites, and the national chain, Panera Bread Company. Val Gotcher, a three-year veteran employee at Bagel and Bites and Western Kentucky student, said she doesn't understand the uproar surrounding the fancied bagel invasion. Noting the lack of food choices on that side of campus she said, "I think it was a good idea to have an eatery there."

According to an online poll, fifty-seven percent of students side with Ms. Gother, voting "I love bagels, so I can hardly wait." Only ten percent griped, "I think it's awful--all the food should be in one place." For Ms. Johnson, and that small percentile that see the bagel as half hole, the new shop will be boycotted. However, their self-imposed embargo won't prevent most Western Kentucky students from riding the roller coaster of coffee adrenalin highs and carb-crash hangovers courtesy of the Einstein Brothers.

Comments

[strifeknot]

Atkins was a quack. Are there people still following his fad diet?

[Marylaure]

A bagel shop boycott? Please tell me this is a joke. Please.

[Hilltopper]

The building where this is located contains hundreds of thousands of dollars of computers and peripherals. There is a computer lab 20 feet from the store that has over 100 computers in it and a strict no food or drinks policy. There are at least 10 computer classrooms in the building as well, all of which prevent food and drinks. Concern over this restaurant's location is reasonable.

[Hilltopper]

Your fact-checker must have taken the day off when this article was edited. Western Kentucky University would be the Hilltoppers, not the "Big Reds." Our athletic mascot is Big Red, only one of the most recognizable university mascots in the country. The Einstein Brothers Bagels location is in the Mass Media and Technology HALL (not school). This BUILDING houses both the School of Journalism and Broadcasting (one of the premier journalism programs in the country) and the Information Technology Division. If the basics are off that much, I shudder to think about the rest of this article.

[Nommo]

Bagels were the breakfast staple of my high school years (anyone remember the bagel shop on Jerome Ave 1/2 up from Moshulu Pk'way station?) so I can only hope that their bagels are on a par with a classic NY bagel.

Enjoy, Ky, bagels are neater than biscuits!

[Dianora]

Life without bagels is not worth living. The end.