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Lucas Kavner

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Who Is Paul McCartney?

Posted: 02/14/2012 11:32 am

After the Grammy Awards, countless Twitter users were stumped at the sight of an older British gentleman singing a song and playing music with a band, prompting them to ask the age old question: "Who is Paul McCartney?"

This is a helpful list of Paul McCartney's many accomplishments over the years.


Who is Paul McCartney?

Paul McCartney is a member of the Beatles, the biggest rock band in history.

Paul McCartney is the fourth president of the United States.

In the early 20th century, Paul McCartney created jazz in his backyard.

Christopher Columbus once said of Paul McCartney, "Hey, there's a good guy," and then set sail for the West Indies.

Paul McCartney threw an apple in the air and watched it fall to the ground and realized it was because of gravity.

Thanks to Paul McCartney's vaccines, Polio is far less of a problem than it once was.

In Martin Scorsese's film, The Shining, Paul McCartney plays a mob leader who makes Robert De Niro an offer he couldn't refuse.

Vermont would not have been admitted into the Union if it weren't for Paul McCartney's helpful pamphlets.

Paul McCartney stole home plate in the 1982 World Series, pushing the Detroit Tigers to victory over the New Orleans Saints.

"Now is the winter of our Paul McCartney." - William Shakespeare, from his hit play, 10 Things I Hate About You.

If you need to get gum out of your hair, soak it in Paul McCartney, then wait six hours in the sun. It'll wash right out.

Paul McCartney's historic speech, "The Emancipation Rock Song," ended the Mexican-American War.

Paul McCartney's late night talk show, Tonight with Paul McCartney, paved the way for Jewish comedians on television.

In 1942, Albert Einstein made famous the classic equation: 6 Paul McCartneys - 3 Paul McCartney's = 3 Paul McCartneys

Paul McCartney invented bifocals.

Paul McCartney added Sodium to the Periodic Table of Elements. Before sodium was there, it was just a blank space.

In his hit book, Oliver Twist, Paul McCartney details the plight of British orphans who sing songs like, "Hard Knock Life," and "Music of the Night."

The Suez Canal was named after Paul McCartney's daughter, Suez.

Paul McCartney is the Muppet who wears the top hat and holds the cane.

The French Revolution began when Paul McCartney did not want to eat cake at his friend Ringo Starr's birthday party.

Paul McCartney penned "The New Deal," which set things straight between him and Mick Jagger during the Great Depression.

Preventing the spread of Communism, Paul McCartney rode his horse through the colonies, proclaiming: "The Reds are coming! The Reds are coming!"

It was Paul McCartney's idea to put spikes on top of helmets during World War I, a fashion design trend he sparked during his season on Project Runway.

Paul McCartney is the fourth star in the "Milky Way" constellation, right next to Mars and diagonal from the sun.

In The Hunger Games, Paul McCartney fights the evil vampire President Snow and his collection of wizard children.

Paul McCartney painted "The Mona Lisa," an expressionist sculpture of a bunch of water lilies playing poker in the moonlight.

The speed of sound was broken by Paul McCartney in 1623, during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

"We Are All Paul McCartney," said Barack Obama, who is still stuck in the well.

 

Follow Lucas Kavner on Twitter: www.twitter.com/lucaskavner

After the Grammy Awards, countless Twitter users were stumped at the sight of an older British gentleman singing a song and playing music with a band, prompting them to ask the age old question: "Who ...
After the Grammy Awards, countless Twitter users were stumped at the sight of an older British gentleman singing a song and playing music with a band, prompting them to ask the age old question: "Who ...
 
 
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12:33 PM on 02/15/2012
The most amusing thing about twitter users asking these questions is that there at their hands are devices that can give them information supposedly immediately. Yet they ask inane questions.
12:00 PM on 02/15/2012
Paul should apologize for all the bad music he has put out over the last 25 years.
12:45 AM on 02/19/2012
I doubt you've actually listened to any of it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
larrykat
Let's make a toast to future ghosts.
10:38 PM on 02/14/2012
If this was supposed to be clever or funny it really missed badly. Painful.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lemeritus
Been there, done that, lived to tell
10:07 PM on 02/14/2012
Reminds me of a few graduate students (business school) who believe the Berlin Wall is in China.
09:49 PM on 02/14/2012
Good article. Sadly, I suspect Beiber Fever has surpassed Beatlemania, Revolver is simply a gun, Rubber Soul is a new line of shoes, and Sgt. Peppers a new soft drink. They're always so cute when when they're puppies...
11:35 PM on 02/14/2012
Surpassed Beatlemania?!?! Justin Beiber has no hits and is not played on the radio...Nor will anybody remember him in 20 years musically...child stars always die down soon enough
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Just My Thoughts 2011
Life is but a walking shadow
08:48 PM on 02/14/2012
George was always my favorite.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jtwalk45
08:20 PM on 02/14/2012
only the best song writer and composer in rock history
Paul was in New York for all the 911 first responders and gave his all for them
who are you that you don't know
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blaze
Nice day for somethin'
07:14 PM on 02/14/2012
Paul was out at the plate.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
americancolonyinhell
06:10 PM on 02/14/2012
Good question since the real Paul died way back in 1968.
03:22 PM on 02/14/2012
This is kind of a waste of time. Sorry I clicked on it.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
4 EYES
Just when you think you've seen it all....
03:55 PM on 02/14/2012
Yeah, me, too....8-)
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booker52
avid reader
03:17 PM on 02/14/2012
I was lucky enough to see the Beatles perform in concert at the Hollywood Bowl back in the 60's. Me and a friend were only 13 yrs old and her Mom had to drive us and she attended as well. A night to remember.
07:11 PM on 02/14/2012
That's great! (I have every Hollywood Bowl show on bootleg!).

My Dad saw them at Forest Hills, him and his buddy hijacked his father's car. He said he paid five bucks. My Dad is a great musician but I noticed he'd never go to see anyone live. When I asked him about it, he said, "Son, I saw The Beatles for five bucks....what's going to better than that?"
02:47 PM on 02/14/2012
Everyone lives in there own little bubble these days. You would think with all the technology there would be MORE information flowing around so the ignorance is inexcusable.
02:25 PM on 02/14/2012
I wish I could get paid to write stupid, pointless lists like this. The average everyday-joe commenter can be more clever and amusing than any HP writer.
03:46 PM on 02/15/2012
So then why don't you do it, everyday-joe commenter!!!
02:20 PM on 02/14/2012
Uhm. Stanley Kubrick directed The Shining, not Martin Scorsese. The Shining starred Jack Nicholson, Shelly Duvall and a few others. There was no mob, and no offer that couldn't be refused. There was however, a pair of creepy twins, a dead woman, a few other ghosts, and a crazy man with an axe. Please, get your movie references right, if you're going to use a movie reference.
03:31 PM on 02/14/2012
I think it was meant as some form of humor aimed at the fact that kids don't know who Paul McCartney is based on the absurd tweets about who he is. I found it severely lacking in funny, but I get his point.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
jl4141
Unless I'm wrong, I'm never wrong.
06:33 PM on 02/14/2012
Biggest, most giant "whoosh" I've seen on the Internetz in a looooong time there! Whooosh!!!
02:16 PM on 02/14/2012
Uhm. The Shining was directed by Stanley Kubrick, and starred Jack Nicholson. There was no mob, no offer that couldn't be refused. I believe the author was thinking of another movie.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lemeritus
Been there, done that, lived to tell
10:08 PM on 02/14/2012
:-(