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Maggie Lamond Simone
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Maggie Lamond Simone is a national award-winning columnist and author. Her humor and observational essays have appeared since 2002 in Family Times, an award-winning monthly parenting magazine in Central New York, and since 2000 in The Advertiser, a weekly newspaper in East Aurora, NY. Her columns also appeared in the Sunday edition of the Syracuse Herald American (cir. 250,000) from 1995 through 2001.

Her latest e-book, POSTED: Parenting, Pets and Menopause, One Status Update At a Time, is available for both Kindle and Nook.

Her essays are included in From Beer to Maternity (November 2009), an anthology, as well as P.S. What I Didn’t Say (2009), Chicken Soup for the Soul: My Resolution (2008), Chicken Soup for the New Mom’s Soul (2007), Chicken Soup for the Soul in Menopause (2007), Misadventures of Moms and Disasters of Dads (2004), Hello, Goodbye (2004), Cosmopolitan magazine, and a forthcoming issues of Notebook: Magazine (Australia). Ms. Simone’s first children’s picture book, SOPHIE’S SOUNDS (Journey Stone Creations), was released in May 2007 (ISBN #1-59958-057-8). She’s won multiple national awards through Parenting Publications of America, including the 2008 and 2007 Gold Award for Humor and the 2007 Gold Award for Personal Essay.

She has been a monthly guest on WNTQ-Syracuse (93Q) since 2005, and she has also been a guest on NPR. In promoting From Beer to Maternity, she has been featured on the ABC, Fox and PBS affiliates nationwide, as well as numerous radio programs in the United States, Canada and the UK. She teaches Journalism at SUNY Oswego, N.Y., and is also an adjunct instructor of English at Bryant & Stratton College, Clay, N.Y.

She earned a Bachelor’s Degree in 1983 from Hobart and William Smith Colleges, Geneva, NY, and a Master’s Degree in 1992 from S.I. Newhouse School of Communications, Syracuse University, Syracuse, NY. She lives in Central New York with her husband and two children. You can email Maggie here .

Entries by Maggie Lamond Simone

With Our Children, the Past Gets Fuzzy So the Present Can Stay Clear

(0) Comments | Posted January 9, 2014 | 1:09 PM

Every time I see a baby these days, I can't help thinking of my own.

They both have their father's gorgeous blue eyes and my light, light skin. The boy, our firstborn, is serious, calm, thoughtful and fully engaged, analyzing everything he sees. The girl, our youngest, is high-energy, excitable...

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This Is Your Brain on Menopause

(1) Comments | Posted June 20, 2013 | 3:51 PM

"So what's it like going through menopause while your kids are going through puberty?" asked a younger friend.

I pondered this for a moment. "Well, I thought that being an older first-time mom would be rough when the kids got to this age," I said. "Because between menopause and puberty,...

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Teens, You're Not as Alone as You Think

(0) Comments | Posted May 28, 2013 | 4:04 PM

Dear Kids:

I know this may come as a shock to you, but I was once a teenager.

Don't roll your eyes. I was. And I survived. It was a time of profound and sustained unhappiness for me, although I never truly understood why. As I watch you grow...

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Why I Want to Become My Mother

(18) Comments | Posted May 8, 2013 | 9:24 AM

"Look at you -- you're just like your mother."

Weren't those dreaded words at one point in my life? Didn't I work all these years to not be like her, to identify her faults and weaknesses and to do everything humanly possible to avoid them?

I read a comic strip...

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Valentine to a Gay Brother

(1) Comments | Posted February 5, 2013 | 10:01 AM

All you need is love. That song's been in my head lately as we hit February, the season of valentines -- either the most-loved or most-hated month of the year, depending how you feel about love at the moment. I've decided to embrace February and its associations this year, because...

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Thankful for it All -- Including Alcoholism and Depression

(0) Comments | Posted November 19, 2012 | 6:04 PM

This has long been my favorite time of year -- changing seasons, sweater weather and Thanksgiving. I've always tried to teach my children to be grateful for the good in their lives, and while we try to appreciate it every day, Thanksgiving is the one time of year when we...

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Living Longer, 'Midlife Crisis' Can Become 'Midlife Opportunity'

(9) Comments | Posted September 14, 2012 | 9:23 AM

"What do you want to do with your life?" It's a question I ask my college students this time of year to help them define their goals, and I'm beginning to realize the silliness of the question. It's almost like asking people casually at the grocery store what they did...

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Gay Controversy Is Not About the Food

(11) Comments | Posted August 6, 2012 | 2:50 PM

This is not about chicken. And it's not about cake. It's not about free speech, and it's not about the Bible. This is about fear, and prejudice, and bigotry. This is about basic human decency.

Back in the early 1900s, women were discriminated against. We couldn't...

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For Father's Day, the Gift of Attention - Finally

(3) Comments | Posted June 17, 2012 | 10:00 AM

We were rocking in the porch swing last time I was visited my parents, doing what came naturally to a defiant, grown up daughter and her world-weary father: I was talking, and he was listening. It was a far cry from the days of old, when he was the storyteller...

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Becoming Our Parents, or 'Nice to Meet You! I'm My Mother!'

(0) Comments | Posted April 20, 2012 | 3:02 PM

While lamenting her daughter's latest eye-roll over something or other, a friend said, "The problem is, I remember this. I remember having this attitude and talking back to my mom, and I remember what my mom used to say. I can't quite reconcile that I'm now the mom saying the...

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Parents, Kids and OCD

(2) Comments | Posted April 4, 2012 | 6:20 PM

In a recent episode of Glee, Will asked Emma's parents for her hand in marriage. Emma struggles with OCD, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Fearing germs and contamination, her quirks include washing fruit for a certain amount of time and wearing plastic gloves when handling food. Her parents...

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Resolving to Be a Great -- Well, Better -- Mother

(1) Comments | Posted December 30, 2011 | 1:38 PM

I am not one for resolutions.

Oh, I used to be, of course. I have vivid recollections of writing out elaborate New Year's resolutions every year, complete with drawings and/or charts. I would use the season as an opportunity to take stock of where I am, where I've been, and...

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A Menopausal Mom's Christmas List

(7) Comments | Posted December 19, 2011 | 1:57 PM

Dear Santa,

It's that time of year again already, huh? Time sure flies when you're having... well, menopause, spelling bees, and student council meetings. You'll have to take my word on all counts, I'm guessing, but trust me. The times -- and the moms -- they are a'changin'. Heck, I...

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Merry Birthday! Is Your Birthday During the Holidays?

(97) Comments | Posted November 28, 2011 | 1:26 PM

"Aside from the fact that we'll get more presents this year, I really can't see any benefit to having a Christmas baby," my pregnant-and-due-any-day friend said. "He's going to be cheated out of attention that's rightfully his. He's competing with God, for Pete's sake! This kid is going to be...

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Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

(3) Comments | Posted November 16, 2011 | 8:55 AM

My youngest brother recently announced his engagement, and asked if I had any advice for him, since my husband and I recently celebrated our double-digits anniversary.

I thought for a moment and said, "Yes. Keep dating."

There was a pause over the phone, and then he said, "Really? Are you...

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Some Traditions Should Be Changed

(0) Comments | Posted November 9, 2011 | 3:31 PM

The holidays are upon us once again, the season of family, of gatherings, of traditions. The season, in most people's lives, of hope.

Our tradition at Thanksgiving had been for many years to head to a lodge in the country with my mother's family; aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews...

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Avoiding Holiday Weight Gain The Smart Way: Rationalization

(5) Comments | Posted November 8, 2011 | 11:41 AM

The holiday season is upon us once again -- Halloween just past, Thanksgiving and the December holidays looming -- and already the queries have begun. It's like clockwork.

"Maggie," they ask, "what are those calorie rules you've suggested through the years that we don't quite believe but hold onto...

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Is My Friend Ship Sailing?

(4) Comments | Posted October 27, 2011 | 2:22 PM

Women have always kind of scared me. Not like mice scare me, really, but in a more "I am completely inadequate and therefore unworthy of your friendship" way. I've been like this since I was a child, and whatever the reason, it must be addressed; I recently read that by...

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Loving the Challenging Child

(52) Comments | Posted October 19, 2011 | 10:54 AM

If you've ever taken a dog for training, one thing becomes immediately clear. The classes aren't for training the dog -- they're for training you. You need to understand the way a dog thinks before you can begin to understand how to peacefully coexist with him. The goal isn't to...

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October Is WHAT Month?!

(1) Comments | Posted October 2, 2011 | 9:35 PM

I'm here to report that we're lifting the lid on "Toilet Repair Month." I know, I know, I'm sort of down in the dumps about it too; just when you think you could overflow with excitement about summer, there it goes, swirling away. May it rust -- er, rest --...

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