Michael Jackson's Family to Adopt Larry King, Sources Say
Due to high ratings generated by the appearance on CNN's Larry King Show of Michael Jackson's brothers, Michael Jackson's sisters, Michael Jackson's father, Michael Jackson's ex-wife's ex-lawyer, Michael Jackson's ex-doctors, Michael Jackson's bodyguards, Michael Jackson's own ex-lawyers, Michael Jackson's good friends, and the late Michael Jackson himself, the Jackson family has begun formal adoption proceedings of talk show host, Larry King, anonymous sources say.
"We love him so very much, so so very much, and we know that Michael would have approved of Larry as his brother," said LaToya Jackson.
The adoption application names Katherine Jackson as Step Grandmother Emeritus to Mr. King, though said application fails to name King as legal heir to the Beatles catalog. This ruling will be appealed at a later date, shrieked Gloria Allred, attorney for Mr. King.. Mrs. Jackson's lawyer, not to be confused with the court-appointed lawyer, aka guardian ad litem, for Michael Jackson's children (except for Blanket Jackson, who is represented by Bed, Bath & Beyond, Esqs.), is preparing an Adoption Appeal, should their application be rejected due to Mr. King's age being greater than Mrs. Jackson's.
"It's a distinct honor to be wanted like this," said the usually self-effacing Mr. King in an interview with an unnamed reporter, "This is the greatest thrill of my entire life, except for that time Marlon Brando kissed me."
Joe Jackson, ex-husband of Katherine Jackson and ex-father of Michael Jackson said in a interview with an unnamed Las Vegas citizen journo-blogger, "She never should've divorced me. She should have listened to the Reverend Al Sharpton and let me manage the money. If she adopts Larry King, how'm I gonna get him into proper shape for a reconstituted Jackson Five reunion? He can't sing worth a nickel! And he's too old to whup."
Katherine Jackson's attorneys issued a statement that, beloved though he may be by the Jackson family, when being interviewed by the media, Mr. King is not to refer to Mrs. Katherine Jackson as Mommy.
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wow..that was hillarious....you are one great writer...
See Rick Horowitz's Profile
And "they" say an opening paragraph has to be really short -- what do "they" know?
Another laugh-out-loud hit, Maggie! Thanks!
Great piece, Maggie!
too funny.. he & Joe could be bros..
I've received emails that people have posted comments, but their comments don't appear.
They haven't written anything that could possibly be censored.
What's happening over there at HuffPo.
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