For those of us who participate in social media, "meeting" someone via Twitter, Facebook or any other online platform can be confusing. Of course, you can't actually claim to really know someone through a social media site; however rightly or wrongly, we all create some sort of expectation. Often, there's an inevitable honeymoon period. You know, lots of chatter, becoming more intimate over a short period of time. Then something happens, and one of you decides, for who knows what reason, that "That's enough," and almost as quickly as you've been befriended or followed, you are no longer friends or followed.
Sometimes, before a falling out, we decide to actually meet or speak to that person, and when we do, we often think, "You're not the person I thought you were going to be." And that's the end of another friendship. One of the reasons that this happens is because online communication cannot replicate in-person communication. You cannot ascertain aspects of someone's personality via their facial expressions, eye contact and their body language online. Also, you have the advantage of that all-important gut feeling, something you feel when you actually meet someone in person for the first time. It's less easy for us to reliably tap into our intuition about an individual via e-mail or on a social networking site. That's because until you meet a person face to face, in a way, they wear a kind of mask. We all do. And for us to feel comfortable dropping our masks, it's going to take a lot more than an online friendship.
Knowing who we are, and being able to communicate that online or in the real world, is imperative for the reputation of our personal brand. So even if online communications seem to encourage, or make allowances for, the sort of behaviors we wouldn't dream of displaying in the real world, that doesn't make them acceptable. Whatever underpins your real-world personal brand needs to be mirrored by your online personal brand. However, there is a caveat, which is that on both counts your manners are impeccable, your communication style is consistently thoughtful and that you are authentic. Some may say, "My style is edgy and I like it like that," or, "I don't really care how others perceive me, I'm just me." Okay, I get that. However, the world we currently occupy warms to those who convey kindness, gratitude and thoughtfulness. These are the watch words for those who would like their personal brand to have a good reputation and a following.
As long as you're the same person in real life as you are online, your personal brand is likely to soar. If we have one version of ourselves for our online brand and another for our in-person brand, it's akin to having a dual personality; it confuses others, and in a very real way it confuses us. Here are eight tips that will enable you to convey an authentic personal brand regardless of the medium:
Follow Malcolm Levene on Twitter: www.twitter.com/malcolmlevene
For Some, Online Persona Undermines a Résumé - New York Times
Online identity - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The Social Network (2010) - IMDb
List of social networking websites - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Here's the thing: some of my most cherished REAL friendships were born from comments left on my blog. In a way - over time - our real voices come thru. It's like with TV presenters: an actor can hide their true nature behind good screenwriting, but presenters' personalities come out. Over time.
I'm constantly amazed to finally meet the real person and discover they're even better than I expected they'd be.
I find that the most popular people, in any arena (Obama, for example) are the ones who aren't trying to present any image, or particularly care about being 'liked'. They're just, DUH.. being themselves.
Many thanks for the comment. That is so kind of you.
I'm pleased you enjoyed the piece. It's so nice to 'meet' people like you online.
I kind of of like being liked, almost as much as like being repspected. And I agree, those who come across as the 'real deal', never seem to be doing it to be liked, or to be popular. I think Oscar Wilde said it all when he said, " Be yourself, everyone else is taken."
I always appreciate your comments. I love the photo. I have but one question of you. Would you show up to a business meeting ass naked and a tie around your neck? Absolutely not! The idea is creative but would only allow you to gain unwanted attention to all but your proposal. As it stands we all have our private lives where we fight, bicker, argue, and allow the full reign of our emotions to spill out in private. Who I am in the bedroom vs. the boardroom would be a better title to this excerpt as it pertains to me. I am in good health and I want you to know that I am thinking of you and thinking of forging some new business alliances I have you in mind. I have some great proposals for 2011 and I would like you to stay in contact with me. I am looking to relocate and I have some pretty good solutions for some serious problems and I need to develop my own team in 2011. If you are game let me know.
How was that?
Doris
I think people must be aware of their audience when they are sharing their thoughts online. If you are posting something on your Facebook page intending on your friends to see it, you can take a more casual approach when monitoring the content (though you never know who may be watching). But as far as "being who you really are" I believe that will always manifest itself when someone presents something online in a public setting. What else can you draw from, that you don't already possess? Again, i think it is very important to present yourself in a respectable manner at all times, wherever you may be, but by simply presenting yourself, you are already showing people who you are, unless you are actively attempting to deceive people that you do not already know.
Thank you for your comments.
As you say, 'simply presenting yourself in respectable manner at all times', is pretty much it. One you do/have done that, you are being the 'best' of who you are. Therefore, theres little or no need for any deception.
Best,
Malcolm
Whilst it is easier than ever to communicate, it is perhaps harder than ever to communicate who you really are. In addition to these excellent brand tips, you need to be very aware that a different competency set is required to build effective virtual relationships. 97% of communication is with visual cues, and we need to understand and build our strength with the remaining 3%!
Planning is particularly important. The old adage, "you never get a second chance to make a first impression" is infinitely more relevant in the online environment.
The 97% 3% research is always a moot point in the corporate arena. However, I think it's important to understand the very real value of the all-important 'visual cues'.
And maybe, that's the rub. We are often so used to hiding parts of ourselves that we deem unacceptable, that sometimes we don't even know exactly who we are. If you do have the courage to present your true self to the world though, you can't fail to translate that successfully online.
I'm in the process of getting branding for my business and know that in order for this to be truly successful, it needs to reflect the real me. As Malcolm says above, 'Be the person you would like to meet.'
Thanks for your comments. I agree with you about, 'hiding parts of ourselves we deem unacceptable.' Fact is, until we learn to accept ourelves as we are, others will keep guessing... and probably get it wrong.
Good luck with branding your business.