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Marc Gopin

Marc Gopin

Posted: October 8, 2010 07:40 AM

It was three days before Rosh Hashanah, and I was predictably anxious about my identity, my life, about my family's Jewish future. As a good and fractious Jew, I was somewhat ambivalent about which synagogue I would go to: The one I sometimes go to? The one I would never step foot in? The one that I really should create on my own, maybe?

This Rosh Hashanah was different for two reasons. My 87-year old mother, who lives alone 400 miles away in Boston, had pneumonia. So we were on our way to Boston, but I had to honor a commitment to my dear friend Yahya Hendi, who is an imam. He wanted the whole family, the whole world, it seems, but especially Jews and Christians, for an iftar, a very sacred celebration as a part of Ramadan. He wanted us all to share in every aspect of the evening, and so made his backyard into a center of prayer and his house into a feast.

My son Isaac is so attached to baseball that he brings his glove and ball everywhere, just in case: you never know when you might meet another seven-year-old in search of round objects to bat, pound, throw and kick. Sure enough, Imam Hendi's young son was outside pounding a soccer ball, furiously, back and forth, by himself! Ah, a delicious sight for my son, all the right signals of a fellow juvenile madman in motion, a mark of the truly committed, those who play even by themselves!

So Isaac lunged toward the boy, but what is this? A soccer ball?! Where is the baseball? And so I witnessed a moment of cultural crisis, that great Atlantic Ocean divide between the obsession with soccer and the obsession with baseball. Not to worry, I turned away for just a few minutes, and they were tossing the baseball. Peace on earth, goodwill toward mankind, Arab/Jewish conflict resolved, game, set, match.

Then something strange happened to my son. The crowds parted on the grass, the Muslims came to the center and lined up precisely, and Imam Hendi called his boy to the front. The imam then gave an impassioned speech on the intense love he felt for everyone there, for all Jews and all Christians, and on how indeed there was no proper way to be a Muslim other than through love.

My boy was watching all these men and women gather. Then Yahya's boy led the call to prayer, and my son's face was aglow with his beautiful eyes full of wonder. I stared at Isaac staring at Yahya's boy in reverence, and I, on the side, in the cool of the night, underneath brilliant stars, prayed that maybe we should just stay in that moment.

You see, Imam Hendi felt especially motivated to gather everyone because we were days away from the spectacle of an American Quran burning. He was on television, and I was being called for a television spot that night. So here we were, Yahya and a hundred guests, prayers and blessings, my girls and his girls, my boy and his boy, and also a world gone mad.

I noticed a change in Isaac after that night. He came to Synagogue with me, with the glove, as usual, but I caught him watching and listening intently to ceremony, mouthing many of the words he did not know yet. I saw him begin to explore his identity as a spiritual being.

I watched a second birth, the birth of a human being who seeks out what is beyond, at first through the worship practices of the fathers and the mothers, through the ceremonies of the ancients, through engaging what has come before.

For that second birth of my son, I have Imam Yahya Hendi to thank, a Palestinian who just buried his father back home in bad circumstances, who is fatherless now, just like me, trying to make the world safe for his beloved children. I see him there on the grass, hands raised, palms up, the stars blazing above, saying his ancient words, Allahu Akbar. I think to myself, yes, sometimes God is great, when we find the Divine Presence in the eyes of strangers, and in the loving words of long lost cousins. And I think that this year I inaugurated my Isaac on a good journey.

Rabbi Marc Gopin, author of To Make the Earth Whole, is the James Laue Professor and Director of CRDC, George Mason University, and a co-founder of MEJDI (www.mejdi.net), a Jewish/Arab social enterprise that offers educational peace tours in support of honest businesses and social change activists.

 
 
 

Follow Marc Gopin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/mgopin

It was three days before Rosh Hashanah, and I was predictably anxious about my identity, my life, about my family's Jewish future. As a good and fractious Jew, I was somewhat ambivalent about which sy...
It was three days before Rosh Hashanah, and I was predictably anxious about my identity, my life, about my family's Jewish future. As a good and fractious Jew, I was somewhat ambivalent about which sy...
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jillian York
07:46 AM on 10/28/2010
This was beautiful, thank you.
02:14 PM on 10/26/2010
lovely story. but the penultimate sentence would better be written "God is always great," :)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sherifah Rafiq Lobo
01:20 PM on 10/26/2010
Imam Yahya Hendi is awesome. He is always so nice and laid back and I'm glad you got to spend Iftar with his family. Perhaps, you can return the favor and invite him over for dinner :) That way the boys can get back to being boys by seeing who has the best volley, or fast ball.

Ma Salaama
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
plaidsportcoat
11:32 PM on 10/16/2010
Rabbi, we women need to rule the world for a millenia and try our hand. Has the Imam had his daughters also call people to prayer?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sherifah Rafiq Lobo
01:21 PM on 10/26/2010
What a weird response to a thoughtful article.
11:58 PM on 10/26/2010
Not really, considering the patriarchal traditions of both Islam and Judaism. Women often feel, and indeed are, left out of the conversation.
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colah
Sometimes I sit & think. Sometimes I just sit.
07:31 PM on 10/15/2010
Terrific. Chalk up one more kid that will probably never have the chance to live a life without the burden of their parents superstitions. Well done.
08:28 PM on 10/16/2010
Well, all children rebel, make their own way, to some degree. We certainly are doing all we can to make our kids independent thinkers. So if they think that this all superstitions they will move on. BTW, how do you bring up your kids, do they think everything is superstition that you believe? How are you teaching them?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SrAN
1st time proud pagan mom since May 16
02:13 PM on 10/17/2010
I was raised in a severely Christian home, church every Sunday and Wednesday. When I grew up and left the house I was intelligent enough to find my own way through life. I tried many other aspects of religion instead of limiting myself to what I already knew and had been taught. I ended up landing on Paganism and it has stuck since I fully agree with it's teachings. I will be having my first child in a few months and I can say that I already believe that my child will grow up with enough sense of his/her own to make a life for his/her self. It is not burden of superstition but simply different views on life, education in a philosophical manner in many ways.
08:31 PM on 10/14/2010
Thank you for making me cry :(
08:29 PM on 10/16/2010
yeah, me too! thank you for reading.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SrAN
1st time proud pagan mom since May 16
03:16 PM on 10/14/2010
This is a wonderful article. Thank you so much for posting it. Anytime I feel that religion and the world is being swarmed with mad people I always look to children. They bring simplicity back to what it means to be human. It amazes me how children can easily put aside their small differences and learn to conform to their environment. Your son is so lucky to have a parent like you. Someone so willing to let their child be introduced to many different cultures and view points. If only we could get the rest of the world to join together like this, the world would be such a quieter place.

As a Pagan, I say to you Blessed Be.
08:30 PM on 10/16/2010
Thank you so much, SrAn! I really appreciate the support. I am not the best parent, but I am very involved.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SrAN
1st time proud pagan mom since May 16
02:09 PM on 10/17/2010
One thing that I am learning is that those parents who think that they are doing everything right are usually the ones who are severely out of touch with their children. Those parents who know that they are not perfect and are making mistakes are usually the ones who are much more aware of their children and more nurturing. I am sure you are doing a fine job, regardless of what others like colah want to think.
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Larry Motuz
More prayers, fewer preyers.
11:21 AM on 10/14/2010
The language of the heart is the language of G*d. I love it when the language of the heart speaks through the languages of belief to show us what is important.

I have no religion but great faith in this language of G*d.

I am pleased when G*d prepares others to speak it.

Thank you so very much, Rabbi.
05:24 PM on 10/12/2010
Thank you for this beautiful article Rabbi.
10:49 PM on 10/11/2010
Thank you for a great story, Rabbi. If we could all understand what you and the Imam have in common everyone would benefit. The hateful extremes of all religions do not square with the real teachings of the faiths.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Marc Gopin
10:27 AM on 10/12/2010
which is why we must work harder at fighting for those faiths, not just pointing out their flaws. This is a global contest for the soul of spirituality and religion, and it is helpful to engage the battle nonviolently but with confidence
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alanposting
Maybe the Hokey Pokey is what its all about?
06:54 AM on 10/14/2010
"the real teachings of faiths"........should be living in your own prison.
08:31 PM on 10/11/2010
I loved the sense of humour and the warmth with which the story was narrated. It reminded me of the verse:

Quran [2:148] For, every community faces a direction of its own, of which He is the focal point. Vie, therefore, with one another in doing good works. Wherever you may be, God will gather you all unto Himself: for, verily, God has the power to will anything.

To the author, continue writing...
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Marc Gopin
10:28 AM on 10/12/2010
Yes, I love this verse! And thank you!
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Larry Motuz
More prayers, fewer preyers.
11:06 AM on 10/14/2010
I thank you too.
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brooklyncitizen
Soror quaerens lucem
07:51 PM on 10/11/2010
Thank you for posting this. Very moving.
03:11 PM on 10/11/2010
whoa this gives me hope
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
10:37 PM on 10/10/2010
The fact that you are reading responses to your post and responding yourself speaks well of you and your intent. As an atheist myself, I think it is probably not harmful to commend religious persons when their behavior is such that it helps those outside their circle. I'd like to say thanks for this post for its clear loving kindness to the whole world.
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09:58 PM on 10/10/2010
when we close our ears to the din that roars all around us all thats left is love for ourselves and for others ,sadly we lose sight of love first