This latest episode of Newswitness News is dedicated to David Letterman.
So what if Dave's monkeying around with the staff of his show? I'd monkey around with the staff of our show if they were just a little better looking. Actually there's only three of us. And no women. But if push comes to shove we all put out.
Back to my main point: Letterman had consensual sex with women in show business. How is that a problem? Why do you think people go into show business? It's not just to screw over America by producing episodes of According to Jim.
Look, this is not even a juicy sex scandal. It's not like Letterman left the country to bang an Argentinian woman. That was inexcusable -- not because Governor Sanford is married -- but because there are hot Argentinian women here in the States. Who needs to leave the US in 2009 to find a Latina? That's just bad planning.
The point is we gotta stop constantly judging other people's sex lives. Unless they produce an amateur sex tape. Then it's fair game. Until then leave Letterman alone!
And enjoy this episode of Newswitness News - the only show not on Fox where a monkey delivers the news.