Many people eagerly sent me the Wall Street Journal article, "Coaching Urged for Women." The article heralded the McKinsey & Co. report released this month that claimed that "inadequate career development holds back female executives." As a result of their research, they surmised that the lack of women in top management positions is due to insufficient coaching, leadership training and rotation through various management roles.
Although the report includes a suggestion for leaders to work on the limiting mindsets that create the barriers for women, the recommendations focus primarily on "fixing the women" instead of on fixing the system that created the problem. A recent Harvard Business Review article demonstrates that companies that are committed to putting women through mentoring and training don't necessarily promote them. They just make them busier.
I love that I have a cadre of amazing female leaders that I coach. Yet, it would make their lives easier if the male leaders they had to deal with were coached as well.
In January, the head of North American HR of one of the largest software companies in the world told me that they were working on developing their female employees even though the top management team was still made up of men. He said, "I coach many of the women myself. I help them see how they can best work in this male-dominated company."
I asked him, "Are you also developing programs for men so they can best work with women in your company?" He quickly said that would not be possible given their German management team.
Pattie Sellers, Editor-at-Large for Fortune magazine, made a sobering statement at this year's ICAN Women's Leadership conference. "There will not be parity for women," she said. Parity will not happen in our lifetime. Parity will not happen with the power structures in place today, she said. She claimed that there is a narrow band of acceptable female behaviors making it extremely hard for women to lead authentically. These limitations and stereotypes will keep the imbalance in place.
Selena Rezvani, author of The Next Generation of Women Leaders, says, "Women are often not seen as intellectually or emotionally equipped as their male counterparts. Stereotypes of women as too passive, too emotional or too ambitious to lead are simply not based in reality." She describes how our social conditioning has entrenched the nuanced barriers that women face. You might think discrimination is fading, but Rezvani sites countless studies and examples that demonstrate this ongoing force in the workplace.
In addition to the negative judgments around female emotions and behaviors, the determination that they lack skills is also not based in reality. Rezvani cites a study done by Lawrence A. Pfaff in 2001 that included 2,482 managers from 400 companies across 19 states that found that female managers scored higher than their male counterparts on 20 different leadership skills. The measurements extended beyond "soft skills" like communication and empowerment to include skills typically attributed to men such as decisiveness, planning, and setting standards.
A study published in 2008 comparing the scores on standardized math tests of seven million boys and girls across 10 states found no difference in their math proficiency. Many of these girls now entering fields of engineering, accounting and finance. The fact that few make it into leadership positions can't then be blamed on a lack of skills or knowledge.
On the bright side, Sellers also said that more and more women are starting businesses to create the companies they want to work for. I suggest we support these companies by buying their goods and services and suggesting others do the same. This may be the only way of decreasing the female leadership gap.
In spite of these bleak reports, I am optimistic that some of our leaders, especially the younger ones, will "get it." There will be enlightened leaders who see that the answer is not to "fix women" but to change the mindsets of both men and women that keep women in an inferior light.
Dr. Rachel Remen, author of "Kitchen Table Wisdom," writes, "When you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life whole." When leaders stop trying to fix the female problem and instead promote women being valued in the workplace for who they are, then we might start seeing the numbers of female leaders rise.
Women don't give up their ambition as the McKinsey report suggests. The system gives up on them when they paint women as inadequate.
Yes, there should be equal opportunities for development for women and men. In addition, all leadership training should have a day focused on men and women dialoguing about their needs, desires and challenges so they can all move forward together.
I once heard a story about an African village that sees every problem as a result of their "system." When a child commits a crime, the elders are gathered. They do not ask, "What is wrong with the child?" They ask, "What have we done that this act has occurred?"
Can we turn this conversation from being a "they should" declaration to a "we should" conversation? I urge coaching for both men and women to maximize the full potential of all people seeking to be leaders.
Follow Marcia Reynolds on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MarciaReynolds
Hon. Carolyn Bennett: Why Politics Is Too Important to Leave to the Men
How Helping Women Helps Business- McKinsey Quarterly
Some of this discussion concerns me because if we're not careful we end up in a passive "when will the system fix itself" mode. I'm challenging us all not to succumb to such passivity. Ladies, What Are We Waiting For? http://reclaimingleadership.com/?p=773
OCwriter, mothers are not the only ones raising boys. The fathers, or father figures/role models, are the ones who should be setting the example.
Continuing to blame women for what's not right in your world is the opposite of what should be happening. These are belief systems we're talking about.
of the churches, soemthing that still lingers on, is not really resovled?
http://socratesbooks.blogspot.com/2008/11/decent-critic-of-church-religion-an
It's no surprise McKinsey pulished this article, which I also read with same disappointment as the author expresses. Consulting firms have some of the most flawed diversity programs and so called women initiatives where even women partners stay in minor roles, barely getting the managing partner roles nor any significant leadership roles that really distinguish leaders in a consulting firm.
You can't change others, but you can change yourself if you first recognize how your thoughts, beliefs, biases, past experiences and values shape the way you behave and how you expect others to see you and react when you communicate with them.
Indeed Mc Kinsey is right about coaching women to become better leaders in a men dominating world but agree with you Marcia that the vast majority of men executives should be coached too not only to benefit from the different values women can bring but also embrace diversity and deliver a more efficient leadership and vision reflecting the globalization of the economy with fast growing powerful countries like China, India and Russia. China is already the second economy in the world before Japan and the world's biggest creditor.
There is no training ground for women to be powerful and successful in their own way. There is only the Good Girl model or the "play like a man" model. We have to learn how to deal with conflict without losing ourselves or our feminine power.
Most of us have never really been taught that it's okay to speak up, to be fully ourselves in public, or even that it's okay to be angry. Most of us want to succeed and be recognized, but not TOO much, because someone else might be offended or resentful or feel left out. We've been trained (by our culture, our ancestors, our system) to be caretakers rather than rulebreakers, and that if we stand up and make too much noise, people won't like us.
This is what I'm working to help women do differently. I believe we can be feminine and express our full selves while keeping happy and healthy relationships.
Does the system need to change? Of course it does. Would coaching for men and corporations to make room for a woman's way of being help? Sure. But like this article points out, it's not likely.
If we learn how to speak up without fear of losing our partners and friends and family, the system will change with us.
I'm at www.healingforgoodgirls.com
My 2 cents includes 2 points:
1. women mothering sons should examine their behaviors: 'entitled' men were 'entitled' boys & no one knows this better than women who watch their girlfriends fawn over 'the little prince'---
2. women & 'queen bee' syndrome: when women finally break thru the barriers, many act like other 1st generation minorities do-they savor their 'solitary' position in the boys club of being the only girl--i do believe this is one reason why many women feel unsupported by female bosses and why many women believe working for a woman is tougher than working for men--
On the other hand, with a daughter, she isn't necessarily thinking she may be holding the next president of the United States. She may be wondering: Is she going to be pretty enough? Will she find the "right man"? Will she just be some dish rag or doormat? Will she come home pregnant one day?
This is the unspoken anxiety pushed upon so many parents. Society tells us boys are easy to bring up. Girls, not so much.
But these are people who are blind to statistics about serious mental disorders, unfettered violence, and the sense of entitlement which, when unrecognized by most except mom, and maybe dad, may get them in trouble. Especially if they don't get their way in the most important situations (jobs, relationships, schooling, etc.)
We are doing ourselves a disservice to society and both our girls and boys with these unrealistic expectations. Let's stop with the "little prince" fawning....and also "the little princess who will grow up and marry the prince charming of her dreams" distorted thinking.
It is astonishing that some women, who, once they gain access to "the boys club", think they are magically on the "winning" side.
This is truly sad. Some women come to mind immediately. Phyllis Scafly, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, to name a few. What they don't realize is that they are acting against their own best interests.
They are simply being used. They are trotted out and supported by men who want them to confirm the latest assault on women, be it by any of one of our institutions (politics, religion, the courts, etc). These are the very same men who would ordinarily dismiss them if they stood up for themselves and their own kind.
However, this is dangerously thin ice. If these same women cross the line and threaten to get close to being anything but the puppets they were propped up to be, it is over.
I don't blame these women for wanting to have a piece of the pie...but it is never a good idea to betray yourself for self-serving purposes to do it. And it's an even worse idea to accomplish it at the expense of half the population who are not genuinely represented by the above stated institutions.
What is needed are sponsors: people who will bring a women forward, insist on her qualifications, and promote her talents. That is very different from a mentor.
So what precisely do you say is going on in my situation, and what would you do if you were me?
Also, you may want to look at the hiring process.Are you hiring the right person m(male or female) for the right job? Get the jobs scientifically benchmarked, structure your interviewing process and hire talent with a specific development program that will close the gap between the job and the talent.
But here the truth, you are the common denominator, making them the problem. Making them wrong isn't going to make you more effective.
But even clerical staff.
Women are not a minority group, they are half the population and at the moment the majority of graduates. Single young women make more than single young men. Continuing to promote the female disadvantage at this point will create a real male disadvantage. Men and women from a previous generation need to get out of the old mindset that something has to be done to create perfect balance now when it will naturally arrive later. The scales did not shift because of corporate choices. It was society itself.
Equal opportunity exists for both genders. Executive jobs are not exactly a issue of mass significance. It's one of the most elitist issues you can find since so few will make it to the top of anything. Women in leadership are not so dissimilar to men that you will get a massive advantage by making that choice independent of individual attributes which could be found in either gender. To say men and women are very different creates justification for discrimination. We need to focus on equality not new forms of chauvinism.
That means forget being the captain of some medieval ship you must be "in control" of one day.
Most women love men, including myself. I have beautiful males in my life. I wouldn't trade them for the world. I respect them because they are not threatened by my self-respect nor my own hard earned financial gains and vice versa.
It is wonderful when a woman wants a man because she loves him as opposed to needing him. Needing another for mere survival only brings resentment and heartache. Women want strong men who will respect them and cherish them, as men want the same. We are getting there.
RE: Equal opportunity exists for both genders--I'm gonna take a wild guess---you're a man, right?...:)
What a powerful discussion we must have around the quote on the African village elders wanting to know how the system failed. Part of the problem is since the third grade people are looking for the "right" answer, not a solution.
Critical thinking is a lost art in U.S. education as well. After coaching with so many small companies, I had to create a program for adults called Pivotal Thinking to teach perspectives and metaviews. I'm all for the ISO and Lean Management theories, too. Great analysis, but sometimes it is myoptic. Now is time for a national breakthrough to burst through the haze of uncertainty and create the future. MC