When Women Talk About Themselves, They Earn More

In a recent survey of working adults conducted by Accenture, 68 percent of the women thought it took hard work and long hours to advance in a company. The result often leaves women feeling burned out, and in some cases, they don't even choose to move up the ladder. Yet the study also found that even though many women are dissatisfied with their jobs, they aren't planning to leave the company any time soon.

In reality, people don't advance into top positions just because they work harder and give up their lives for the company. If you focus on these traits, you will be more resentful than successful.

I do live 360 interviews for my executive clients. The interviews center on these two questions: "What does my client do well as a leader" and "What could she do differently to increase her value as a leader in this organization?" No one says my clients should work harder. Most often the suggestions for improvement include:

1. Increase your visibility by sharing your ideas and unique perspective more often.
2. Build your key relationships by letting stakeholders and senior leaders know how you can help them.

In other words, show the world what you know. This makes you indispensable. This gives you leverage for choosing your career path.

The problem is that most women don't like to self-promote. As a result, they don't even know what makes them special. Another comment I frequently hear in my leadership interviews is, "She is valued more by senior management than she values herself."

In my own career, I survived many layoffs and zig zagged up the corporate ladder through a number of high-tech companies, taking on greater and more interesting challenges each time I moved. I learned early on that self-promotion is not bragging. Flaunting my unique core talents helped management determine how best to use me. This keenly positioned me to use my strengths to help the company grow.

When I ask my female executive clients to identify what they contribute beyond their skills and knowledge, they act as if I'm speaking another language. They are able to tell me what they have accomplished, but they struggle articulating what traits they possess that helped drive their success. These women hold top leadership positions. They possess special and critical traits that qualified them for their roles. Yet they become totally helpless when I ask them to tell me what makes them special.

On the other hand, the men evaluating these women have no trouble defining what makes these women special. Often these traits are similar for women, as if there are specific things women leaders excel at. I have read studies that attempt to prove that women are better at some leadership competencies than men. I have read other studies that debunk this theory. Therefore, my summation is simply observational, but you might find you possess these talents as well. From my experiences, women stand out for:

1. Bringing a more comprehensive and long-term perspective to the table
2. Providing a deep sense of how systems and people interconnect in the organization
3. Speaking up and confronting difficult situations (yes, strong, smart women tend to confront issues head-on more readily than men)
4. Dealing well with ambiguity
5. Embracing the value of diverse people and ideas
6. Reading non-verbal and emotional cues

Do any of these traits characterize your contributions? What else do you call forth that helps you move forward at work and in your life? What can you develop that will make you stand out? In my last post, I explored how fostering a global perspective will give you a key competitive advantage in the workplace. What do you have a passion for that could put you on the short list for stimulating projects and advancement? What would make you indispensable?

If you aren't sure, here is an exercise to help you articulate your worth to your organization: Describe a peak experience where you felt fully alive and excited about your work. This could be while you were working on something, or at the end of a project or challenging situation. What five things did you contribute to creating this peak experience beyond your work knowledge and skills (personal strengths, gifts, talents, emotions, attitudes, values, unique sense or perspective)?

If you still struggle with filling out your list, keep a success journal. Whenever you do something well, ask yourself what special insight, values or traits you conjured forth to get the results. When someone tells you, "You did a great job," don't just say, "It was nothing." Ask them what specifically they thought you did. Let others help you identify your special contributions.

Do you want to take control of your career? Discover what makes you stand out and be proud of yourself for being a show off.

***

Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D., president of Covisioning and author of "Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction," works with companies and individuals to implement leadership practices that are both effective and fulfilling. Read more at www.outsmartyourbrain.com.

 

 

 

Follow Marcia Reynolds on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MarciaReynolds

Comments

[littlebrowngirl]

08:48 AM on 03/19/2011

Smart work not hard work gets you noticed. Also no one should be ashamed to point out what they are good at and can offer. I have had positions creates for me at companies because I could articulate my accomplishments and help others imagine how best to utilize my talents in thier organization.

[Rachel Ann Kelson]

11:05 AM on 03/17/2011

Thank you for posting this! As a woman who is trying to figure out what exactly I want to do in my professional life it's really good for me to have tips to guide me in the right directions.

[lynnharris]

08:15 AM on 03/17/2011

Your post is spot on Marcia, I come across similar blocks to progress when I coach women. You can't get promoted if the right people don't know enough about you. I don't consider it 'honking your own horn', but simply being helpful enough to give others information they need to make informed decisions about your career progress.

[french queen13]

09:37 PM on 03/16/2011

This is, of course, if one has "a career" rather than "a job". My job is just that, there is no career path even if I were interested (I like the work I do now and don't have any desire to change it). As for pay rises - ha. My last one was 25 cents an hour, and the general manager called that "substantial". He thinks that because the pay rate is above award, he's a good bloke. In fact all it shows is that the award rate is not a living wage!

[macdarling]

08:18 PM on 03/16/2011

I tell my female executives, "If you don't blow your own horn, someone will use it as a spittoon."

The trick is how and when to point out what was achieved. Speak with data: percentages, dollars customers served, productivity gains. If we are to claim our place in the world as being change agents for creating a world that actually WORKS for all, then being silent serves no one.

As always, Marcia: you nailed this one!

[keene]

04:45 PM on 03/16/2011

Self promo-come check out my poems!http://www.youtube.com/user/danpeak?feature=mhum

[Sunfell]

01:17 PM on 03/16/2011

I find it extremely difficult to 'honk my own horn'. Part of it is the engrained belief that women who bring attention to themselves seldom come to a good end. And perhaps another is that talking about one's self is an extraverted thing, and nearly impossible to do if you are an introvert.

Women are fed the idea that they are second-class citizens from the moment they are born- and until we can truly be peers of men, I really do not see this problem abating.

[Marcia Reynolds]

08:06 PM on 03/16/2011

Even if you don't feel comfortable speaking out, I believe you should still know what your talents and gifts are beyond your skills and knowledge so you can articulate them if asked. I recently had a HR manager tell me that she wishes women would do this better so she has the words to use when she fights for raises and promotions for them.

[TheEnergyPie]

08:53 PM on 03/16/2011

Of course, you don't see this problem abating if you aren't going to do anything about it. Sounds like you know the problem and what you should do about but can't/won't take action. What terrible thing will really happen if you 'honk your own horn?' Will you be stoned, will you be fired? No, you could be uncomfortable and then you could be rewarded, be proud, be a good role model. How will we really be peers with men if we don't do anything? Wait, we are peers with men already - and are from birth - so act like it and be proud of what you do and able to say it, to yourself, one other person or a whole room.

[Banker2]

08:33 PM on 03/22/2011

I agree with Sunfell. Only in extremenly rare instances (i.e., where a woman employee has a very secure, supportive boss) does it pay off to "promote yourself" as a woman. An extremely capable woman is a threat to---um, guess who? Yes, a man! The job market is a zero-sum game. If a woman dares to ask for that promotion, or more money, she takes something from someone else---more likely a man---and men will stick together. A woman who touts her accomplishments becuse she values herself and her accomplishments is like the woman who is about to leave her abusive spouse---it doesn't end well. I am so tired of hearing more "blaming the victim"---what a woman doesn't do well and what she should do and it's her fault for not being paid equally. Remember that women are not members of "the Fraternity." The SYSTEM is what needs fixing so go change that!

[Bonnie Marcus]

11:27 AM on 03/16/2011

Thank you for posting this. This is the focus of all my work with professional women; to help them talk about themselves and create the visibility they need to advance their careers. I have been suggesting the success journal for years and find that it truly helps women to focus on what they bring to the table.