Huffpost Divorce
The Blog

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Marcy Miller Headshot

It's A Jungle Out There

Posted: Updated:

Are women our own worst enemies? Are men justified in believing that women are insecure and needy?

I reentered the dating world after my 12-year marriage ended amidst my husband's heartbreaking infidelity. I was fixed up by my hair stylist, and he assured me that his handsome client was a good guy who would be a charming date. I was game for anything.

We met for a drink, and what started as an hour-long meeting turned into a three-hour conversation. Sparks were flying. He walked me to my car and asked me out for the next evening. I happily accepted.

After a movie and a romantic dinner at a small neighborhood bistro, he asked if I would be his date to a black tie charity benefit where his company had purchased a table. I was thrilled, particularly because the event would give me the opportunity to be glamourous and show off my best look.

When he came to pick me up in a tux, I swooned. His full head of white hair was slicked back, and his tall, lean physique looked sexy in his tux. I was in a black one-shoulder jersey long dress with chandelier earrings. We made a very handsome couple.

The event was huge, and the women looked lovely in their beautiful gowns and jewels. As we mingled at the cocktail party, an acquaintance of mine came running toward us. I introduced her to my date. She immediately started flirting with him, repeatedly touching his arm and giggling at his every remark. After a few minutes of this overt and inappropriate behavior, she slipped him a business card with her name and cell number.

She did all of this right in front of me. Did she think I was invisible? Or too dumb to know what she was doing? Was she so desperate to get a man that she did not care what I thought? And what about my date? He certainly did nothing to try to end the conversation. It was completely disrespectful to me that he encouraged such behavior and actually pocketed the card.

I was put in a no-win position. If I complained to him, I would appear jealous when in fact, I was not. I was disappointed in him. If I did not say anything, I would be condoning his behavior.

This is a problem that we face as women. Some women do not respect each other and believe that it is every girl for herself. These women do not believe in the rules of fair play, where another woman's date -- or husband, for that matter -- is off limits. This behavior allows men to treat women as replaceable because there are many other women who are available.

If women do not respect one another, why should men?