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Margaret Cho Headshot

Babies for Barack and Chuck for Huck

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Print has "Babies for Barack!"
with the cutest baby endorsing him. It is adorable. I
think it is time for all babies to let us know who
they want for president. Babies got it going on! I
think most of them are born Democrats. Have you ever
hung out with a baby with a toy? Usually, if you smile
at them and show some interest in the toy, they will
give it to you. That's a straight up Democrat move!
You don't become a Republican until you lose all your
baby teeth and fall down a lot and get the croup and
then become angry and bitter.

I live in a weirdly conservative neighborhood, where
at the local watering hole, old dudes sit around the
bar talking about campaigning for Mike Huckabee. It
would be scary, but they are all so drunk and
cirrhosis-bound that they don't seem to actually pose
a threat. What is there to like about Huckabee? He's a
hit with the home-schoolers, which is a red flag in
the first place. Perhaps it's his love affair with
Chuck Norris that is appealing. They are the
Brangelina of the Christian Right. KD Lang, who I
worked with last weekend (and who is an absolute BABE
-- totally beautiful and dreamy -- so handsome -- looks
just like Jake Gyllenhaal), called them "Chuckabee" --
which is just so perfect.