Let She Who Is Without Period Stains Throw The First Tampon

I just saw a picture online of Britney's period stain and I am horrified. I don't know why they would post a picture of that and I really feel terrible about it. I think that the paparazzi have gone too far. It is just tasteless and barbaric. I am so sorry for Britney and I hope she is ok. The only thing I can think of doing to somehow make it better is to say that this has happened to me about a million times.

I am the worst when it comes to period stains. That is why I never move because my mattress is so so so so stained that whenever I change the sheets it just looks like a murder scene. I'm serious. Somebody should put crime scene 'do not cross' tape up. It's awful! I can't understand any woman who hasn't had some kind of hot menses mess. Those women are weird and probably perfect, and always get a pap smear every six months, and have never had a weight problem or worried about sitting on a white couch - and they are no friends of mine!

Every month my body completely purges everything it has been holding onto. My periods are heavy, long, arduous - old furniture and books and records come out. Gold coins and anchors and treasures and lace and shoes. It's like a big clearance sale. Everything must go! That is just the way that I am built. I am just puzzled at the idea of a pantyliner or a regular tampon. I need to stuff half an emergency room in there every 28 days or I am looking at dying everything I own black. (Here's a hot tip - if you stain something with your own blood, spit on the stain - your saliva has enzymes that will break it down.unfortunately it has to be your blood and your saliva - you can't do it for anyone else). When my Aunt Flow comes to visit - the bitch brings presents. All the feminine products I use have "overnight" on the box.

The point here is let she who is without menstrual stains throw the first tampon. Britney is not Carrie and Chris Crocker was right - leave her alone!

Comments

[hope4theflowers]

You're a gem,Margaret.

[CoulterIsASuccubus]

I read somewhere the other day that she had purchased a pregnancy test. WTF? Now I hear that she's leaving bloody streaks. Thanks for the heads up so I will not click on any link that takes me to that picture. Fortunately, she isn't pregnant.
Face it, if Britney spreads her cheeks, her dingleberries will be featured on the covers of The Globe and Star. So where are the people who should be protecting this mentally ill trainwreck? It seems everyone around her is sabotaging her. She really needs an advocate and some handling....and possibly some lithium.

[GiggidyGeshmoygen]

If the media didn't show this stuff, the American public wouldn't develop an appetite for more of it.

After 8 years of George Bush, the American psyche has been successfully reduced to the level of its' infantile, febrile moron of a president.

[dahpunkster]

love you margeret used to watch american girl
when it was on they need to leave her alone so she get herself back , if I had the paparazi
following me 24/7 i would be beside myself too

[independentrepublicrat]

Link please?!

[cylindar]

Yes, they should leave her alone. On another point--Carrie was a cool chick. She did the right thing until the movie makers decided that she should also become a moral lesson. I really hate that when the victims are the ones who are ultimately destroyed. Carrie is cool!

[sassafra]

margaret? was there any particular religious figure portrayed in the stain? if so i'm not quite sure it would be a good idea to bring up or not.

[zull2]

The media has basically decided that the only way to market Britney Spears anymore is as a freakshow. The people click on her name, they still Google her, her name still pulls eyeballs to ads. But her career is pretty much dead. So how can you keep this retread going? By manufacturing a freakshow, and unfortunately, she is a willing participant. It's blatantly obvious, I know, but it needs to be repeated until people stop paying attention. The media shouldn't be rewarded with your attention for stuff like this.

[angel66]

Meanwhile, the world burns. The media is killing us.

[jennbeez]

I like it. "Period Power", symbolized by an Ultra Maxi Pad banner, could be the name of the new revolution.

[blueheronpl]

Girl, I totally know what you mean about stainage! I finally learned to just keep an extra pair of jeans somewhere I could get to them because my Aunt flo is more like Aunt flash-flood. If there is a woman out there who says this never happened to them, then they're lying! I honestly don't care about Britney, but geeze, how humiliating to have that photographed. Maybe there IS such a thing as "bad press".

[ScandalousCandice]

Why feel terrible about it? Sure it happens to every girl one time or another, but Britney is the one walking around with no pants on! That's the bigger issue. Her attention getting antics are to blame here. Not to mention she keeps showing up in public like she hasn't taken a bath in months.

Were the paps wrong for posting that pic? No. Well maybe in rotten.com sense of the word sure. But Britney should be responsible for her own actions. The paps would have had nothing if Britney had decided to wear pants like a normal person.

I am so sick of people racing to her defense, when she brings all of this shit on herself.

[Purple Girl]

If media doesn't think females will rub it in their faces if they insist on being so nosey- they've never seen your act or Sarah Silvermans. Watch our boys we can play hard ball too- in fact we got more ways to 'back you off' then you can think of...
How about yeast infections now- ah?
How about both at the same time?
Just move your foot back a step didn't ya?

[Economike]

I am totally shocked that the paparazzi would stoop this low, and am really disappointed that you did not provide a link to the photo Ms. Cho.

[nov47]

You are a gifted writer, and a breath of fresh air.