My Ellen Visit, Deferred

I am a big Ellen fan. I have been one for quite a long time now. I used to do the local news talk shows with her in San Francisco, when we were both still kids. I also opened for her at the Other Café when she would work special weekend shows, and she would bring the house down every night. She was miraculous to me, and continues to be. We both had sitcoms at the same time, filmed on the same lot, right next to each other. My show got canceled but hers went on, making history when she came out as a lesbian on national television. That episode completely changed my life and the lives of so many of us, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgendered folks and all around queers like me. Seeing someone proudly say they were gay, a star, someone we all knew and loved and respected, someone with the power to make us laugh and cry, was suddenly given another power -- she made us feel real. It was like -- "oh my God, we're real. We exist."

The power of visibility can never be underestimated. For this, she will always be my hero. She gave us the ultimate gift, herself, her true self, and with that gift, she made us all proud to be who we are. That is why when she asked me to do her show I was absolutely thrilled. I love her show! Especially the dancing!!! But with the writers on strike, I am unable to do it. This was a very difficult decision to make. I absolutely love Ellen, for a million reasons and for a very long time, but because of the way that I was raised, because my political views are they way they are, because I believe that workers should have the power and the ability to make their lives better, because many of my close friends are the ones picketing, I cannot cross the picket line. This was hard for me because I had to question what was more important to me -- my queer allegiance to Ellen, or my dedication to the writers and their families and all the people who have been sacrificing so much to the strike. The reason Ellen hasn't stopped production is because she refuses to put the 135 people who are employed on her show out of work, which is completely admirable and frankly heroic, considering all the flak she has gotten from the media. I apologize to Ellen and I hope that she understands my decision, and that when the strike is over, I will be able to do the show again. It has been a dream of mine for quite a while now, and I hope someday it will come true.

Comments

[SouthpawSass]

Well, I was to go over to my neighbor's house today, but her son was sick with the flu. So, I didn't want to cross the line of illness and chance getting it myself.

I love my neighbor, she's very funny and makes a great cup of coffee, but I just couldn't chance getting sick.

I just thought you'd all want to know why I didn't go to my neighbor's house today.

[InstantDogma]

It's a shame our accomplishments are not enough of a source of pride. But then what do we have to show for our efforts.
Back to the dreams....

[guru75]

Of all the nonsensical self congradulation this takes the cake. Ms. Cho is a brilliant comedian but rather foolish for thinking that a decent act - not crossing a picket line - is a heroic sacrifice. The excuse for Ellen that she feeds the multitudes by going on air sounds a little like Mrs. Astor in the late nineteenth century. That enormously rich woman justified an outraqeously ostentatious party, the guests were dressed as royalty on horseback, during the depression of the 1890's, by claiming that she employed so many people by doing so. Some scabs leave a scar, and Ellen will be considered less than a friend by writers long after this strike is over.

[pfc1369]

What is it exactly that makes people say they are "proud" about something that is pure chance and usually not of their doing at all?

Exclaimations such as: Proud to be an American, Proud to be a Jew or Christian, Proud to be gay. What's with that?

[CountryBeforeParty]

I like Margaret very much, but can someone give me a definitive answer please?

Is she a lesbian, or bi-sexual? I'd just like to know. Thanks.

[lagunabeach]

Not crossing a picket line should be the easiest decision to make and not the hardest. Either you don't have a conscience and you cross or you do have a conscience and you don't cross. Easy.

[benthere]

It is very hard to "do right." If you really support your Union you don't cross. There are a million excuses for why people "have to" cross a picket line. In the end you either are or you aren't a Union supporter.

[ibivi]

I have had enough of Ellen. She is totally self-centered and it's always me, me, me.
Crossing a picket line as a union member is a serious issue. I don't think she is being noble in any way.

[injinplease]

Oh , make a point of taking everyone's side . I think if she is heroic and you can be interviewed by her , then all the writers who have written for you won't mind ? I think if you are gay and a comic you can shed light on what that is like in hollywood. I think you are picking every side and you are not very worried about anything but getting attention to stay in some form of view for the public. The strike is not you being on TV or pissing off your writers , unless that's what you meant by your lack of opinion?

[duboisist]

Ms. Cho,

I appreciate your dilemma, as I sympathize with Ms. DeGeneres's. There are no longer any easy answers when it comes to issues of justice and equality (if there ever were any).
The only way things will get better is if people speak out and explain WHY they are making particular choices and what they wish to achieve.

Thank you for your commitment, but thank you more for sharing your heartfelt reasoning with us.

[CoulterIsASuccubus]

Margaret, you da bomb. So is Ellen. Hope to see you on TV soon. We have all your specials!

[mbaty]

The Ellen show has too many paid crewmembers to shut down for a few writers...­and Ellen herself is very funny or she wouldn't even have a show. We all want the writers to get what they deserve and to be acknowledged as an important part of the entertainment industry, but Ellen was first a stand up comedian, and it's her that we watch for. She should be interviewing the writers so we can get to know them, but we already know Ellen.

[XCITIZEN]

Welcome Margaret!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

[zizyphus]

The writer, Margaret Cho, is one of the most talented comedians in the world. Talented, yes, and scrupulous, too! Ellen will invite her back again.

[marcain]

Margaret, you're a sweet friend to write this. However, sexy one, i hope you still cross the jaji line occasionally. I read an interview with you before where you mentioned Chris Isaak.