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Margaret Cochran, Ph.D.

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Betty Crocker, It's Time to Hang up Your Spoon and Apologize to America!

Posted: 09/22/11 10:00 PM ET

What happened Betty? You used to be so good, so sweet and wholesome as apple pie. And now look at you, a trans-fat slut! What made you sell out to the dark side? Speaking of which, that's the real reason Darth Vader sounds the way he does, too many cigars and trans-fats in his diet.

Betty, we've been through so much together you and I. There was the 'cake slope' disaster of '62, when a layer cake I made, using one of your recipes, somehow went south, very south, in the baking process and developed a distinct downward elevation. I made a double batch of frosting, again courtesy of your cookbook, to fill in the uneven parts and make it at least appear level. My grandfather, for whom I made the cake, and who I think was suspicious after seeing it that something was not quite right, although he tactfully did not let on, declared after taking a bite that, "icing is better than cake anyway." Good old grandpa.

And then there was the great inadvertent 'cookbook heist' of '79 in which I borrowed a brand new Betty Crocker cookbook from a colleague of mine and absentmindedly neglected to return it. I found it some years later when I moved across country and I felt just awful. If the girl I borrowed it from all those years ago is, by chance, reading this you may consider it an IOU.

Betty, you were never a gourmet cook, but you had lots of simple, practical recipes that came in handy to fill in 'the gaps' or to assist with a much-needed 'quick fix' for something at a dinner or cocktail party. You were always an icon of American cookery, a failsafe, someone who had my culinary back. And now, well now, it's over!

And what brought you to this ignominious end? Trans-fats, that's what!

I love baking, but like so many people in the world today I get very busy and sometimes shortcuts are tempting. Recently, I found myself in the position of 'owing' a friend some cupcakes. I was at the grocers purchasing ingredients when it occurred to me that I could save some time by using one of Betty Crocker's premade frostings. When I picked up a container of said frosting (cream cheese flavor) and read the label, as I always do, I found much to my horror that it contained artery-hardening, cerebral hemorrhage-inducing and heart attack-creating trans-fats. Using a known poison in food is not only unacceptable, it's irresponsible and immoral, so Betty old girl, it's goodbye and good riddance!

Now for those of you in need of a quick and simple frosting recipe (bear in mind I am not encouraging you all to O.D. on sweets and carbs, just a little dab 'il do ya) let me share with you my TRANS-FAT FREE alternative to the Betty Crocker 'bad for you' brand version.

Dr. Cochran's Easy Cream Cheese Frosting

8oz Cream Cheese
2/3 cup Sugar
3 Tbs Butter
¾ tsp Vanilla

Cream ingredients together until well combined than whip the mixture for 2-3 minutes. Spread as needed. Keep refrigerated.

Until next time, I'm Dr. Margaret Cochran wishing you a balanced diet, the determination you need to read the labels on the food you buy, and lots and lots of Wisdom, Love and Magic!

 
 
 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
crom14
04:46 PM on 09/25/2011
Wonderful article! It is time for everyone to pay attention to what we eat!
ThinkCreeps
Seriously, it's time.
03:50 PM on 09/25/2011
Trans-fat frosting? You make it sound marginally less appetizing than I imagine it must taste.
04:07 PM on 09/24/2011
If you use sugar in that icing recipe, you'll end up with a gritty substance. You should use confectioners sugar.
ThinkCreeps
Seriously, it's time.
05:53 PM on 09/24/2011
I suspect only the direst Crocker followers would not realize that.

If a punter cannot correctly understand which is the appropriate `sugar', then they'll end up eating as they deserve.
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05:44 PM on 09/23/2011
I supposed this was supposed to be lively or fun or what have you, but it was just boring, and, all the others leaving comments make valid points. Why single out Betty? Let me add one more observation: If you owed someone some cupcakes and you felt you could save time with store bought frosting in a tub, that was your first mistake. Why rely on store bought frosting? If you are that pressed for time that you can't make your own, just buy the damn cupcakes from the bakery department -- because I guarantee nothing from the bakery department will be any worse than a cupcake made with store bought frosting, and you've put just about as much effort into it. What, baking it from a mix to start is your contribution? Psssh. If you really want to make your own, but can't make frosting and don't want to buy the evil tub frosting, just get a box of powdered sugar, shake some over the top of each cupcake, and call it a day. Save your rant for something more important. Or interesting. Or both.
04:48 PM on 09/23/2011
Dr. Cochran, it's time to power down your laptop for good and apologize to Betty Crocker.
02:20 PM on 09/23/2011
if you do not like what is in it do not eat it some people do just like i like butter , red meat,salt it is people like you who want to make it a crime to eat these things
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Karl Wilder
01:25 PM on 09/23/2011
The cookbook and the products have no connection to each other. Every prepared food uses trans fat for the most part. Why bring the cookbook into this discussion?
10:30 AM on 09/23/2011
Did any of the self stable frostings not contain trans fats? No need to be harsh on Betty when she's not alone. Besides, she's obviously filling a consumer need. Quality frosting, now, without the mess. If you were willing to make it yourself or had the time, you would not be in the frosting aisle in the first place.

Now if there is a premade frosting without trans fats that performs and tastes as well as Betty's, we are all ears.

Another question you should ask yourself, what are you willing to give up for convenience of the frostings if they dropped the trans fat? If they switched to coconut oil, would you be okay paying a little extra and having the saturated fat increase? If they switch to non-hydrogenated oil, would you all be okay with it softer and having a shorter shelf life (a few months rather than years.) You can't have it all.
09:22 AM on 09/23/2011
By how many points did you elevate your blood pressure with that little freakout, doc? I'll give you a cookie if you peel yourself off the ceiling... there's a good doctor...
11:39 PM on 09/22/2011
Margaret, your frosting recipe doesn't sound like enough to frost an entire cake. I think it would need to be doubled in order to do that.