Connecting with a beloved is one of the most wonderful experiences in life. When we connect with someone we love, loneliness goes away and we feel full of joy within. We yearn for this connection, yet we often find it elusive.

There are very specific things you can do...

The English language is very limited when it comes to words having to do with love -- we only have the one word. As my daughter, Sheryl Paul, wrote in "96 Words for Love," many other languages have many more words for love. For example, Sanskrit has 96...

When you were growing up, how did your parents or other caregivers handle conflict?

• Did they fight when they had conflicts?
• Did they ignore the conflict, hoping it would somehow get resolved?
• Did one give himself or herself up to avoid the conflict?
• Did one get angry and the...

"We hardly ever make love anymore."

"Our lovemaking seems like a chore for both of us."

"Our sexual relationship seems flat and boring."

"My wife/husband is rarely interested in me sexually."

I often hear these complaints from my clients. Yet, some couples deeply enjoy their lovemaking with each other...

"How do I know when I'm really in love?"
"What does it mean to be in love?"
"I think I'm in love, but then I have doubts. If I have doubts, does that mean I'm not in love?"
"I feel in love, but why is this...

Falling in love is one of the most enlivening experiences in life. Having worked with couples for 44 years, I see over and over that newly in-love couples invariably believe their love will last forever. They often say:

• We are both open and caring people so there is no reason...

As an infant and toddler, were you held and nurtured with unconditional love? Did your parents or other caregivers lovingly help you to manage and regulate your big feelings of fear, anger, heartbreak, frustration and helplessness? Did they provide a strong role model for you, taking loving care of their...

I doubt that anyone would say out loud that they love being miserable. Yet many people wallow in misery, doing the same things over and over that create their misery. While life is often challenging, lonely and heartbreaking, misery is a choice.

Why would someone make the choice to...

Many of us grew up being compared to others. Perhaps you were compared to siblings, or to other kids in the neighborhood. Certainly, schools foster comparing children to others during classroom time and with grades. Most of the environments children participate in include comparisons.

My 8-year-old grandson is home-schooled, so...

All relationships have a system. Some work well and some don't. Since I have been working with relationships for the last 44 years, I've become very attuned to what kind of a system two people have between them. Often, I can see their system in the first 10 minutes of...

In one of my free webinars -- one that focused on what it looks like to love yourself -- Grant asked the following question:

"Isn't it selfish and pathetic to love yourself? Isn't it better and healthier to put your full attention on helping others?"

I feel sad...

Celebrating Valentine's Day can be a romantic way to share love with a beloved partner, but what if you don't have a beloved partner? Or, what if you have a partner but your partner is not the romantic type and forgets about Valentine's Day? Or what if you and your...

When you think back on fights you've had with your partner or others, do you generally remember what you fought about? In my work with couples, they may tell me that they had a big fight, and when I ask what they were fighting about, they often can't remember. The...

Fear of rejection is a big issue for many people -- and it used to be for me, too. I used to be so worried about how others felt about me that I was often anxious in my interactions with them -- always trying to say and do the "right"...

Some of the basic needs of childhood are love and emotional connection. When we receive these, we learn to feel worthy and lovable. Many of us grow up without these needs being adequately met. This lack of connection can have far-reaching physical and psychological consequences for us. (For extensive research...

Do you mean what you say? Do you say you will do something and then not do it?

I experience this often. Someone says they will call and they don't. Someone says they will follow through on a project and they don't. Someone says they will get something important finished...

When I was growing up, my parents made it very clear that feelings were to be avoided. I heard homilies such as "don't cry over spilled milk, " or "I'll give you something to cry about." When I was upset or crying, I was ignored or sent to my room....

"I'm not a smart man but I know what love is." -- Forrest Gump

When I was in school, kindness never seemed to be valued by the teachers. What was valued were grades -- being smart. Obviously today, with the rampant prevalence of bullying, being kind still doesn't...

We all know that being in love is one of the very best feelings in the world. When we fall in love, we often believe that our in-love feelings are going to last forever.

In my counseling practice, I've worked with countless people who believed that, this time, the...

When I was 20 years old, I was a very unhappy young lady. I went into psychoanalysis -- on the couch four days a week for four and a half years, until my analyst said, "You're analyzed," which I took to mean that I was ready to create a healthy...