06/19/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

4 Very Good Reasons to Have Acute Self Awareness

One of the crucial steps in maintaining genuine personal connections with others is possessing acute self awareness. Self awareness is the ability to perceive what is going on with you at all times and -- this is important -- on all your various levels of self. Because this skill is not taught to us very well in our cultures, many of us find this an extremely difficult assignment. But, if you desire authentic, meaningful and satisfying personal relationships in your life, you have to learn how to be self aware. In other words: Know thyself.

There are several ways your personal level of awareness affects your relationships with others. Being richly aware of yourself on the many levels that operate at any given time helps others know you too. You are the one they are trying to relate to. The better you understand yourself, the easier it is for others to understand you. This can set the stage for more authentic, deeper relationships. There are several dimensions to this (as there are several dimensions to your relationships).

Good Communication
If you are aware of your ongoing inner conflicts, fears, hopes, thoughts, emotions, and so on (all going on at the same time for most of us), this awareness can help others understand. Many people believe that what they are thinking is the one thing that is happening for them. But, as many have said before, you are not your thoughts. When I am doing an empathic reading on someone, I am quite aware of the various gut clenches and wired feelings that are going on with a person, even though s/he is sitting there very calmly and saying very mellow things. Clearly, most of us react to events and ideas with several parts of ourselves. Knowing these parts of you intimately helps let others know when you have mixed feelings or strong reactions.

Authentic Communication
This leads to being able to express yourself authentically. How many times have you dealt with someone who was saying one thing, her body language said another thing, and all of this contradicted something she said earlier? In these cases, that person is unaware that they are giving off mixed signals. It is hard to know a person who does this very well as any given moment we are only getting a portion of the entire persona. It is also hard to trust them. If you know what is going on with you, and express what is true for you, people are able to understand you and relate to you on a very honest level. They can know you better. They can trust you when you say something.

Clearer Boundaries
Good boundaries mean letting others own their own difficult feelings and issues and making sure we own our own. In other words, it means not taking on other people's stuff and not making others responsible for ours. Great self awareness helps keep relationships healthy because self aware people have a better idea of what is their stuff versus what is the other person's stuff. It also helps because self aware people do better at not projecting onto others or not imagining things that are going on with them.

Letting Others Know the Real You
Who are the people in your life supposed to be relating to? The answer to this obvious rhetorical question is: You. If you don't know you, how are they supposed to know you. If you don't understand you, how are others supposed to understand you (other than your psychic)? You give yourself and others a better chance at real and authentic connections by expressing the real and authentic you. Then you know people who you connect with accept you just as you are. This is a very nice thing to have in your life.

It all sounds so good, but in practice getting to know all of you, all the various parts, can be very hard. And yet, those of us who want very authentic, healthy relationships have no choice. Our level of self knowledge and perception impacts our relationships for better or for worse.

Questions, comments and ideas are welcome and encouraged. Contact Psychic Margaret Ruth on her Facebook page, email or go to