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Margaret Ruth

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Are You Highly Empathic?

Posted: 06/24/10 11:33 AM ET

"I don't know what being empathic exactly means, but I wonder if I am," Indie asked the other day. "I've been having shoulder problems that don't make sense and my mother is currently struggling with severe shoulder pain. My memory has been very bad lately and my father is losing his memory too. One of my good friends has depression and I was just diagnosed with it." She wondered, just maybe, if she was taking on others' physical symptoms. She questioned, "Is that being empathic?"

The quick answer is that she is probably highly empathic and so is an Empath, a term for someone with an extremely heightened level of empathy. My dictionary defines empathy as "the ability to identify with and understand somebody else's feelings or difficulties." This human trait is becoming more widely understood and the term used more frequently in popular culture. Empathetic listening skills are being hyped, for instance, on the web by management seminars, parenting workshops, mediation classes and there is even a medical software package using the word empathic in its title.

Some scientists think that empathy is soft-wired in every human's brain. Jeremy Rifkin, in his The Empathic Civilization, uses the example of when one baby in the nursery starts crying, how the rest of the babies cry also in response. Rifkin writes: "Recent discoveries in brain science and child development, however, are forcing us to rethink these long-held shibboleths about human nature. Biologists and cognitive neuroscientists are discovering mirror-neurons -- the so-called empathy neurons -- that allow human beings and other species to feel and experience another's situation as if it were one's own."

Indie's case is an example of empathetic ability operating at a highly sensitive level. This more heightened empathic ability could be considered a more psychic type, one of personally feeling another person's emotional or physical -- or both -- sensations. An Empath can often even experience what it is to be inside another person's skin so to speak, or perhaps actually see through the eyes of another. Sometimes being empathic is kinetically sensing the emotions or physical pain of someone in close proximity or intimacy. It can be done at a distance too. On a radio call once, for instance, I was sensing an overwhelming wired tension in the caller's stomach. I could feel her stomach knots in me. I had to interrupt her to ask about it and she admitted feeling anxiously knotted and achy in that area.

Are You Empathic?

Have you ever found yourself going from a good mood to a bad mood with no other cause than being around other people? Do you experience others' physical ailments? Are you compelled to help anyone who is in pain? You could be an Empath too. Check the following list of some typical indications and see if several apply to you to get a better idea.

Others' moods affect your mood

You feel others' physical pain

You tune into others' feelings from a distance

You can literally feel what it's like to be in another's skin

You take on others' physical states

You experience overwhelming feelings that don't appear to have a source

You feel compelled to help or heal people who are in physical or emotional pain

People, including strangers, are constantly pouring out their hearts to you

Horrible news stories and photos are too painful to look at or listen to

You care more about others' well being than own

You are overly sensitive to how others might feel

You blunt your feelings through self-medication vehicles such as alcohol, food or drugs.

How did you do? If you saw three or four that might apply, you might also be an Empath. The ability to understand what it is like to be in another's skin can be an advantage. Empaths can be better listeners. Their empathic sensitivity generates great compassion for others. They make considerate friends and mates. Empathic people can also be extraordinary healers. However, some Empaths are so sensitive, they sponge up others' anxieties, worries or fears and then feel these as if they were their own.

Absorbing everyone else's stuff can generate a great deal of confusion to someone who doesn't realize what's happening. The first step for someone in that case, like Indie, is to start understanding the cause. From that step, it gets easier to start doing a better job of shielding (which is a whole other topic).

Questions, comments and ideas are welcome and encouraged. Contact popular Psychic Margaret Ruth on her Facebook page, email mr@margaretruth.com or call 801-575-7103. You can also get details on private readings, Margaret's classes and blog at www.margaretruth.com

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12:49 AM on 06/28/2010
This type of person would be called a weakling by a lot of people especially in a capitalist society. You know, someone that needs to toughen up and get over their emotions and feelings. I am this type of person. It's nice to hear something positive about this trait.
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Katie Young
06:48 AM on 06/28/2010
Isn't that so true. If we were celebrated instead of being mocked, there would be much less hatred and violence in the world.
09:00 AM on 06/27/2010
Empathic = idiot. You are being drained by phsyic vampires whose sole desire in life is to make sure you feel as miserable and dispirited about the world as they do. There are no barriers to entry, in fact you might say a lost arm or leg is an asset here. Kind of like a Limb CD.
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April Coleman Rudin
10:36 PM on 06/25/2010
wow...i didnt know it had a name.....this is me
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Jodi Lampert
08:18 PM on 06/25/2010
I once overheard a person hawking some kind of service to one of my neighbors (I live in a courtyard). I heard the person being, it seemed, rejected. I thought they sounded desperate. To me, I then made up a whole story in my mind. I imagined this guy was supporting a wife and three kids, and was in desperate need of whatever it was the person was not purchasing. It made me very sad. When I relayed this to a friend later that day, I did add, "Of course, I could have been entirely wrong and the guy's at McDonalds having a Happy Meal!"
01:38 PM on 06/25/2010
Being empathic is not a trait everyone has as noticed in your article, but could be developed by having close relationships with people to the extent of sharing their innermost desires or problems. Also, your thought frequency will almost be at par to the other person to feel what he feels or is going through. Communication also matters a lot in this area as it gives your feelings expressions which can be picked up by a sensitive person no matter the distance. This is highly advantageous particularly in a close family setting or with a very loved friend or acquaintance.
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Debby Carroll
Blogger, The Joy of Fitness, Fitness Coach
12:34 PM on 06/25/2010
Isn't an "Empath" really just what we used to call a nice person? I like this post but there's a part of me that feels like we now use a lot of new age verbiage to express an age-old idea. People who "feel" others' pain may not be anything more than what our mothers raised us to be -- nice. Have we come so far from that simple goal that now just being a sensitive soul who can relate to others is some sort of psychological category? I raised my daughters to be what you describe in this post and don't feel like it should be anything that unusual.
http://raisingamazingdaughters.wordpress.com
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athenasword
wisdom is beautiful
10:40 PM on 06/24/2010
Brilliant post! I wish I'd had this to read years ago, when I first began to sort out why and how I felt other people's pain and emotions. It was a long learning process with no map and few clues. Now a healer and teacher, I love that I can now assist others so they can more quickly understand how to utilize (and cope with) these sensory skills.
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Courtenay Jones
04:59 PM on 06/24/2010
Hello Margaret!!

I answered yes to 9 out of 12 of these answers. I just got a book about becoming an empowered empath, called "Become the Most important Person in the Room". It has been helpful & I have picked up some good tips but I have had trouble completing the 30 day program since entering yoga teacher certification classes (summer intensive). Once again I find my energies being diverted into serving others or at least in this case learning about it. I recently had a monk come to my class & he told me that I noticed a lot & not to be scared of other peoples energy. He knew this bc he is clairovoyant. He reached into my mind & yanked that out, I didn't share that with him. He told me that I shouldnt try to stop feeling other people's feelings, that it is a good thing. I'm trying to convince myself that becasue while I'm learning how to love this life that I am living I would like to learn how to pay equal amounts of attention to myself. One hand helping others & one hand helping myself. How do you suggest those of us who already know that we are empaths do this?

Also are you going to write an article about shielding? That would be really appreciated...

Thank you, namaste, have a blessed day!

Sincerely
Courtenay
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athenasword
wisdom is beautiful
10:42 PM on 06/24/2010
I also answered yes 9 times. I love your idea about a post on shielding. Or, a discussion about self-clearing (smudging, salt baths, etc) would also be helpful. I found both techniques very useful.
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Courtenay Jones
01:11 AM on 06/25/2010
Omg epsom salt baths help so much. What type of salts do you use? I also find that bikram yoga helps a lot & have been able to appreciate the humid summers here in VA a lot more bc I know that I'm literally releasing others energies out of my pores.

What is smudging?

& what else do you do to help with this...I'm relatively young...23...I have only found the words for what I have been experiencing within the past couple of months. Otherwise I feel like my life has been muddled with confusion & I thought it was necessary. Never do I ever want to experience so much chaos if it can be avoided.
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sprider
Born lucky
02:20 AM on 06/25/2010
Smudging is burning sage. It clears and cleanses. You can smudge yourself and any physical place. I would suggest that when you feel overwhelmed with energy to, use your tools of course, smudging, salts, whatever your intuition tells you to use. I personally like rocks and stones. Make effort to consciously move the energy out of you. Send it through your feet into the ground. Visualize roots growing out of your feet and into the ground.Let the earth pull it out of you. I think as empaths we often forget to consciously release that which is not our own. Allow yourself to connect and feel other people, just don't hold on to it. Of course use whatever visual works for you. I like the roots visualization because it grounds me while I purge. For shielding I like to use what I call "the bubble". I surround myself in a positive color,(color depending on what I feel I need), and then I visualize placing a bubble or sphere around me that is reflective, like a mirror. Kind of like an energetic way of saying I'm rubber, you're glue, bounce off me and stick to you. You become an energetic reflection.Hope my thoughts help ; )
Love and Light
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athenasword
wisdom is beautiful
09:37 AM on 06/25/2010
I love the "bubble" or "cocoon" method. I usually make it gold, white, blue, or violet. Sometimes I visualize it being reflective, in very tense or thick situations. And, grounding.... OH YES, grounding!