I like girls. It's true. But for a long time I lived an average, heterosexual life in a very suburban, heterosexual town in Orange County, Calif. My sisters both got hitched at a young age, but I was happy being a single gal on the prowl. My friends even made me a "make-out bandit" t-shirt that I wore with pride.
Now, who's to say when it really began, but I can remember distinctly a time when a bunch of us ladies were gabbing in a friend's jacuzzi, talking about sex, of course, because we were in our 20s and world affairs just simply did not apply to our lives. It came out that a few of the women had kissed or made out with other women in the past. I was shocked, truly, for I had been taught that if a girl kissed another girl, she was gay. And none of these women were gay. I played it cool, not wanting to admit that I was confused or felt left out.
Needless to say, I kept thinking about it. Here I was, a 24-year-old hairdresser surrounded by über-fun and, in my eyes, "wild" women, wondering if I should maybe try kissing a girl, too. Spurring these thoughts on even more was the fact that I had a smoking hot co-worker with amazing legs and a sexy laugh. She ended up moving in with my close friend, and the three of us soon began hitting up bars and dance clubs outside our town. And then, it happened. My first girl kiss was fun and fantastic and intimidating and foreign. But fun. Afterward, things stayed platonic between me and my voluptuous co-worker, and I kept dating the various boys whom I encountered. Life continued.
Then a little while later, I had my second girl kiss. And my third. And my fourth. But this time, they were all with the same girl, who happened to be my best friend, who was also a co-worker, who was also "straight." And when things progressed, I was stricken by an anxiety unmatched by anything I had ever felt before. When you fall in love with someone, it usually feels euphoric and sexy and exciting. Sure, there are moments of worry, but it is all part of the electricity involved. I wanted to feel all of those things, but instead I was riddled with a sickening guilt; I found myself fighting my feelings and wanting things to "go back to normal." I had no one to really talk to; my parents were stressed, and I was afraid that if I went to my friends, they would start hurling Bible verses my direction. And God? I was afraid to tell Him, too.
Yeah, you read it correctly. God. To turn back time a little and fill you in, just months before, my little sister had left her husband and fallen in love with her best friend -- a woman, a co-worker who was also "straight," whose parents attended the same church as my parents. While I argued my sister's case to my parents and to my pastor, proclaiming that Jesus still loved her and us, I felt conviction. We lost a few friends, and we fought with our parents and older sister, but I stood by her and did not back down. And yet, when it came to my own feelings, I had trouble standing.
So I prayed. I prayed, I wrote poetry, and I waded through my brain, trying to decipher real truth and God's truth from the "truth" that was preached to me and ingrained in my child's brain. When you have attended a Christian church for your entire life, when you were raised in Sunday school, there are a lot of teachings branded on your mind that you may not even realize are there. I lost weight, succumbed to insomnia, and finally accepted that this was one area in which I would not have control. When I came out the other end of the dark and narrow soul-searching tunnel, my best friend was waiting for me. My second girl kiss became my first girlfriend, and we continued to fall more in love.
And God never abandoned me. My Christian friends, on the other hand, were not as open-minded. I ended up dropping out of my Bible Study, which breaks my heart to this day, and eventually leaving my church. I became a full-fledged Judith (which is our term for "lesbian"), although I suppose I considered myself to be more "bi" than anything. My little sister and her best-friend lover were married a year ago in southern California. My parents attended the wedding, but our older sister did not. I still love Jesus, and I know that Jesus loves me, and my sister, and has never stopped loving us once (no matter what people said to my face).
After much time had passed, I finally sat down to write my story. But every time I reread my chapters, I felt sad. Of course, there were a lot of hardships in the process, but it was also really fun! And funny. And silly. I wanted to create something that could share my story and my sister's story and be about Jesus but also about foraying into the world of lesbian sex and all its mysteries. And so my webcomic was born. I hired an amazing illustrator, who has helped me create this collection of memoirs and who draws my vision of Jesus and my dogs and a double-headed dildo with the same ease. I'm hoping readers will laugh, will hurt, will relate, and will contact me with their own struggles with sexuality and faith or both. The "chapters" are published bimonthly online at jesusloveslesbianstoo.com.
Check out a few pages below:
You can find Maria on Facebook.
Follow Maria Burnham on Twitter: www.twitter.com/JLLTMaria
Ruth Gogoll: Why I Write Lesbian Literature
Jennifer Knapp: The Courage To Speak Out: Reclaiming Queer Faith
And from my experience there is the impact of spiritual result of restrictions spiritual lives of the impurity is working to link the human with the same sex, and this has several reasons, including when you link the psychological or sexual abuse of a girl with a girl the other, the spirit of unclean give the right for linking moves this girl from one to another .... begins with kisses, and then ending sex ... and sometimes having to watch Internet sites for gay girls ... so you need to go to the pastor ( man or women ) who involved in deliverance ministry and have gift for deliverance and healing tosent you free from the unclean spirit, so you enjoy the freedom, forgiveness and healing .
I apologized to you because a lot of Christians who did not understand you and condemned .. but there are other Christians understand and they can help you ...and
Jesus still there to fill us with His love and gives us the ability to repent and break free and enjoy in the best life now and in eternity as well ... Be blessed my dear
and if we come to him he forget to us and accept us as we are ,and he will change us ....when we can't do by our power ,he can do it by his holy spirit .,.
My dear I think : Sometimes there are physical problem norepinephrine hormones (we all have masculine and feminine hormones) when the imbalance occurs secretion affinity for the same sex and this requires that I review a doctor and we will be giving the medication completely.
And sometimes there are wounds of the men or the raising or placing a family or just generally the result of relationships with friends and here Online in need to go to a psychiatrist specialist homosexuality to take the appropriate treatment,
Specialist advice or psychological.
It saddens me your church was so unaccepting. It makes me wish more diverse people accepted the call to start their own churches. Good theology drives out bad theology after all.
And thanks for reading!
It is nice to see a something well thought out and reasonable in it's presentation.
I have to say I laughed at that one. Can't pinpoint WHY I laughed, exactly, it just struck me as funny :)
I think it might just be that representations of sex in all its little complications and unexpected delights (aside from the obvious ones) are so rare.
The peak metaphor is used fairly often, but they always seem to ignore everything that goes into getting there - climbing the mountain. It's not like we just teleport in!
I like seeing honesty and accuracy, and sometimes it takes me by surprise.
Oh dear, that sounds rather cynical, doesn't it?
And I too have struggled with my bisexuality and religion. My family is very fundamentalist and doesn't approve. I have walked in on them at times just "happening" to speak how the Bible condemns homosexual acts.
Finally, while I find most of my gay and lesbian friends as supportive, I love how you are reminding some in the gay community that we aren't just in a phase or confused homosexuals, or something other than being bi. And I love the fact that you are educating people on what it is to be bi, the terminology, and such, through your beautiful personal account.
I'm going to have to read the full comic. Thank you for sharing!
--Jodi
So, thank you for your kind words. It means a lot.
Jesus died on the cross to conquer sin, and to reconcile us with God. Many people fail to realize that conquering sin does not mean everything is permissible and God will forgive us of everything on judgment day.
Your lifestyle is sinful and separate from God, though Jesus loves you He does not want this for you. Jesus constantly preached “repent, the kingdom of God is near” Repent essentially means to turn from a former passion. Have you done so? We see in both the Old and the New Testament that homosexuality is condemned by Gods law. (Among other sins, I do not discriminate!) Now Christ died so that you didn’t have to be consumed with lust for other women, or even other men! We must keep our minds and bodies pure. Jesus’s sacrifice does not apply to those who reject it and continue to live their selfish sin filled lives. He has called you to something better! Christ died for you, will you live for Him?
If you want to respond, I am open to talking! Please do not think this was written out of hate.
Paul did, but he is not Christ. We are Christians, not Paulians.
Jesus overcame death. The story of the crucifixion is His Resurrection, not his "death."
The definition of "sin" is simply "to miss the target." It's based on an archery term. The greatest sin is thinking & acting without love toward yourself and/or others.
Jesus loved people. He didn't care about form. He didn't care about race. He didn't care about gender. He didn't care about ability. He didn't care about personal fortune.
He didn't care about sexual preference, and it's laughable to think that He would.
"Love others as I have loved you." "You are the light of the world." "Blessed are the peacemakers." "The Kingdom of Heaven is within you." "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." "Love never fails."
Please refrain from using the Bible as a weapon. Jesus's message of love, forgiveness and INCLUSION is obvious.
Merry Christmas --
"God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy"
Yes exactly, Jesus is forgiveness, love, & acceptance.
There's really nothing that would suggest Jesus had any problem with sexuality. Or women, who were a keystone in his support. Or gays and lesbians.