Recently, New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote an op-ed piece about the "Haimish Line." The Haimish Line is an invisible line sometimes crossed when you go from spending less to spending more -- in doing so, Brooks contends, you often sacrifice warmth and connection to attain luxury and space. According to Brooks, "haimish" is a Yiddish word that suggests "warmth, domesticity and unpretentious conviviality."
An exclusive, white-tablecloth, four-star restaurant where servers disappear and diners are on their Blackberries would be north of the Haimish Line. A small, casual diner on the corner bustling with loud conversations from neighborhood folks talking over each other would be south of the Haimish Line. A new dorm building with a shiny, new, unused lounge would be north of the Haimish Line; the well-worn lounge of ratty furniture that students veer toward would be staunchly planted south of the Haimish Line. The Haimish Line even slices across neighborhoods: densely packed urban neighborhoods where kids run home from school and and people have stoop conversations versus spread-out suburbs of isolated living in separate homes and cars.
Brooks advises that we learn to spend our money well and stay south of the Haimish Line.
I found this essay so compelling because money often buys privacy, space, exclusivity and "luxury" -- all of which are the very opposite of "unpretentious conviviality." In America, the picture of success is a bigger house (where the family is more spread out), moving to the suburbs (with more distance between neighbors), a nicer car (to be more vigilant about spills in), and flying first class (ok, so some things are not worth getting all concerned about "the Haimish Line" over).
Seriously, though, there is something to be said for not unwittingly losing the warmth of "haimish" in our lives as we grow in our financial prosperity. Here are a few ways to spend your money well and stay south of the Haimish Line:
Buy a Smaller House
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I grew up in a modest house in the middle-class suburbs of North Jersey. We had neighbors all around us, just a few steps away over a row of bushes in one direction or another. We ran around the adjoining woods with the neighborhood kids, played kickball in the cul de sac, and had barbecue get-togethers in the summertime. When I left for college, my parents moved "on up" to a larger, more luxurious house in a wealthier neighborhood. The entryway had dramatic two-story high ceilings. The rooms (there were eight of them) were huge and echoing; some would stay unused for weeks at a time. The plot of land was bigger, the large, stately homes more spread out. Instead of dinners over each others' houses, neighbors exchanged waves from driveways before getting into their quiet European luxury cars and driving away.
I never grew to like my parents' second home: While it was bigger and "nicer," it lacked the haimish that makes a house a home, and a block a neighborhood. The next time you're financially ready to change your living situation, don't automatically assume bigger is better, or that a tonier neighborhood is the direction to move in. It may be what people expect, but consider the things that make you happy about your home--and buy south of the Haimish Line.
I grew up in a modest house in the middle-class suburbs of North Jersey. We had neighbors all around us, just a few steps away over a row of bushes in one direction or another. We ran around the adjoining woods with the neighborhood kids, played kickball in the cul de sac, and had barbecue get-togethers in the summertime. When I left for college, my parents moved "on up" to a larger, more luxurious house in a wealthier neighborhood. The entryway had dramatic two-story high ceilings. The rooms (there were eight of them) were huge and echoing; some would stay unused for weeks at a time. The plot of land was bigger, the large, stately homes more spread out. Instead of dinners over each others' houses, neighbors exchanged waves from driveways before getting into their quiet European luxury cars and driving away.
I never grew to like my parents' second home: While it was bigger and "nicer," it lacked the haimish that makes a house a home, and a block a neighborhood. The next time you're financially ready to change your living situation, don't automatically assume bigger is better, or that a tonier neighborhood is the direction to move in. It may be what people expect, but consider the things that make you happy about your home--and buy south of the Haimish Line.
I grew up in a modest house in the middle-class suburbs of North Jersey. We had neighbors all around us, just a few steps away over a row of bushes in one direction or another. We ran around the adjoining woods with the neighborhood kids, played kickball in the cul de sac, and had barbecue get-togethers in the summertime. When I left for college, my parents moved "on up" to a larger, more luxurious house in a wealthier neighborhood. The entryway had dramatic two-story high ceilings. The rooms (there were eight of them) were huge and echoing; some would stay unused for weeks at a time. The plot of land was bigger, the large, stately homes more spread out. Instead of dinners over each others' houses, neighbors exchanged waves from driveways before getting into their quiet European luxury cars and driving away.
I never grew to like my parents' second home: While it was bigger and "nicer," it lacked the haimish that makes a house a home, and a block a neighborhood. The next time you're financially ready to change your living situation, don't automatically assume bigger is better, or that a tonier neighborhood is the direction to move in. It may be what people expect, but consider the things that make you happy about your home--and buy south of the Haimish Line.
SLIDESHOW THUMBNAILS
Haimish living isn't about glorifying modest living or not enjoying the fruits of your labor. It's simply the idea that money should be well spent, to bring more satisfaction, fulfillment and warmth into our lives. Spending south of the Haimish Line is one sure way to do so.
A version of this post originally appeared on LearnVest.
Recently, New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote an op-ed piece about the "Haimish Line." The Haimish Line is an invisible line sometimes crossed when you go from spending less to spending more -...
Recently, New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote an op-ed piece about the "Haimish Line." The Haimish Line is an invisible line sometimes crossed when you go from spending less to spending more -...
Less is more. Americans are going to have to get used to this, whether they want to or not. Fortunately, as this article points out, there are many upsides to this.
Davi_Car: Less is more. Americans are going to have to get
To me, this article is another way of looking at "want vs. need," i.e. looking at cheaper options (the exception being the luxury items, but Maria points out the quality vs. cheap argument) in a positive light.
Yes, the economy sucks. Yes, people have had to tighten their belts, or go without. But does that mean everything has to be gloom-and-doom?
To each their own. I prefer to be a realist-optimist and see the glass as half-full, but will refill my glass.
gurke75: Wow. What's with the negative comments? To me, this article
My wife and I have incomes that puts us in the bottom 50% of all wage earners...Â.but our house and cars are paid for.....we have no debt.....aÂnd at age 50 we almost have enough savings to not work anymore unless we just want to. I'm sure there's a lot more "stuff" that we could have purchased over the years....bÂut for the life of me I can't think of anything we could have purchased that would have brought us as much joy as the joy we have in knowing that we only have to work if we want to!! I am a conservatiÂve Republican and yet I find myself in complete agreement with this liberal author. Please fellow posters...donÂ't fall for America's consumerisÂm....don't get into debt....anÂd always save a little out of each paycheck. You will be amazed just how satisfying it is to slowly build wealth over your working lifetime.
CollectiveNotIndividual: My wife and I have incomes that puts us in
"I found this essay so compelling because money often buys privacy, space, exclusivity and "luxury" -- all of which are the very opposite of "unpretentious conviviality."
So, how many people do you have bunking down at your house on a regular basis, Maria? Ready to open your place to the homeless, or do you prefer your privacy?
MochaLite: "I found this essay so compelling because money often buys
Great article, Maria, though we thought we'd buy a bigger house and let our friends bunk with us and eat around our big communal table, so we're following you. We're definitely sticking with Hermes ties though -- no pretentious upgrading there.
We need (and we not kidding about this) more women running things around the world. We suggest a woman CEO for scandal-ridden Olympus (www.WeWereWallStreet.com/Olympus-Senior-Citizen-Problem.html) and think a little more common sense and sanity and a little less machismo and money competition would be good for us all.
There. Don't tell our friends we said that.
WeWereWallStreet: Great article, Maria, though we thought we'd buy a bigger
"there is something to be said about not unwittingly losing the warmth in our lives as we grow our financial prosperity". Earth to Maria......food banks are running out of food, wages have been stagnant for 30 years, forclosed familys are living in their cars......that warm enough?
rnl52: "there is something to be said about not unwittingly losing
Talk about being out of touch! Except for a very small minority of Americans (oh, about 1 percent), most of us really don't have to worry about "spending money well" so much as surviving.
PopeRatzo: "How to spend money well"?? Talk about being out of
Looking around me, it seems like more than 1% of Americans who are spending on things that are about something other than "surviving". Much more than 1%. Have you ever spent much time in one of the poorer nations of the world? Go to Nicaragua and see what worrying about survival is like. That is emphatically not what 99% of Americans are dealing with.
Davi_Car: Looking around me, it seems like more than 1% of
To me, this article is another way of looking at "want vs. need," i.e. looking at cheaper options (the exception being the luxury items, but Maria points out the quality vs. cheap argument) in a positive light.
Yes, the economy sucks. Yes, people have had to tighten their belts, or go without. But does that mean everything has to be gloom-and-doom?
To each their own. I prefer to be a realist-optimist and see the glass as half-full, but will refill my glass.
So, how many people do you have bunking down at your house on a regular basis, Maria? Ready to open your place to the homeless, or do you prefer your privacy?
We need (and we not kidding about this) more women running things around the world. We suggest a woman CEO for scandal-ridden Olympus (www.WeWereWallStreet.com/Olympus-Senior-Citizen-Problem.html) and think a little more common sense and sanity and a little less machismo and money competition would be good for us all.
There. Don't tell our friends we said that.
Talk about being out of touch! Except for a very small minority of Americans (oh, about 1 percent), most of us really don't have to worry about "spending money well" so much as surviving.