The problem of bullying in our nation’s schools has been in the headlines again, in large part because of a heartbreaking series of recent tragedies: children and youths who took their lives after they were bullied or harassed because their peers believed they were gay. We need to immediately send a clear message to all our children that bullying and harassment for this or any other reason is simply not acceptable. At the same time, we need to make sure that every child knows she or he is a gift from God and feels loved and accepted and valued the way they are.
President Obama was one of the thousands of people who recently chose to record a video statement for the “It Gets Better” Project, started in September by journalist Dan Savage who is collecting and posting messages of hope and encouragement to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youths who might be experiencing harassment or bullying or feeling isolated and desperate right now. The President said, “We’ve got to dispel the myth that bullying is just a normal rite of passage – that it’s some inevitable part of growing up. It’s not. We have an obligation to ensure that our schools are safe for all of our kids. And to every young person out there, you need to know that if you’re in trouble, there are caring adults who can help... You are not alone. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t do anything to deserve being bullied. And there is a whole world waiting for you, filled with possibilities. There are people out there who love you and care about you just the way you are... The other thing you need to know is, things will get better.
It will get better -- and adults need to do everything possible to be sure that for these youths and all other children and teens who are being bullied or harassed today, it gets better right now. Earlier this year, the first—ever Federal National Bullying Summit was held in Washington, DC, sponsored by the Federal Partners in Bullying Prevention Steering Committee, a collaboration between the United States Departments of Education, Health and Human Services, Agriculture, Interior, and Justice. In his opening remarks Secretary of Education Arne Duncan noted that in 2007 nearly one out of three students in middle school and high school said they had been bullied at school during the school year, and one out of nine secondary school students, or 2.8 million students, said they had been pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on during the last school year. Secretary Duncan made clear that the government is committed to enforcing laws against harassment wherever they apply and doing all else possible to keep schools and students safe. The Administration has already planned several next steps for the coming months, including a White House conference on bullying early next year and a series of workshops the Department of Education will hold for educators across the country.
The Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights recently reminded school districts that harassment based on race, color, national origin, sex, or disability violates federal civil rights laws, so in every instance where a school “knows or reasonably should have known” about this kind of harassment, it has the responsibility under federal law to end the harassment, eliminate any hostile environment and its effects, and prevent the harassment from recurring. Schools have this responsibility even if the misconduct is already covered under the school’s discipline policy, and regardless of whether a student has complained, asked the school to take action, or identified the harassment as discriminatory. Adults must simply take charge—as Assistant Secretary of Education for Civil Rights Russlyn Ali put it, it is the school’s responsibility to “stop it, fix it, and prevent it.”
But bullying can take many forms, for many reasons—and bullying that does not violate these specific federal guidelines is still serious, dangerous, and wrong. The Department of Education outlined a list of negative effects of bullying and harassment: lowered academic achievement and aspirations; increased anxiety; loss of self-esteem and confidence; depression and post-traumatic stress; general deterioration in physical health; self-harm and suicidal thinking; feelings of alienation in the school environment, such as fear of other children; and absenteeism from school. In an age where technology is making cyberbullying and other new kinds of harassment an even more widespread threat, it is more important than ever that all adults -- starting with every single parent -- be sure our children understand that any kind of bullying is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Studies show many youths who bully others have been mistreated themselves but even this can never be an excuse. It must simply add to the urgency we all feel about stopping the cycle right now.
Find out what you can do to end bullying in your community by visiting the Stop Bullying Now campaign website.
Follow Marian Wright Edelman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ChildDefender
Why are babies prevented from learning words? 56% of adults believe babies can't read. My daughter Yma says, "Reading helps you speak because words are words." YBCR taught them to read independantly. The power to read! Given to babies, it is control.. Control over words and thereby a way to communicate, interact, and state a view. Babies can get their needs met when they are still babies. Before the frustration, anger, and resentment sets in from not being heard...
It takes a village to raise a child. No baby left behind!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1wBdqWJllE&feature=related
What isn't being said here, is that IT DOESN'T GET BETTER. And your gay children SEE THAT. They see that when they finally DO get to leave school, THEY WILL FACE THE SAME TREATMENT FROM ADULTS. They will be beaten in the streets. They will be spit upon in public. They will be told that they can not marry. They can not serve their country, and that in 30 states, they can lose their job and their home for being gay.
So really, WHEN does it get better and FOR WHOM, exactly???
Seriously, if we can not even have an H-O-N-E-S-T conversation about what is going on in this country, how in the hell do we expect our children to stop their violence and hatred toward gay citizens, WHEN THE ADULTS PARTICIPATE IN THIS BEHAVIOR right along-side their children.
I have yet to hear an intellectually honest discussion on this matter. Bullying isn't a child's problem, IT'S AN ADULT ONE.
They are learning this by watching American adults, and how most of YOU treat gay citizens. Your refusal to acknowledge this assures that many, many more children will die. And it seems that if contained to gay children, YOU DON'T REALLY CARE.
Dr. Dragan is a school law and safety expert. His book, "The Bully Action Guide: How to Help Your Child and How to Get the School to Listen" is being published by Palgrave Macmillan in the spring. www.edmgt.com
I tried to have a motion placed which would have forced our schools to move the bully if a child had to leave the school as a solution but the men around the table actually began to give reasons why the bullying is just "boys will be boys" behavior. The boys in the last case brought to us before I brought the motion had urinated on a classmate multiple times over the course of a year. They would push him into the bathroom and relieve themselves on him, leaving him ashamed and needing to go home but the only solution the principal had was to suggest the boy change schools and "man up".
Kids who bully are often children of bullies. When I'd meet their parents in a disciplinary hearing, they'd never understand what their kid did was wrong. Things that would have horrified me as a parent didn't phase them so expecting these parents to stop the chain of violence is never going to work. My kids both have stepped in to stop bullies and I'm proud of that but it's not a solution.. stronger & consistent consequences will help more.
Jdaddy1951 2 hours ago (7:22 AM)
516 Fans
Become a fan
Unfan
Follow
Which is why I say give 'em one warning before expulsion, one warning before firing, one warning before jail. It gives them a choice of changing their behavior.
The article that the previous reader linked to was full of so much "let's study the issue" rhetoric. It's attitudes like that which have allowed bullies to thrive for generations. "Studying the issue" is a copout approach, a way of saying, "Let;s just make the problem go away." Let's kick the bullies' backsides OUT of society. I bet that allows their victims to get on with their lives. And THAT's more important than "trying to UNDERSTAND" the bullies.,
To bring the conversation back up to the front of the page.
Having worked at the APA I am aware of and just as frustrated with the "Let's look at this more" attitude. At least in the department I was in there was a lot of talk, and seemingly little action. However that task force was completed and did have some recommendations that I think we agree upon.
Have strict rules, but allow the administrators the choice and opportunity to interpret and have a little flex in the rules. This flex will allow them to account for the circumstances around the incident. All I am saying is that a true Zero Tolerance policy is too strict and does not allow for circumstances to be accounted for.
May I point you to: http://www.apa.org/pubs/info/reports/zero-tolerance.aspx
The bullies need to be taught not only that what they have done is wrong, but also WHY. I am NOT saying that we should not punish the bullies. What I am saying is that we need a better approach than zero tolerance.
Zero tolerance now. It's a language these morons that bully understand.
Our other approach has always seemed to be a blame the victim one. Moving a child who is different enough to draw the ire of bullies from school to school while giving the bullies a slap on the wrist for behavior that would have them jailed as adults, often leading to kids who are jailed as adults because their anti-social behavior was reinforced instead of punished.
I'm a big fan of the It Gets Better videos but I think it can get better right away with consistent and strong consequences for anyone who's bullying. A bully who is suspended should be given a full course load to complete while away from school and the parents should be tasked with teaching them. Placing the responsibility for anti-social behavior and the education of bullies on the shoulders of the bully and their parents will do much more than the few days of vacation from school do at the moment.