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Marianne T. Duddy-Burke

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Religious Liberty vs. Same-Sex Marriage: Is There Really a Conflict?

Posted: 05/18/11 08:55 AM ET

As the campaign to legalize same-sex civil marriage gains momentum across the country, opponents are employing new tactics to defend the status quo. Chief among those is the claim that legalizing same-sex marriage will infringe on the religious freedom of those who oppose the practice on theological grounds.

As a both a devout Catholic and a supporter of marriage equality, I would like to believe that the rights of my more conservative co-religionists and my lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender friends can be reconciled through careful legislative draftsmanship. However, the bishops of my church and their allies have demonstrated no interest in reconciliation. Rather, they have taken an uncompromising stand based on principles that they readily ignore at other times, and blurred the distinction between freedom and entitlement in troubling ways.

To be taken seriously, appeals to religious freedom must be rooted in consistent teaching and practice. The arguments advanced by opponents of marriage equality do not meet this standard.The Catholic Church, for instance, recognizes only marriages conducted under its own auspices. It does not recognize marriage after divorce, unless the partner seeking to remarry has obtained an annulment. By Catholic standards, then, most of the marriages in this country are null and void.

Yet the bishops, bankrolled in large measure by the Knights of Columbus, have spent millions of dollars to keep gay and lesbian couples and their children from achieving equality under American law, while maintaining a discreet silence about the rights of heterosexuals whose marriages do not conform to church teaching. It is easy to grasp the political reality that informs this strategy: gays and lesbians are few, while what the church regards as unsanctioned marriages are legion. But in deploying arguments rooted in religious liberty only when they are politically advantageous, the bishops have diminished the currency in which they trade.

Religious conservatives also argue that they will no longer be able to help provide essential social services if they are forced to treat same-sex couples in the same way that they treat other clients. They cannot, in good conscience, offer adoption or housing to same-sex couples, they argue, and if compelled to do so, would have to cease providing such services entirely. Intentionally or otherwise, opponents of same-sex marriage present public officials with a choice between marginalized populations -- the poor and the orphaned on one side, lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people on the other.

But my bishops and their allies are not being forced to conform to laws they find morally repugnant. Rather, they are being asked to decide whether they will continue to accept significant government subsidies that come with certain strings attached. Religious organizations that do not accept such funding do not have to abandon their ministries to the poor and the needy. They can follow the lead of the Mormons -- or our own Catholic history -- and finance their ministries themselves. Nor will their refusal of government subsidies fray the social safety net, as other less ideologically rigid groups, which already compete for the same grants, will take up the slack.

In the literature on religious liberty and same-sex marriage cited by religious conservatives, several cases stand out. These tend to involve a small businessperson who has been sued for refusing to provide services at the wedding, or commitment celebration of a gay or lesbian couple. In reading these cases, one is struck first by the wish that everyone involved had used better judgment, and second by how the use of a high-flown term like religious liberty distracts from the wild asymmetry of what is at stake for the various parties. Perorations on the First Amendment notwithstanding, opponents of marriage equality are arguing that same-sex couples should be denied the emotional and legal benefits of marriage to spare theologically conservative bakers the ordeal of making them wedding cakes.

One would like to think that sufficient protections for pious cakesmiths and other interested parties could be written into law if religious conservatives were clear and candid about the ways in which their freedom might be infringed. But such clarity would open a path to the speedy legalization of same-sex marriage, and so my bishops and their allies play the victim card instead. In doing so, they demonstrate that they are not interested in protecting liberties, but in denying them.

Marianne Duddy-Burke is executive director of DignityUSA, a member of the Equally Blessed, a coalition of Catholic groups that work on behalf of LGBT people and their families.

 
As the campaign to legalize same-sex civil marriage gains momentum across the country, opponents are employing new tactics to defend the status quo. Chief among those is the claim that legalizing same...
As the campaign to legalize same-sex civil marriage gains momentum across the country, opponents are employing new tactics to defend the status quo. Chief among those is the claim that legalizing same...
 
 
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08:20 PM on 05/24/2011
It's one thing to stop sending the police after 'gays;' it's another to start sending them after people whose sexual identity is 'other than gay.' Why bother? Let the 'gay' couple find another baker and pay him (or her) money, instead of the baker who wants nothing to do with them. Keep the bureaucrats, courts and police out of it. Let freedom of sexual association prevail.
12:09 AM on 05/24/2011
As a straight, engaged ally, as a Christian voice for LGBT rights including the right to marry, marriage is a civil right and not a heterosexual privilege. All religious traditions should be able to perform marriages as their tradition dictates. My denomination, the United Church of Christ (UCC) was the first denomination to ordain God's gay and lesbian children and to advocate for equal marriage rights. God's gay and lesbian children should be able to marry the person they love and have their marriage recognized by the state.
01:08 PM on 05/23/2011
As a minister in the U.S., given this climate, I tend to lean towards having everyone marry civilly first (that's assuming that all have the same protections and rights as a couple, no matter what their sex). Then they can come and marry in my church if they wish to. If they don't want to marry in a church because that's not their tradition, fine. I'm more concerned with equal civil rights for all.

But if a church doesn't want to marry a same-sex couple, they shouldn't have to. To force it leads to a nasty situation for all concerned. Perhaps there needs to be some protection in place for those instances, to protect from lawsuits. But there also has to be awareness of alternatives. Many churches perform marriage/commitment ceremonies. You have to do your homework to find them. Start with the Episcopal Church, Unitarians, some Disciples of Christ congregations, and the United Church of Christ.

We perform commitment ceremonies for same-sex couples and it's a delight and a joy! I look forward to the day when same-sex marriage is again legal in my state.

I probably have way more issues with the society bride who wants to book the facility because it looks like a real church and will make a great photo setting. :-/
07:49 PM on 05/23/2011
looks like a real church but isn't
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HotelDrama
08:39 PM on 05/22/2011
There is no conflict. Marriage for same sex couples doesn't infringe on anyone else. It doesn't force any individual to accept that marriage. It only gives them the same rights and privileges that the rest of us have.
And why are we even talking about the Catholic Church? Don't they have their own issues of dealing with their worldwide systemic problem of their own people molesting, abusing and raping children? Once the Church empties the Vatican coffers and gives that money to all their victims, and those responsible for carrying about the abuse and covering it up get arrested and spend time in prison, then we can start to listen to what they want to say. Until then, they don't deserve a voice.
01:13 AM on 05/24/2011
There are many good Catholics, the problem with the Catholic Church is the celibacy rule. Who do you think these molesters and abusers of children are? Many are gay men who are wolves in sheep clothing, and became priest dragging the church down. The Church leaders knew this but did not act on it because they needed priest to sever. God will judge these men that abused children.
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a okafor007
Black Atheist from New Jersey
01:18 AM on 05/22/2011
What the heck is "religious liberty" there is nothing free about religion. They believe that an invisible skydaddy will doom them to hell by pissing him off. What "freedom" is that?
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TeraWatt60
Cogito Ergo Sum
05:42 PM on 05/21/2011
Civil marriage contracts should bend to religious zealots because...??  What this bullchit boils down to is that so called "religious" people want the state to make them comfortable with their bi.gotry...that is something they just like the other "teachings" of their respective faiths they will simply have to get over...things like expecting a woman to marry her rapist.

Under the reasoning that a picture is worth a thousand words here is a brief synopsis of "Bible based marriage"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFkeKKszXTw
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
07:31 AM on 05/22/2011
Very well said! Wish I could fan you again, but I will definitely fave you. All this caterwauling about "religious liberty" is the desire of a group of religious zealots wishing to force their religious beliefs into law.

My religion, paganism, would gladly offer legal marriage to same-sex couples, but cannot because of discriminatory laws. Where is THEIR religious liberty?
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TeraWatt60
Cogito Ergo Sum
09:32 AM on 05/22/2011
Blessed Be! and you are right the only "religious liberty" these self-appointed "guardians of truth" (truthiness?) is their version of Christianity
03:58 PM on 05/21/2011
The Roman Catholic Hierarchy may have their cassocks in an knot over same sex marriage, but many Catholics do not. I have seen priests preside or give blessings at commitment ceremonies.

However, while the average Catholic thinks that birth control is an individual's choice, that same sex marriages can contribute to the betterment of the world, that people should be able to marry and participate as a religious, and a host of other reforms, no one is driving us out of our churches. The American Catholic hierarchy hid horrible pedophiles by sending them to different parishes instead of submitting them to justice. No one is telling the average Catholic that any human creation is without flaw.

There are Catholics who are married in God's eyes, even if not in our Church. Same sex marriages will probably be allowed after married men are allowed to become priest, but before women can do the same.

Meanwhile, when I die, if there is God and an afterlife, I plan to take great pleasure in kicking St. Paul's woman- hating ass.
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almostlyniceguy
Not young enough to know everything..
05:19 AM on 05/23/2011
Quite saucy at the end, and to the point.

There are some married priests, you know. The Pope has approved many; I was taught theology in a Catholic university by a married priest. He was married and a minister before he converted. He was quite normal, and when I talked with him it was usually about running shoes.
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Ytrus
''it's a map''
02:40 PM on 05/21/2011
All churches should be stripped of the right to preside over marriages. Government and religion should not mix, and this is a case where there is clear conflict between secular law and religious law.
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bbertaud
Je ne regrette rien, rien de rien
07:45 PM on 05/21/2011
That is the case in many European and Latin American countries, where only the civil marriage is legally recognized and couples must marry FIRST in front of a judge, city councilor or a specific figure of civil authority and then they can have their religion ceremony, if at all
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TeraWatt60
Cogito Ergo Sum
09:36 AM on 05/22/2011
J'aime ton "mini-bio"  etes-vous Français? You are absolutely correct and for this very reason the Latin American and European nations did not want interference from the Church(s) in any civil function. Mexico and others won't even let them own land except directly beneath their buildings
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Trismegistus22
Crescat virtus per certaminem.
09:31 PM on 05/23/2011
The clergy enjoy the PRIVILEGE of performing civil marriage. It is not their right.
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almostlyniceguy
Not young enough to know everything..
05:23 AM on 05/23/2011
That is the way it is in China.

As long as the priest/minister/rabbi is there only to witness and officiate as a proxy for the government, he/she should abide by the marriage laws of the state.
Dan FL
Watching the Dream die. With popcorn.
01:43 PM on 05/21/2011
What, exactly, does personal religious liberty have to do with imposing one's religious views on the rest of us?

People against two consenting adults entering into a contract need to learn to mind their own business.
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ez duz it
οá½Îº ἔστιν θεός
03:45 PM on 05/21/2011
Hi, Dan FL--

When you say, "People against two consenting adults entering into a contract need to learn to mind their own business," I totally agree with you.

Because the anti-Gay christianists believe it IS their business, I feel it's important to take them to task. I used to be one of them until I came out about 33 years ago. I may not be able to change their bias, but I refuse to let their bigotry in the name of God go unchallenged.

Oh, I almost forgot to say, “Fanned and Faved!â€

--ez
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Trismegistus22
Crescat virtus per certaminem.
09:35 PM on 05/23/2011
Good point.
Too often we succumb to the american adage that everyone is entitled to their opinion. But when their opinion, as you point out, is about how you or I may live our own private lives,they have gone too far.
The christianists are taking over so much of our nation and imposing their will on the rest of us. Not content with being anti-gay, they are anti-science, anti-choice, etc.
03:49 PM on 05/21/2011
Oh, okay, whatever you say.

But I'm bi-sexual...today, anyway...so why can't I marry a man and a woman? I was born this way, I'm sure, and if I'm not sure I'm very sure I can find some "scientist" to say I was.
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bbertaud
Je ne regrette rien, rien de rien
07:48 PM on 05/21/2011
You can marry a man and a woman...divorce Ann first and then you can marry Frank..and then divorce Frank, and marry Cynthia, and divorce Cynthia and marry Ted..and so forth...one at a time...is that so hard for you to understand?
ThinkCreeps
Seriously, it's time.
02:48 PM on 05/22/2011
Fairly obviously, oh unknowing one.

The same reason you can't marry two women: because the legal protections of marriage break down when it's not a couple. For different reasons you can't marry a child, an adult whose business is in the hand of a conservator, or an animal - because they are unable to consent.
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oldwarhorse
USCG SEMPER PARATUS
04:51 AM on 05/21/2011
Neither side is going to cave on this one, however it does make good posting fodder. Not that I give a rip one way or the other, but it does make for some intereting reading.
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bbertaud
Je ne regrette rien, rien de rien
07:50 PM on 05/21/2011
Same sex marriages are more than posting fodder...they are a reality in many countries...you see, reading international news can come handy sometimes.
01:25 PM on 05/20/2011
I agree Mike and with all you smiley faces. And. I want to have two wives. I'm pushing that medieval belief of just one wife to the cave wall. I think my ancestors the caveman, the pack leader, had all the cavewomen, he wanted. I want the same thing. Grunting around and bossing them about to prepare dinner. It's in my nature. I want to kill game. Build big fires. Sleep under wooly blanket. Konk whomever tries to steal my wives over the head with a big stick until some stronger, smarter cave buck kills me. You go mike. Maybe, if you get what you want I'll get what I want.
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mikevab
I'm a concerned citizen, 23 year vet. US Navy
10:24 AM on 05/20/2011
No law related to Marriage Equality can, nor should it be able to force any religious group to perform a religious rite that goes against their beliefs. Laws govern Civil Marriage ONLY!!! So to all the Religious folks out there, You stay out of our Civil Rights and we'll stay out of your Religious Rites.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
04:06 AM on 05/21/2011
Fanned and faved! I can't see ANY self-respecting same-sex couple wanting some hater church to marry them.
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MsMcgee
08:46 AM on 05/20/2011
Here’s a question for all the religious people who claim that allowing anyone to “gay marry†is an infringement on their religious freedom.

Can you explain how your religious belief is not an infringement on the rights of gay people to marry?

Telling gay people they can’t marry because it’s against “your†religion is no different than Jews telling Christians they can’t believe in Jesus because it’s against “their†religion.

Which part of that is not understood?
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DTOM1776
Veritas Liberabit Vos
10:25 AM on 05/20/2011
Greetings MsMcgee

There is no "right" for marriage.
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MsMcgee
10:55 AM on 05/20/2011
I beg to differ. Marriage is a legal institution and people have the right to marry whom ever they please. To discriminate against anyone because “you†don’t approve of his or her choice of partner is arrogant in the extreme. Would I have the right to tell you who you could or could not marry, regardless of gender? Whoever anyone decides to marry is no one else’s business except the couple getting married.
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MarkInIrvine
fuzzy-headed knee-jerk liberal and proud of it
01:08 PM on 05/20/2011
we'll be right over to tear up your marriage certificate and forcibly separate you and your spouse ... please let us know how you like it
03:43 PM on 05/21/2011
You do not have to belong to any religious group to vote against same sex marriage.

Your problem, like so many on the left, is the reference material some use to make up their minds. I'm sure I would object to the crazed nonsensical writings you might use to make up your mind on the issues.

Not much can be done to regulate how people reach their conclusions.
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Brad Blumenstock
05:02 PM on 05/21/2011
"crazed nonsensical writings"

As in the Constitution's Equal Protection clause?
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MarkInIrvine
fuzzy-headed knee-jerk liberal and proud of it
10:23 PM on 05/22/2011
there is no rational basis for preventing people who want to marry from doing so - read the US District Court trial court decision in the challenge to Prop 8 - the proponents of Prop 8 ended conceding that the goals which they articulated as being served by Prop 8 were actually better served by allowing same-gender people to marry ...
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ydnas639
I want my country forward
07:37 AM on 05/20/2011
I'm tired of cafeteria Christians shoving anyone around based on their beliefs.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
12:35 AM on 05/20/2011
Would all the haters on here like to tell me what about the rights of those religions that would gladly offer same sex couples LEGAL marriage but cannot do so because of things like DOMA. What about THEIR religious rights?
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
03:32 AM on 05/20/2011
Three hours or so and no takers? Thought so. Another questions haters don't want to take on.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
07:42 AM on 05/22/2011
And now we are to two days and counting...why am I not surprised?