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There Is No Excuse

Posted: 04/24/2012 8:25 am

Italy, 1992. A 45-year-old driving instructor picks up an 18-year-old girl for her first lesson, takes her to an isolated road, pulls her out of the car, wrestles her out of one leg of her jeans and rapes her. She courageously tells her parents. They help and support her in pressing charges, leading to the perpetrator's arrest and prosecution. He is convicted of rape and sentenced to jail.

He appeals. The case reaches the Italian Supreme Court, which overturns his sentence and releases him. "Because the victim wore very, very tight jeans," the Court notes in their decision, "she had to help him remove them, and by removing the jeans it was no longer rape but consensual sex."

For people around the world appalled by the way criminal justice systems treat survivors of sexual assault, the judges' words became a rallying cry. Within hours, the women in Italy's Parliament organized a protest: they wore jeans to work. Not long after, California's State Legislature wore jeans to their legislative session. And in April of 1999, during Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Peace Over Violence held the first official Denim Day in Los Angeles. Denim Day now spans the nation and has grown into a powerful national movement about sexual assault prevention and education. A movement committed to empowerment.

But today, on the eve of Denim Day 2012, the same pernicious myths, misconceptions and victim-blaming attitudes that motivated the first Denim Day persist. Experts agree that these myths contribute heavily to the stark realities of sexual violence in the United States: nearly one in five women will experience sexual assault in her lifetime; most rapes are never reported; and only an estimated 6% of perpetrators ever spend a day in jail.

For proof, look no further than last month's headlines.

While a 25-year-old woman waited for her ride to work, Michael Pena, an off-duty New York City police officer, approached her, displayed his 9mm pistol, led her across the street to a courtyard and sexually assaulted her at gunpoint. Though he was convicted on three counts of predatory sexual assault, the jury deadlocked on the gravest charge: rape. Despite unwavering testimony from the victim, multiple 911 calls from a witness who reported the attack -- and evidence that showed three separate acts of oral and anal contact with Mr. Pena's penis -- the jury held out on a rape conviction. Why? Because they doubted her memory -- she failed to recall that a car was parked in the driveway Pena led her across -- and because when police officers arrived on the scene, she ran towards the male police officer rather than the female officer.

She didn't remember. She should have behaved differently afterwards. The misconceptions are beyond dismaying, and the rape myths are many. There's the myth that by wearing a particular piece of clothing, a victim invited a rape, or made it "easy." "Safety from rapists" focuses on the stranger in the street, with little attention paid to acts perpetrated behind closed doors by those we know and trust. And the burden to alter behavior is placed on the survivor, and not where it belongs: with the way society responds to survivors -- and with perpetrators.

The way our society thinks about rape and receives survivors is not only tragic, it's dangerous. Fearing that they won't be believed, survivors are less likely to report their rapes, which means rapists stay out of jail, which means they are free to rape again.

Denim Day is about coming together as a community that has no tolerance for sexual violence, a community that commits its resources -- intellectual, financial, emotional -- to responding differently to survivors and making their healing a priority.

Last year, Denim Day reached 2.6 million participants. Our goal for this year's 13th Annual Denim Day is to surpass that number. And with our collective voices and commitment, we can. In New York City, for example, a coalition of organizations and agencies has come together to bring Denim Day into schools, streets and beyond to engage both adults and youth with activities and workshops in all five boroughs.

Our goal is to inspire more partnerships that drive this campaign, like the one between Peace Over Violence and Joyful Heart. Our goal is to inspire courageous, transparent, accountable leadership within the many institutions that have failed to acknowledge and respond to sexual violence -- schools, corporations, places of worship, families.

Our goal is to inspire you. We hope you will join people across the country tomorrow who will be wearing jeans as a show of their confidence in the power of an enlightened, courageous community that stands together and declares: "There is no excuse for and never an invitation to rape."

To register as part of the Denim Day community and for more information and materials about Denim Day, visit www.denimdayusa.org and facebook.com/denimdayinlaandusa.

Mariska Hargitay is the Emmy-award winning star of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit on NBC and the founder of the Joyful Heart Foundation. Joyful Heart's mission is to heal, educate and empower survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse, and to shed light into the darkness that surrounds these issues. Mariska can be seen on Law & Order: SVU Wednesdays, 10 p.m. ET on NBC.

Patti Giggans in the Executive Director of Los Angeles-based Peace Over Violence and founder of Denim Day. Peace Over Violence is dedicated to building healthy relationships, families and communities free from sexual, domestic and interpersonal violence.

 
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Italy, 1992. A 45-year-old driving instructor picks up an 18-year-old girl for her first lesson, takes her to an isolated road, pulls her out of the car, wrestles her out of one leg of her jeans and r...
Italy, 1992. A 45-year-old driving instructor picks up an 18-year-old girl for her first lesson, takes her to an isolated road, pulls her out of the car, wrestles her out of one leg of her jeans and r...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rewith85man
Expressing Who I Am
02:02 AM on 04/27/2012
I am surprised that Mariska Hargitay is the author of this article. Now, I know that it is really worth reading.

Even though there is so much injustice and destruction in this world, God will clean it up and give all the victims total justice. It does not matter what people, especially those who are wicked, do anyway. They have the time and free will to do what they want - for now.
04:12 PM on 05/06/2012
No religious divinity will stop this from happening. People will always commit these type of crimes, even if they never get caught. There will always be bad people in this world like it or not.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MysticInd
01:36 AM on 04/27/2012
I'm with you in spirit! Atlas they do not make jeans that fit me in my size.
04:00 PM on 04/26/2012
Rape is on a level with murder and kidnapping; the only crime I consider more heinous is child molestation. Most of the times in these crimes the victim has done nothing to precipitate the crime and the perpetator should get the death penaly or maybe in the case of rape have his or her sexual apendages removed. However when a woman dresses or acts in a way that is inapropriate she too has a responsibility for the crime. This does not mean tht the perp should not be tried, convicted and sentanced as if there was no difference from any other rape. Like walking through a crime infested area with $100.00 bills hanging out of his or her pockets is pretty stupid it doesn't make theft okay As for wearing jeans; what good willthat do? Better to form a group like MADD and pressure judges and prosecutors to treat rape as the heinous crime it is regardless of any 'extenuating" circumstances.
09:09 PM on 04/26/2012
Define “inappropriate”. Leaving the house? Taking a driving lesson? Daring to exist while in possession of a vagina?

There is nothing a woman (or man for that matter) could ever do that would make raping them ok. Nothing. Ever.

The point of wearing jeans it to demonstrate to people that the victim is not to blame.

But you are correct, I don’t think it will do a lot of good. People are much more comfortable blaming the victim because if you believe that only bad things happen to bad people, you are more likely to be safe.
01:49 AM on 04/28/2012
I didn't say that improper dress justified rape; in fact I said it didn't. If you believe that inapropriate dress or action that is designed to sexually arouse the opposite or for that matter the same sex,such a woman showing half or more of her breasts or ass won't turn on deviates you need to get your head out of your --- uh the ground.
01:42 PM on 04/27/2012
The issue with some of these cases is the jury....so we must educate and remind everyone. There is NO EXCUSE.
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05:52 AM on 04/26/2012
What we as a society don't know about how the brain works in males and females under threat is a lot. The science is there, the information needs to be widely spread.
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MJinCanada
Safe from zombies until my 2nd cup of coffee
03:19 PM on 04/29/2012
Exactly. One young woman who was assaulted in a park said the attack shocked her so much that it took her almost too long to remember that she had a black belt in martial arts and could clean the attacker's clock. Surprise is a big weapon in a sexual offender's arsenal.
03:16 AM on 04/26/2012
The use of the word as a popular modern slang term amongst the current youth generation further diminishes the seriousness of the act and its meaning. You really dont want to know how many times I have heard young local middle-school'ers use the term during casual conversation. Its become a 'spice' term for outdoing/outperforming another person, its the declaration of a positive victory. It damages the true meaning of the word, and through that, diminished its meaning and the seriousness with which it will be approached.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mindy Czech
Cindy's wife for life.
07:10 PM on 04/25/2012
I've been sexually assaulted on multiple occasions by more than one person. One of those happened when I was eleven, and was by another female of the same age. I kept it a secret as long as I could, until it all bubbled over the surface. When they went to investigate this, they ended up dismissing it as "sexual exploration", even though there were other girls she did the same thing to. It made me, in the sixth grade, totally lose faith in the justice system. When sexually assaulted after that, I never went forward because I knew it would never go anywhere and because I feared they could possibly use the incident as an eleven-year-old against me. (Like a girl who cried wolf thing, even though I was actually victimized.) The treatment of rape and sexual assault victims in this country, by both law enforcement and our peers, is just astounding. Sexual violence is a terrible thing, an act of terrorism even. I had people see me get pushed against lockers and have my chest/butt/crotch get grabbed at by my worst bully in high school, and instead of coming to my defense, they laughed and called me awful names. I used to dismiss the idea that we live in a rape culture, but I'm now convinced that it exists and we live smack dab in the middle of it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MoNeek
THINK...its not illegal yet
03:49 PM on 04/26/2012
and yet now, by other posts I have read of yours, you are in a loving relationshiop and have managed to somehow rise above it (not that I'm sure you will ever forget)

my cudos and blessings to you for your couragous and enduring spirit
01:48 PM on 04/25/2012
This is just stupid. This doesn't raise awareness because most people aren't going to ask "Why are you wearing jeans today" and you'd be hard pressed to convince me that awareness is really an issue. People know about intimate partner violence, they just dont make it a priority.

You're better off donating to local advocate agencies or talking to a youth group about respect. Teach your sons how to be safe and how to talk about their feelings (because 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 10) and when they're older explain explain that having sex with a drunk person is pretty damn close to rape (if not legally rape in your state).

Unless you spend the day striving for change and engaging dialogue you might as well forget the day exists.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MoNeek
THINK...its not illegal yet
03:51 PM on 04/26/2012
so sad/bad u feel this way...days of awareness such as this DO make people inquire into the issue at hand..and that in and of itself is education on the matter. Dont be so judgemental or fast to dismiss the actions of others or their outcome..
02:09 PM on 04/27/2012
don't knock peoples' positive efforts, its a first start....what can you do to help??
12:53 PM on 04/25/2012
If Romney wins we can expect these kind of injustices to increase 30 fold. He encourages misogyny.
06:19 PM on 04/25/2012
Oh, really? How so?
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goatini
We are two-legged wombs, that’s all
11:38 PM on 04/25/2012
It's one of the core tenets of his faith
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
playflute2
flootz
12:11 PM on 04/25/2012
Thank you both. I'm wearing my denim today.
09:52 AM on 04/25/2012
An Inspired post. We need to overhaul the system when it comes to the courts and women traumatized by rape. We need to draw a hard line in the sand and justice must be served.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Claireify
Annoying grammar geek.
03:38 AM on 04/25/2012
Wonderful, thoughtful, well written piece by Mariska. Wish even half of the women of America would see this.
10:09 PM on 04/24/2012
Rape is more like a plague and is present in all corners of the world. In Africa the numbers are alarming. In my country, recently, the high court judicial acquitted some men accused of rape because the victim had loose morals. The decision caused outrage and indignation in society. After a rape is always a vile act and unworthy and nobody deserves it. It hurts the dignity of human beings and leaves scars that will never be forgotten. We must fight it vehemently. Nothing justifies it.

Actress Mariska Hargitay is now a social activist who deserves all the applause and solidadriedade. She broke the boundaries of her character Olivia Benson and brought to reality the subject as difficult and complex. His Foundation has served more than five thousand people (men and women), giving them moral and spiritual support. This is another of the reasons that makes this beautiful actress, one of the most beloved celebrities.

Sorry for my English.
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agness nutter
What fresh hell is this?
02:12 AM on 04/25/2012
No need at all to apologize for your English - it's better than that of most posters here, and it's a good post. Thanks.
01:31 PM on 04/25/2012
Thank you. You are very kind
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MoNeek
THINK...its not illegal yet
03:52 PM on 04/26/2012
I agree...beautiful post and well said..in any language F&F
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Wistfulslinking
World traveller, bon-vivant, writer..
08:47 PM on 04/24/2012
Silly premise. Those who work can't break dress code as a political statement.

This won't stop rape, but it will cause thousands of women be written up for HR departments.

Hargitay is out of touch with working women.
10:17 PM on 04/24/2012
It seems to me that you did not understand the article.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Wistfulslinking
World traveller, bon-vivant, writer..
12:46 AM on 04/25/2012
I understood it perfectly.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Wistfulslinking
World traveller, bon-vivant, writer..
01:09 AM on 04/25/2012
I didn't say I would personally mind, however, it's obvious millions of companies would not allow unprofessional clothing as a political display on their time.

For example, do you really believe the employees who wear uniforms will allow this? NO.
Or law firms and courts allow jeans in court?
NO.

Solidarity would be better reached if the garment chosen was worn on a weekend or able to be worn by ALL. More people should think logically, as do I.
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guendy
Above all, peace and freedom
12:15 AM on 04/25/2012
Luckily not all think like you. My employer sent out an email to over 40,000 employees encouraging us to wear jeans on Denim Day.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MoNeek
THINK...its not illegal yet
03:53 PM on 04/26/2012
Good for u and your forward thinking compnay!!
06:45 PM on 04/24/2012
I will wear my tightest jeans!!
06:01 PM on 04/24/2012
i'm sad to say it, but as long as there are men, I think there will be rape. Society seems to encourage it.
01:19 AM on 04/25/2012
So, women don't rape?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Claireify
Annoying grammar geek.
03:49 AM on 04/25/2012
All men have over us is brute strength and a cornucopia of Viagra. So get to those self defense classes, ladies and let's get that bill passed that puts the same rules in place for ED as for contraception. Since that's the way they want to play the game.