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Mark Banschick, MD
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Mark Banschick, MD is an advocate for the children of divorce. As a child and adolescent psychiatrist, he has been working with divorcing families for over twenty years. The Intelligent Divorce, is part of a larger project (see www.TheIntelligentDivorce.com), designed to help parents under stress – and their children. He was featured on CBS’s The Early Show, teaching his child centered approach to divorce.

Book One in The Intelligent Divorce Series, Taking Care of Your Children (2010) focuses on the well being of kids. The Intelligent Divorce: Taking Care of Your Children in paperback at Amazon.com or The Intelligent Divorce: Taking Care of Your Children for Kindle at Amazon.com. This book helps you gauge how your child is doing with the divorce and what you can do to make a difference.

Book Two, Taking Care of Yourself (2011), helps parents to take control of their lives, by handling anger and anxiety more productively, learning about finances and healthier living and dealing realistically with the world of attorneys, therapists and difficult ex spouses.

Book Three, Dealing with a Difficult Ex, is scheduled to come out in 2012.

You can reach Dr. Banschick on his website at www.TheIntelligentDivorce.com or at drbanschick@gmail.com. He is available for consultation, media appearances and lectures to professionals involved with the children of divorce. His office is in Katonah, New York.

The Intelligent Divorce Project: Just Kids On Divorce- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFE0-LfUKgA

The mission of The Intelligent Divorce is to help divorcing parents avoid the common mistakes that often hurt children during a divorce. The Intelligent Divorce advocates on behalf of kids with books, an online course, seminars and a media campaign.

Entries by Mark Banschick, MD

The Traumatic Divorce: 6 Ways to Heal

(17) Comments | Posted February 8, 2013 | 11:10 AM

Divorce can traumatize. This should not be news to you.

Whereas physical trauma happens to your body, psychological trauma affects your brain and your mind. The traumatic response is characterized by debilitating anxiety, overwhelming vulnerability, flashbacks and an inability to cope.

In a traumatic divorce, survival instincts often get triggered...

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Unforgivable Hurt: A Cheater's Four Choices

(180) Comments | Posted February 2, 2013 | 2:00 AM

Jenny and Peter live in a white picket-fenced house on Washington Drive with their two young kids. For the most part, their lives are vanilla -- pedestrian. Peter's work as a lawyer means that he spends long hours at his firm, while Jenny's day follows a typical soccer mom's schedule....

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Unforgivable Hurt: Eight Ways To Heal

(504) Comments | Posted January 3, 2013 | 1:30 AM

Simon has been caught cheating on his wife, Chelsea. She's been a dedicated wife and a wonderful mother, and Simon's been having sex with her best friend. Now contrite, Simon admits that Chelsea is supportive, loyal, and loving and he cannot justify his infidelity. When Chelsea stumbles on evidence of...

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Getting Over Him In Six Steps

(131) Comments | Posted November 8, 2012 | 2:00 AM

You've been dumped. It feels like hell, and you don't know what to do. What will it take to get over a nasty affair, or worse, an unexpected divorce? And will you or your kids make it?

The key is to your recovery is to take back control and own...

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Seven Ways to Cut the Stress of Divorce

(3) Comments | Posted May 22, 2012 | 11:30 AM

Divorce is stressful -- there's no two ways around it. Between financial concerns, finding a new home, legal proceedings, taking care of the kids and their emotions, taking care of your own emotions -- even separately all of these are difficult to handle, and tackling them all at once may...

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5 Steps to Getting Over Divorce

(37) Comments | Posted May 17, 2012 | 12:05 PM

Is it possible to get over a bad divorce?

Yes. But it's going to take work, including getting back in control and owning your life. Believe it or not, there is a psychological term for this. It's called Radical Acceptance.

It takes five...

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The Magic of Baseball

(1) Comments | Posted April 20, 2012 | 3:51 PM

What is it about sports that can bring out an almost religious like fervor in fans?

Maybe we are drawn to the graceful athleticism we ourselves are unable to achieve, or the sense of coming together with others for something bigger than ourselves. These are all contributing factors, but...

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The Ex Who Wants to Hurt You

(119) Comments | Posted December 30, 2011 | 10:45 AM

In my previous post, When Divorce is a Sickness, I discussed the "Malignant Divorce," a phenomenon that is becoming all too common in our society. Sadly, in some extreme cases, divorce can turn very dangerous. Here, I will discuss some behavioral patterns that may be indicate...

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The Miracle of Getting Kids to Sleep

(1) Comments | Posted December 21, 2011 | 9:13 AM

From bed time stories to a warm glass of milk, it seems that restless children are as old as the monster under the bed.

Why is it so hard to get kids to sleep? To help answer this question, I asked Maureen Healy, child development and parenting expert at

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How To Make a Vacation a Vacation

(0) Comments | Posted December 8, 2011 | 1:55 AM

Now that December is here, you are probably thinking of visiting a beach, going skiing, or taking a well deserved stay-at-home break. Vacations can be wonderful experiences, but with them come unique hurdles for families of divorce.

Parents who are early on in the divorce process need to think carefully...

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When Divorce Is a Sickness

(143) Comments | Posted November 17, 2011 | 1:00 AM

Last month, tragedy struck in the suburbs of New York City. The Friedlander family was in the middle of a divorce, and like many in these tough economic times, the couple was living together. Things took a turn for the worse, and the father, a respected attorney, is

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Who Isn't a Child on Halloween?

(1) Comments | Posted October 20, 2011 | 2:31 PM

The trees glow with brilliant colors. The air is sweet, its coolness refreshing to the skin. There is nothing like a brilliant autumn evening with the stars staring back down at you. It's late October and the days are getting shorter. And, during the past few weeks, the sky is...

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Now That School Has Started...

(2) Comments | Posted October 14, 2011 | 1:35 PM

Now that the school year is in full swing, you as a parent have a lot to do. This is not news. The beginning of the school year is a challenging time for anyone. Even celebrities have spoken about challenging experiences that they have had in school. Actress Emma Stone...

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We Lose - I'm Happy

(2) Comments | Posted October 10, 2011 | 3:37 PM

This was quite a week for sports fans in New York and Philadelphia. We lost. We really lost.

On Thursday, our incredibly competent Yankees were outdone by an upstart Detroit Tiger team. No World Series this year. The Philadelphia Phillies may have the fire power, but they lost the...

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Divorce and The High Holidays

(5) Comments | Posted September 26, 2011 | 12:00 PM

This Wednesday night marks the beginning of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, which is the first day of the Jewish High Holidays. For many Jewish families, the next few weeks are emotionally charged and inspiring times. From Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur to Simchat Torah, these holidays offer an...

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Doctors Notes: Back to School after the Break Up

(0) Comments | Posted September 6, 2011 | 12:42 PM

Getting out of bed on a Monday morning; turning off the computer after being called to dinner; going to bed on time. What do all of these have in common? They are all transitions and kids have trouble with them. However, these are nothing compared to the huge looming transition...

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Sensible, Smart, Love

(17) Comments | Posted August 17, 2011 | 12:24 PM

For a little under two hours, "Crazy, Stupid, Love," directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, goes about exploring the complex terrain of divorce, inviting the audience to engage in the relatable, mysterious, complicated topic of love. The film, jam packed with appealing stars, is a combination of comic scenes...

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Teenagers, Divorce and When (and When Not) to Medicate: Part Two

(5) Comments | Posted July 12, 2011 | 5:49 PM

"She is so much less moody since we found the right prescription."

-Mother, 17 year old daughter

Medications can truly helpful for adults and teens with problems such as anxiety, moodiness, eating disorders, anger or attention issues. Millions of scripts are written every year and many people benefit. So,...

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Teenagers, Divorce and When (and When Not) to Medicate

(63) Comments | Posted July 5, 2011 | 12:59 AM

"He is such a pleasure to be around since starting his meds."

-Mother, 16 year old son

Medications can truly helpful for adults and teens with problems such as anxiety, moodiness, eating disorders, anger or attention issues. Millions of scripts are written every year and many people benefit. So,...

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When It's Too Late To Divorce

(28) Comments | Posted June 20, 2011 | 7:28 PM

Recently the case of a woman by the name of Selamawit Negasi's brutal murder resurfaced. The trial is ongoing. Negasi's husband himself confessed to the gruesome murder when he turned himself into the police and revealed the location of the mutilated remains. The daughter of the couple, Elan Negasi, testified...

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