02/09/2009 01:07 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Big Love Wife Watch!: Round Four (Spoilers)

Welcome back to Wife Watch!, the only blog post that ranks the most powerful wives on this week's Big Love.

And holy hats, did an ill wind ever blow through Utah tonight. After one hour and two mugs of tea, I still haven't shaken the chill.

Since this installment---which I'll be reviewing tomorrow---was so unsettling, the First Wife is clearly the one who most contributed to the creepshow.

A participation pin goes to the newly-blond Margene, who not only wrinkled the family's fabric by listening to those dreadfully homosexual glam-rockers the Scissor Sisters, but also ambushed Nicky and Bill by announcing that everyone in The Henrickson Homes thinks Roman is a skeevy freak.

And speaking of my beloved Nicky... She gave her daddy a push down the courthouse stairs after dutifully spying for him for weeks. Toss in her growing flirtation with the D.A., and she looks like a free agent, loyal to no one as she tries to survive her emotional crisis. She's too scattered this week to reign supreme, but I'd count on a major move in epsodes to come. In fact, don't be surprised if she starts her own compound in the back of a Utah mall, where the wives all shop online and the make their money smuggling birth control.

Even if that does happen, though, it would pale beside the lady who finally played the royal flush she's been holding for weeks. She bribed Rhonda, threatened Jodeen's child to make her lie on the stand about Kathy, and ultimately got Roman off with nothing but an adult education class.

So take a bow, Adaleen. There's a reason this episode had so many shots of you standing silently in the background, assessing things. It's because you were staring at your kingdom. You are this week's First Wife, and if anyone wants to cross you, they'd better be careful, because there's not a hotel for a hundred miles where they can hide.