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Are Food Names Corrupting Our Children?

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FISHTAIL, Mont. -- We don't ordinarily think of names of food setting bad examples for our children, but according to the National Food Messaging Foundation (NFMF), they do. NFMF Director Penelope Bainbridge explained, "These food names have become so accepted in the American consciousness and throughout our society and even the world, that we don't think twice about them, but we should, because children are impressionable, words have meanings, and children tend to take these meanings literally." To bring these offending food names to light, the NFMF has released the first of what it sees as being an annual offering -- its Top Ten Offensive Food Names. The list, along with NFMF comments, includes:

  • Sloppy Joes -- "Sends the message that messy is okay. We suggest changing the food to Neat Joes."
  • Deviled Eggs -- "Do we really want to name an innocent egg item after Satan? Should obviously be Angeled Eggs."
  • Dirty Rice -- "The last thing we want to do is promote filth, especially among our precious children. Change to Clean Rice at once."
  • Licorice -- "Obviously, we want to avoid any food item beginning with the 'Lick' word. Change to Respectorice."
  • Poo-Poo Platter -- "Just because it's from another country, in this case China, doesn't mean it has the right to appear on a menu in America to influence our children. Change to Fun Fun Platter."
  • Lazy Susan-- "Even the tableware upon which the food is served is sending out the wrong message. Change to Industrious Susan."

Bainbridge added that FNMF's recommendations for the name changes will be forwarded to Congress immediately. "And then we'll get back to work on our other major project for the year - a list of the names of sports that send children the wrong message. Number one on the list -- soccer. Think about it -- 'Sock Her.' Why you would want a sport's name to promote violence against women is beyond me! And don't even get my started on Badminton and Squash."