THE BLOG
12/07/2011 04:39 pm ET | Updated Feb 06, 2012

Cain Not Able: What Was Herman Cain Thinking?

Grandiosity plus Entitlement* plus "No intent to hurt" = Nonmalicious Narcissism

We don't yet know what or if there will be a "bawdy count" of stories regarding Herman Cain that will now be exposed. If so, he will likely have the strong negative reactions that Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods triggered by their amoral activities.

What it means if you are a nonmalicious narcissist is that because you act not to hurt others, but because you feel entitled to do whatever you want, you may have trouble understanding how others can feel so upset or hurt by your actions when you didn't do them to be hurtful.

What it means to the rest of us who want to look up to such people is that another person has not proven themselves to be evil, just flawed, foolish, to have feet of clay and be deeply disappointing.

Over the long run however, if it turns out that they didn't hurt us and if their family has dealt with the terrible shame and embarrassment (to which we are not privy unless it's a 20/20 or 60 Minutes interview), moved passed it (á la Hillary Clinton) or moved on (á la Elin Nordegren Woods) and if the Bill Clintons and Tiger Woodses are able to get back on the wagon of producing superb results and value to the rest of us, we are ready to re-embrace them. Will we given them a prodigal hero's welcome? Probably not, but we will let go of rooting against them.

It does appear to be a trade off. As Woody Allen quipped about the person thinking he's a chicken and why Allen's character didn't turn him in because, "I needed the eggs," it appears that in the long run we will forgive larger than life people for turning out to be all too human, because we need the results and value they can bring us.

* One of the biggest rude awakenings to many men who fit this formula is when their wife becomes a mother. At that point the entitlement, especially to adoration that is heaped upon these men by fans, the world and "adoring" women becomes less tolerable to a mother who is focused on the legitimate entitlement to adoration of a dependent child. Even more so, when these men not only want adoration, but warmth from their wives, that becomes even more difficult to conjure up from within her. It is difficult to engender a heartfelt smile on their wives' faces when too often these men are "all about me."