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Rudy vs. The Donald: A Gotham Tale-of-the-Tape

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As the Republican presidential primary season gets underway, two big-name Republican brands and NYC icons have been suggesting that they might run.

Rudy vs. The Donald would be a tabloid dream. How real is the prospect? Giuliani told CNN's Piers Morgan and CNBC's Larry Kudlow that he was "absolutely" considering it, adding that he would be more likely to go if Palin ran since by comparison he'd look more "moderate." Trump told GMA and Morning Joe that he too was "absolutely" thinking about it and would decide by June.

But neither has made it into 2012 poll match-ups and major commentators seem to largely regard it as look-at-me puffery. Indeed, Trump publicly flirted with a presidential run in 1999 and Giuliani with both governor and senate last year -- and both got headlines, not votes.

The one poll exception was Rasmussen, which concluded that Giuliani would be a credible candidate if Romney, Palin, Huckabee and Gingrich didn't run! In response, Celeste Katz of The Daily News wrote that "was like saying '70s girls would have put up Marty Feldman posters if John Travolta hadn't been around."

Trump seems further along in a candidacy, with a web site,, that has an online survey indicating that a remarkable Mubarak-like 67% thought he should run.

For now, each potential candidate is staying in their comfort zones -- Giuliani races to Fox Cable studios whenever there's a terrorist incident or threat repeating the mantra that "America has to stay on the offensive" while Trump hints that he may take over the bankrupt Tavern on the Green restaurant in Central Park. "I'd make it the highest-grossing restaurant on the planet," he said. Could the name be "Trump on the Green"?

But neither cable studios nor a restaurant for tourists comes close to the thrill and exposure of a possible presidential bid. So until the mainstream media take them more seriously, let me be the first to publish a Gotham Tale-of-the-Tape to help handicap this possible titanic contest.

A Gotham Tale-of-the-Tape

Rudy GiulianiDonald Trump
Weight/Height195 / 5'10"207 / 6’2"
HairNosferatu Slick-BlackStrawberry blond fop
Slogan"9/11... 9/11... 9/11""You're fired!"
First presidential actExec order that all duly convicted terrorists would be beheadedExec order abolishing all capital gains taxes
Early career possibilitypriesthoodfilm business
ReligionIs Roman CatholicWas Roman Catholic
# of marriages33
# of children speaking to05
Biggest successCalmed NYC after WTC attack and then knighted by Queen Elizabeth IIBuilt Wollman Rink quickly
Biggest failure1 GOP delegate for m in '08Business bankruptcy in '91
Biggest enemybin Laden (if alive) or Donna HanoverRosie O'Donnell or himself
Political liabilitiesInmate #1173 Bernie Kerik ("Bernie, thank God George Bush is our president" -- 9/11/01) and built EMS bunker at 7 WTCHas been known to exaggerate
Political assetsHas own private security force of 110Worth 1/10 of Bloomberg and will spend more than Pawlenty
Most revealing quotes"Freedom is about authority," and "He was no altar boy" about an innocent black man slain by police"Why don't you convert?" to his Jewish son-in-law, and "All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me -- consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected."
Likelihood of nomination2.0% (Intrade)1.6% (Intrade)
Favorite bookBattle Hymn of the Tiger DadTrump: The Art of the Deal
Favorite film roletie: Keyser Soze in Usual Suspects and the godfather in GodfatherGordon Gekko, Wall Street and Harold Hill in The Music Man
Best description"Either you love him -- or he hates you.""The ego has landed."
Net worth million (est.)0-2.9 billion (est.)