iOS app Android app

Mark Matousek
Mark Matousek is the bestselling author of two memoirs, Sex Death Enlightenment: A True Story, The Boy He Left Behind: A Man's Search for his Lost Father, as well as When You're Falling, Dive: Lessons in the Art of Living. A former senior editor at Interview Magazine, contributing editor to O, The Oprah Magazine and Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, his work has appeared in numerous anthologies and publications, including The New Yorker, Details, Harper's Bazaar, and the Utne Reader. He is the Creative Director of VMen, and international coalition for ending violence against women and girls (with playwright Eve Ensler) He lives in New York City.

Entries by Mark Matousek

The Dream of the Perfect Marriage

(0) Comments | Posted February 17, 2015 | 7:16 PM

When you've been down the aisle and really bombed, it's hard to believe you'll ever have a happy marriage. When you've put on the tux, chosen the rings, picked out the invites, the flowers, the music, written the vows, made up the guest list, said, "I do," then wound up...

Read Post

Begin Again

(1) Comments | Posted January 20, 2015 | 1:17 PM

We live in the Age of Authority where the highest value is placed on expertise, being know-it-alls, and masters of the universe. In this era of achievement obsession, great emphasis is placed on knowledge over wisdom and on information over truth. We look down our noses at amateurs, feel judged...

Read Post

How Do You Live?

(0) Comments | Posted November 20, 2014 | 1:06 AM

Two weeks before she killed herself, my older sister Marcia showed up at my house, wanting to ask an important question. She stared at me for a long time, looking haggard and sad after months of depression, till finally Marcia came out with it. "How do you live?" my sister...

Read Post

The Art of Surrender

(1) Comments | Posted September 22, 2014 | 11:53 AM

Surrender has long been a dirty word in a culture steeped in do-or-die machismo, in which willfulness is next to godliness, and giving in (even when fighting is useless) is often seen as "giving up."

Even in spiritual circles, surrender is a point of contention. Just the other day, I...

Read Post

Age Is What Makes Us Sexy

(9) Comments | Posted June 13, 2014 | 5:39 AM

I know a person who's having a midlife crisis. It isn't a secret; that's part of the crisis. His issue comes down to an excess of sex that he talks about excessively. His best friends don't mind that he's scoring more than LeBron James in a heated playoff -- they...

Read Post

Forgive or Forget It

(0) Comments | Posted June 10, 2014 | 4:25 PM

Friendships are the great overlooked love affairs of our lives. On the hierarchy of emotional connections, we place even our dearest friends several rungs beneath lovers and family, and only slightly higher than colleagues, all too often, in the pecking order of who gets attention.

Friendships are affairs of the...

Read Post

What's Your Story?

(0) Comments | Posted June 3, 2014 | 1:56 PM

Every life is a work of fiction. That's what I tell my writing students. People come to me wanting to tell their life story, the narrative that sums them up, that captures the essence of who they are. They expect to find this story hiding inside them like a Michelangelo...

Read Post

Bringen wir das unseren Kindern bei: Wer du bist, ist bereits genug

(0) Comments | Posted May 31, 2014 | 10:07 AM

Früher träumte ich davon, ein Nonstop-Leben zu führen, ein erfolgreiches Leben. Ein Leben, das mit so vielen wichtigen Deadlines und Terminen, unablässigen Anforderungen und Pflichten vollgepackt wäre, dass mir kaum Zeit zum Nachdenken blieb. Ich stellte mir vor, wie bedeutend ich mich durch ein solch hektisches Dasein fühlen würde. Ich...

Read Post

It Is Sweet to Do Nothing

(0) Comments | Posted May 23, 2014 | 5:19 PM

I used to dream of a non-stop life, a successful life that was crammed to bursting with deadlines, dates, demands, and duties so ceaseless and important I'd barely have time to think. This frantic existence, I imagined, would make me feel like someone who mattered, a person with a big...

Read Post

Secrets and Lies

(0) Comments | Posted May 23, 2014 | 11:58 AM

Every life is a patchwork of secrets, half-truths, evasions, shams and disguises. The most authentic among us have hidden compartments, shadowy corners and taboo behaviors we keep under wraps for fear of destroying our public image.

I know a Buddhist teacher who sells pot for extra money, a radical feminist...

Read Post

Die Hard

(188) Comments | Posted May 19, 2014 | 5:25 AM

This blog first appeared in Purple Clover.

The night when impotence first crossed my mind announced my fall from grace as a man.

I was 14 years old, a blissful stranger to the histrionics of the male erection. My own was something I took for granted; he was...

Read Post

The Mystery of Love

(0) Comments | Posted May 15, 2014 | 3:30 PM

Love is the greatest mystery. It comes when you're least expecting it and disappears when you think it is here to stay. The heat that ignites it at the beginning is doused by the intimacy it creates. Love's a portal, a mirror, a cross to bear, a joy, a heartbreak,...

Read Post

Tweet or Die

(1) Comments | Posted May 7, 2014 | 7:29 PM

I was dragged kicking and screaming into the social media age. Had I not been a professional writer, warned by publishers to become my own platform, I would never have issued a tweet, posted on Facebook, sent Constant Contact e-blasts, done audio promos, video promos, podcasts, webinars, teleconferences or Google...

Read Post

The Power of Solitude

(0) Comments | Posted May 7, 2014 | 6:23 PM

I went to the woods to be alone. It was at the beginning of my spiritual search. I believed that self-imposed exile in a hunter's cabin, miles up a mountain road with no phone, car, computer, or human distraction, would automatically change me for the better, bestow on me some...

Read Post

The Optimist's Manifesto

(0) Comments | Posted April 29, 2014 | 5:41 PM

When you've been hauled back from death's door, it's hard not to be an optimist.

I was supposed to be dead at 30, over two decades ago. The condition didn't kill me but what did get annihilated was the cynic hiding under my cheerful mask -- the clever, dystopian, pessimist...

Read Post

You Are a Genius: 5 Steps to Creative Freedom

(1) Comments | Posted August 27, 2013 | 4:35 PM

You are a genius but probably don't know it. Each of is born with a specific gift that exists nowhere else in all of creation. In ancient Rome, it was well understood that everyone had his or her own genius, a spirit whose sole purpose is to inspire our lives...

Read Post

In the Realm of the Senses: The SAND 2013 Conference

(0) Comments | Posted June 21, 2013 | 9:33 AM

Ever since prehistoric man first glimpsed, in some primordial pool, his own perplexing reflection, our ancestors have asked themselves the same question: "Who am I?"

In a forested conference center in the Dutch countryside, several hundred scientists, sages, and seekers gathered earlier this month for the annual Science and Non-Duality...

Read Post

Gotham Salon: "The East," An Eco Thriller

(3) Comments | Posted May 29, 2013 | 3:31 PM

What is the appropriate moral response to grave injustice? When do ends justify means, and when, if ever, is violence the right solution for addressing social wrongs? These are the compelling questions addressed in Zal Batmanglij's riveting new film, "The East," about corporate-environmental crime and an eco-activist group that fights...

Read Post

Gotham Salon: Eve Ensler's New Book

(2) Comments | Posted May 21, 2013 | 8:07 AM

Eve Ensler is a triple threat. An artist who is also a performer, who is also an activist, she is the founder of V-Day, her movement to end violence against women and girls, which has raised more than $90 million in the past fifteen years. In addition to opening safe...

Read Post

Dharma Salon: Leonard Cohen at Radio City Music Hall

(5) Comments | Posted April 15, 2013 | 4:42 PM

Seeing Leonard Cohen at Radio City Music Hall in New York City last week was one of the greatest performance experiences of our lives. Of course, we had been hearing about his legendary concerts since 2008 when he began a series of world tours, which have continued to this day,...

Read Post