Mark Morford

You don't get many of them, really, in your lifetime. Two or three? Maybe a half dozen if you're lucky? I suppose it largely depends on the era you get to live in, its energy and pulse, its surfeit or shortage of joie de vivre. Also, who you get as...

Hey! See those people sitting next to you at that restaurant? That café? That food court, juice bar, sushi joint? Ever notice what happens when their food order arrives?

...Food, mind you, that has (usually) been carefully planned, meticulously prepared, perfectly cooked, beautifully presented, food that has been sourced from...

Funny how no one ever talks about the nuns.

I suppose it makes sense. After all, Catholic nuns are so rarely embroiled in sex scandals. They are never caught pants down in the rectory with a 10-year-old altar boy, teaching him of the "mystical secretions" of the Lord. They never...

Oh, how weak we have become. How whiny and wretched, tormented and convinced -- convinced! -- we simply cannot do even the most mildly difficult thing all by ourselves, lest we break, wail and beg for medication.

Behold, the latest micro-trend story that's not really a trend because no one...

And then came the headline that surprised exactly no one and delighted a great many, even as it openly terrified countless thousands across the Deep South, Utah, and Kansas, as well as pretty much the entire GOP. The poor dears.

"Homophobes might be secretly attracted to people of...

There are plenty of things to concern yourself with. There are far too many things that wish to stress you out, slap you asunder and make you feel heavy, sad and lost. These should not be among them. Starting with:

1) Rick Santorum. Isn't he just the skeeviest little disruption,...

OMG you guys, have you heard? Yoga is all about ... how to put this gently without scaring the children? It's all about your naughty bits. Your genitals. It's true.

It's also all about kinky superstar "gurus," sexual healing and drug-crazed orgies where everyone gets naked, sleeps with married people...

Often in the midst of my second glass of whisky do I ponder how it can be that seemingly savvy and knowledgeable people, people who clearly know better, people who you sense have a modicum of wisdom and perspective despite steaming piles of evidence to the contrary, so brutally decide...

So, what's it going to be? What flavor of revolt and indignation do you prefer as we dance like drunken angels into the wilds of 2012? Choose wisely, and you can become electrified and alive, a full and informed participant in the culture. Choose poorly, and the world is bleak...

America! For the love of God and guns, sex and sunlight, iPhones and puppies and all that you hold dear, please please please do not eat this new and completely repulsive food-like item you see before you. Can't you see it's made of chemicals and fat and dead, lost dreams?

Behold, Burger King home delivery! That's right, America's No. 3 fast food death machine is testing the bringing of Whoppers, BK Stackers and other grease-related, food-like items that are so full of salt and sugar and fat and synthetic hormones they will make your blood turn into...

Freezing early morning temperatures across the Bay Area will give way to the first respectable storm in nearly two months later this week, according to the National Weather Service. -- Associated Press

Firstly, bundle up! Have you not seen the emails, the flyers and the endless, endless spam? From Gilt...

You want to exercise more, eat better, read more books? Spend more time with your kids, get more sleep and cook more delicious meals at home? Wonderful. Have at it. Me, I'm going a little esoteric, a little vibrational this fine year of our apocalypse. It just seems appropriate. Starting...

It's that time of year again, when my friend Andy sends out a hotly excitable e-mail asking a dozen of his most music-crazed friends -- sound engineers, clubsters, DJs, anyone for whom music is less a casual dalliance and more like lifeblood -- to compile their personal lists of the...

Citizen! Righteous shopper! Economic doldrums got you down? Black Friday making you want to choke the Walmart heirs with a lawnmower? Cheer up, friend. This is America. Even in our darkest hour, we can find solace, unity, a fresh beacon of hope.

Behold, salvation... in a can! This year, why...

CBS, Google, Levi's, Starbucks, New Balance, and Xerox are among the 70 companies and cities that have signed an amicus brief stating that DOMA, the 1996 federal Defense of Marriage Act, hurts business. --NCRM.com

Woe to you, oh modern card-carrying homophobe. For it can't be easy to...

Seven billion eager souls later, you'd think we'd have it sort of figured out.

Seven billion mewling, wailing, weirdly miraculous babies in to this bizarre human experiment, you'd think someone would finally understand something of the true nature of things, how to make it all hold together, to...

Your terrifying word of the day is "microtasking" and it comes by way of a relatively humble, ostensibly helpful article I read via one of those perky little DIY blogs that exist to tell you a million ways to tweak and hack your entire existence to gain maximum productivity, efficiency...

People who had mystic experiences while taking the mushrooms were more likely to show increases in a personality trait dubbed "openness" ... The change was still in place a year later, suggesting a long-term effect. (Bloomberg)

Just look at us, would you? Are we not the most adorable...

"There may be no greater tribute to Steve Jobs' success than the fact that much of the world learned of his passing on a device he invented." -Barack Obama

The world is full of visionaries.

We are, as a species, endlessly blessed with numerous beings of every shape, size...