05/14/2010 06:25 pm ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

San Francisco Values Save the World!

So I'm skimming like a mud puddle Jesus through another hunk of grammatically wretched hate mail, kindly informing me that both I and the city in which I live are godless, stinky insults to all humanity (yawn), that all of us here in Perverted Pelosiville are depraved sickos due in no small part to our pathetic liberal values (zzzz), our lack of openly displayed firearms and our obvious adoration of terrorists, immigrants, communism, anal sex, artisan coffee, organic produce and, of course, organic analterrorist sexcoffee.

All told, it's a rather uninspired, typically brainless hunk of Tea Party-grade spittle, true 2nd grade stuff that's nowhere near as nasty as some of the hate mail I used to get back in the 00's BAC (Before Anonymous Commenting) -- the absolute finest examples of which, by the way, I've included in my book, "The Daring Spectacle." It's something to see.

But this time, because this message keeps trumpeting the same old childish cliches about San Francisco in particular and blue state values in general, it caused me to actually do something I haven't done since Glenn Beck was knee-high to a crocodile tear...

I paused. Just before I hit the delete key, I actually stopped and wondered: What would happen if I did something I simply never do, and actually tried to engage this person, just a little, to speak to him with reason and tact, try to show him some facts and actual data, recent studies and long-term reports that prove, once again and for the 100th time, that the infamous "blue state" values -- particularly those about family and family structure -- that they so fear and abhor are, well, actually some of the most stable and healthiest in the country?

What if I were to trot out the irrefutable stats about, say, education levels, or teen pregnancy rates, or abortion? How about college graduation rates, marriage stability, or even adoption? What about general health? Obesity? What if I were to casually mention, with sufficient factual backup, how blue states tend to trounce nearly every red state across the board in these key markers?

Would it matter? Would the spittle-flecked bipeds who write to me (or comment down below) and misspell "commy" and "sodimite" listen or care in the slightest? I already know the answer...

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Mark Morford is the author of The Daring Spectacle: Adventures in Deviant Journalism, a mega-collection of his finest columns for the SF Chronicle and SFGate. Get it at or Amazon;. He recently wrote about the KFC Double Down, the Texas Board of Education, and what it's like being part of the evil liberal conspiracy. His website is Join him on Facebook;, or email him. Not to mention...