05/24/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The Scary Black Socialist Nazi Wins Again!

Did anyone punch anyone? Was there any actual blood? I think I might've missed it.

Did Pelosi kick John Boehner in the testicles and then run away laughing before a screeching Virginia Foxx grabbed her by the hair, pulled her to the floor and punched her in the kidneys?

Did just about everyone on the House floor bitch-slap Bart Stupak -- who should right now vanish of the face of the earth forevermore, you simpering mealworm -- while Rahm Emmanuel head-butted Harry Reid, even as both burned a sneering Newt Gingrich doll in effigy? I might've been dreaming.

Did Obama finally strut in like a prize-fighter, like a Muay Thai boxer, bruised and exhausted after a solid year of this insane, polarizing BS, the viciousness of which even he never imagined? Did he deliver a dazzling barrage of calm, swift kicks to the heads of bitchy Repubs and nervous Dems alike, as everything devolved into a violent, smoke-filled melee of broken glass and shattered dentures, with little Joe Lieberman whimpering in the corner, rocking back and forth, wondering whatever happened to his integrity?

I don't think any of that happened. It sure felt like it happened. Maybe it should have happened. But I guess it didn't.

Behold, with the astonishing passage of flawed-but-incredible health care reform, we have the concomitant, frightening realization that this remains one of the most acidic, bitter, hopelessly divisive times to live in America and care a whit for national politics while maintaining a shred of morality, hope, a progressive soul.

Like millions, I was fairly convinced it simply could not get much worse or more acrimonious than when Dubya ran the nation into the ground, embarrassing and humiliating us planetwide a thousand times over as the rogue idiot pseudo-cowboy laughingstock war-hungry prick of the civilized world. I was wrong. But not in the way I imagined....

Read the rest of this column here

Mark Morford is the author of The Daring Spectacle, a hilarious mega-collection of his finest work for the SF Chronicle and SFGate. His columns are archived here;. Also: His home page, Facebook page, or send him some nice email. Not to mention...