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Mark Olmsted

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The Most Essential Right of All

Posted: 03/05/10 11:08 AM ET

Let's first all agree on one thing. No one is pro-abortion. You are either for or against the right of women to have one, but believing a miniscule, insentient fetus shouldn't have the same rights as the adult woman carrying it doesn't mean you think terminating that pregnancy is just another medical procedure.

I am close to at least 6 women who have had abortions. All of them, years later, still feel ambivalent about their choice, just as they did when they made it. But they are clear it was better than the unsafe, illegal abortion they might have pursued, or having a child they didn't want to have. It doesn't mean they wouldn't have loved those children. But it would have almost certainly meant they wouldn't have borne at least one of the children they later did have, intentionally--children born to parents who got married because they wanted to, not because they had to; who completed their education and could afford to feed and clothe and house their kids properly.

"Every child, a wanted child" seems to be a rarely heard pro-choice argument these days. But it strikes me as the most important.

When I was prison I talked to innumerable other inmates about their lives. A tiny minority had been born of two married parents. The overwhelming majority had been raised by a single woman (mother, grandmother, aunt or foster mother) economically and often emotionally underequipped for the task. Almost all of these guys had been regularly struck or beaten as children, although none would call it abuse. ("Oh, but you don't understand" they'd tell me. "I deserved it. I was a bad kid.") A great many had been sexually abused by older men, though I admit that information was harder to come by. (The percentage of female inmates reporting sexual abuse in studies is close to 95%.)

Congressman Bart Stupak is so certain that women with access to better insurance might have more abortions that he is threatening to torpedo the entire healthcare reform bill. It is not at all unlikely that his blackmail may have the end result of forcing insurance plans that want access to federally subsidized premiums to cancel abortion coverage altogether. This may have the effect of reducing abortion; but it will also have the effect of increasing the number of unwanted children.

Let me ask the Congressman a few questions: What kind of lives does he think most unwanted children actually end up having? Does he really think they get adopted off to pretty suburban homes or turn into Tim Tebow? Why does he think most women get abortions now? Could it be because two lives might be ruined otherwise?

It would seem Mr. Stupak and his cronies don't care what kind of lives poor children have, just that they have lives. Otherwise he could never risk torpedoing a healthcare bill that is the single best hope those very same children, not to mention their mothers, have to break the cycle of poverty, abuse and neglect that so often mark their time on earth.

Not every child will be planned. But every child should be wanted. It should be the most fundamental right there is.

 

Follow Mark Olmsted on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MarquisMarq

Let's first all agree on one thing. No one is pro-abortion. You are either for or against the right of women to have one, but believing a miniscule, insentient fetus shouldn't have the same rights as...
Let's first all agree on one thing. No one is pro-abortion. You are either for or against the right of women to have one, but believing a miniscule, insentient fetus shouldn't have the same rights as...
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Mark Olmsted
essayist, blogger, activist
12:04 PM on 03/12/2010
Marriage does not make automatic good parents. How many millions of American kids are raised by the back of the hand, verbally or sexually abused by the parents who have been "blessed" by the "sacrament" of marriage? By mothers who had them without intention or any capacity for the massive work, patience, and love required to raise a child decently?
None of the adolescent and pre-logical arguments propounded by my Catholic commenters address the validity of my argument: that children have a right to be wanted. They alo have a right not to be hit, verbally abused, miseducated, sent to prison, underfed etc.
As for whether "being dead" is better than a life of poverty, that would assume I accept the proposition that abortion is death. I do not. Never being born is not "death." or contraception would be murder. I do, however, see the real and virtual death of all the poor women forced to have children that they cannot care for, that get them thrown out of the house, that force them into prostitution or work abroad that forces them to be absent mothers. Read the articles about the real lives of Salvadorean and Nicaraguan women who can't have safe legal abortions. The valuing of virtual maybe babies over actual human beings is galling at best, contemptible at worst.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JohnBryansFontaine
Liberal Democrat
04:09 PM on 03/06/2010
A Pro-Life Death Sentence

The case of a pregnant Nicaraguan woman who has been denied treatment for cancer is yet another instance of how women's health is disregarded by anti-abortion advocates.

By Michelle Goldberg

In the Nicaraguan city of Leon, a 27-year-old, known only as Amalia, is being denied treatment for cancer because she's 10 weeks pregnant and chemotherapy would harm her fetus. Since 2006, abortion has been illegal in Nicaragua under all circumstances, even when a woman's life is at stake, so while Amalia is in the hospital, nothing is being done for her. Amalia's sister has gone public, desperately seeking to pressure the government to help keep Amalia, who has a 10-year-old daughter, alive. La Prensa, Nicaragua's main newspaper, quoted her sister making a public statement interrupted by sobs. "We are asking that my sister be given treatment, we are asking that you don't forget that my sister is a human being, we are asking that this treatment be immediate," she said, before being unable to continue...

http://www.prospect.org/cs/articles?article=a_pro_life_death_sentence
04:49 PM on 03/08/2010
Fighting for both lives is the right thing to do.
No one can tell that the child is more important than the mother, or the other way. They are worth the same.

What would you do if there were cojoined twins, one of them has cancer and need chemotherapy, the other one refuses to participate?
I'm not pretending to have the right answer for that, but im quite sure that the right one can't be to take the healthy brother by force into the chemoterapy.
03:15 PM on 03/06/2010
I think if all these high and mighty rightwingers would start adopting these children, they could quit being hypocrites. All pro lifers need to sign up and take themselves a baby. But they wont they had the power to change the laws and never. They ll use this as a wedge issue trying to get votes but will not do anything about it. If they cared about children they would not have voted against Schipp last year. It gave medical treatment to America s under privliged children.Right wingers always got their nose in someone elses business. Keep abortion LEGAL!!
05:14 PM on 03/08/2010
Sorry the link is in spanish, but google translation tools are not working right on this.

http://peru21.pe/noticia/354243/sigue-polemica-iglesia-esta-dispuesta-acoger-bebes-no-deseados
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
18
12:56 PM on 03/06/2010
Only 1% of all abortions are performed after 20 weeks. Even then, a fetus is not likely to be viable until later in the gestation period. So for all you men, especially, who talk about God and soforth, get over it.

I stand by my conviction that only the woman, her doctor and her family, and if she chooses - her spiritual counselor - have a right to consult - and ultimately it is the woman's decision as to what is best for her.

The same people who want government out of their business want government in mine when it comes to abortion. They are all a bunch of hypocrites.
Democrat in the South
Empathy, the most important word
12:24 AM on 03/06/2010
I agree with you 1000%! I am pro-choice "AND" anti-abortion. Think about it, there is no such thing as pro-abortion. No one thinks abortion is good. No one! But mostly I don't want my views and beliefs to take away a woman's right to choose what is right for her body and her life. And most of all, I don't think men should be making choices for women's bodies. I don't hear 'EVER' people saying if we take away the rights of women and force them to have children they don't want, WHY aren't we asking men to sacrifice and take personal responsibility. Why don't we say if we force a woman to have a child, then to be fair, we must force men to support that child the rest of it's life? Have we ever heard a man say anything like that? It takes two to get into a situation where you need an abortion. Why does the woman have to bear all of the burden of an unwanted pregnancy? We need more women in Washington making decisions that affect the lives of BOTH male and female.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SmileAndActNice
Utilitarianism, the -ism that works.
11:20 PM on 03/06/2010
-----
No one thinks abortion is good. No one!
-----

So you think that performing an abortion on a raped nine year old whose hips are to narrow to carry ( nevermind deliver ) twins is a not-good thing? I will disagree with you on that.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/brazil-rocked-by-abortion-for-9yearold-rape-victim-1640165.html

Abortion is just a medical procedure. "Good" or "Bad" depends on the circumstances.

Circumstances vary. Widely.

And there is considerable disagreement as to what situations abortion is the proper response as well. But a pretty common denominator is any situation where the child is going to die anyway but an abortion can prevent it from taking the mother with it. In that case abortion is pretty clearly a good thing ( unless the kid is a boy and you don't consider women to be people I guess in which case its 6 of one and half a dozen of the other since the person dies either way ).

Most people think there are times and places where abortion is good. That any attempt to argue for reproductive rights is spattered with disclaimers like your is a disturbing symptom of how successfully the anti-choice have framed the debate.

It weakens the pro-choice position to play to them like that because by denying that the procedure has any virtue you put yourself in the position of arguing for something that you have declared is always bad.
Democrat in the South
Empathy, the most important word
11:40 PM on 03/06/2010
I stand by what I said. Abortion has no meaning to me unless I have to make a decision for myself. It does not matter what I think. All that matters is what the woman thinks who is making the decision to abort or not. I am abortion neutral. I don't want my views on abortion to be part of any debate , period.
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
Pandaforum
08:32 PM on 03/05/2010
I think unborn babies have a right to live and i not sure the advice of a criminal is the one I would want to follow. It might be expedient, but not neccessaribly the best course. One tenth of one percent of the population are geniuses. We kill a thousand geniuses every year with abortions. There the ones who might have a solution to some of our most pressing problems. As to having a sad childhood. I think there are plenty of examples of people growing up to be solid contributers who had sad childhoods. I'm sure Mr. Olmsted feels he is someone who turned his life around. But just as I'm sure no one should question Mr. olmsteds motivations, i don't see why he should question anyone elses. There are plenty of honorable people on both sideas of this question, but there is no doubt that government support will only increase the number of abortions performed in our Country.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Chris Rautmann
09:50 PM on 03/05/2010
Effective, medically accurate, age-appropriate sex education begun at a very young age, and then easy access to birth control throughout junior high will prevent far more abortions and teen pregnancies than anything that has been proposed from the right.
How can I say this?
Because countries that DO that have 1/10th the abortion and teen pregnancy rates of the US.
If we concentrated on root causes and results instead of forcing policy around what we WANTED the answers to be, we would be much better off.
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
Pandaforum
10:08 PM on 03/05/2010
You mean like obama's guy who wanted to push his gay agenda on school kids. Shouldn't parents have any input. I rather not have my kids indoctrinated in the marxist schools have today.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Mark Olmsted
essayist, blogger, activist
10:09 PM on 03/05/2010
I'll be sure to tell Martha Stewart you don't watch her show, because God knows you're right--anyone who's been to prison can't possibly have anything valid to say.
All I ask is that right-to-lifers exhibit the same kind of interest in real human beings as they do in embryonic versions of them. 45,000 real adults die every year from lack of health insurance. Those are real, adult, thinking, feeling people with families and relationships and histories. A non-viable fetus is part of a woman's body, not a distinct person.
As for geniuses, Hitler, Stalin, Mao and a very long list of serial killers would certainly qualify. It's a a weak argument that taken to its extreme would insist that every woman should have as many offspring as she possibly can because some of them might be geniuses. A lot of them will also be rapists, murderers, wife-beaters, sexual molesters too. (I would contend it's far more likely when they are unwanted children who come from violent upbringings.)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SmileAndActNice
Utilitarianism, the -ism that works.
06:20 PM on 03/05/2010
I once heard a stand-up comic make the following joke:

------------
The difference between Men and Women is that if a Man spent ever had to pass something this size of a basketball out of his body, he'd never want to see that basketball again.
------------

The real decider is not your gender ... it is whether or not you *want* the basketball. If you do, then the pain and suffering to produce it just strengthen your attachment. To abandon it now would be to render the pain you endured to obtain it pointless.

This is the basic premise of rites of manhood the world over so I'll go out on a limb and say men not only "get it", they artificially create trials to mirror pregnancy and labor.

But the very pain that makes these trials meaningful to voluntary participants, makes them torture to the involuntary ones. Unwilling participation also robs the experience of all its character forming properties. Its the difference between bungee jumping and being pushed off a bridge. It doesn't take any courage, self examination, determination, or well, maturity, to be forced into doing something you don't want to do.

Rather the opposite in fact.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JohnBryansFontaine
Liberal Democrat
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Mark Olmsted
essayist, blogger, activist
06:04 PM on 03/05/2010
Amazing and hair-raising article Jack. Thank you. (He writes about what happens in a Catholic theocracy like El Salvador that completely bans abortion. Women are imprisoned. They die. They often commit suicide. Every right to lifer should read this. But they won't, of course.)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
squirrely girl
PhD in Developmental Psychology
04:51 PM on 03/05/2010
Thank you SO MUCH for expressing what I've felt for YEARS. I pent the better part of a decade working with children and teens in state's custody and other correctional/mental health settings and I have seen first hand that there ARE fates worse than terminating an early pregnancy. I still shudder when I think of some children and teens who, on their own accord, told me that they wished they had been aborted rather than live the lives they were cursed to by being unwanted children. Abortion isn't just an issue of women's rights... it's an issue of HUMAN rights and it is an issue of social justice. We can't protect these children the way we should and THAT is the crime. Not abortion.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Mark Olmsted
essayist, blogger, activist
05:55 PM on 03/05/2010
SG - I almost called this "the right to not be born."
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
robbcoffee
03:07 PM on 03/05/2010
I personally think the most important pro-choice argument is that pro-life has no practical policy use.
Pro-life "policies" can accomplish no more than making abortions more dangerous, women more terrified, and the non-dangerous prisoner count in our prisons higher.
Pro-life fails because it focuses on grandiose principles rather than policies and actions that can reduce the demand for abortion and increase communication about it.
Pro-lifers and pro-choicers can agree on the value of making abortions less common.

Also, I'm not so big on trying to draw up a static difference based on trimester. A majority of the so-called "partial birth abortions" are medical surgeries that take place when the woman is in danger and more often than not the child is likely to have a defect, often a mortal one.
No one but a doctor and patient should be weighing the risks and possibilities when such a difficult choice is made.
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Daphydd
Lets play some music
02:14 PM on 03/05/2010
I think of one of the failures on the pro-choice side (that's me folks) is to distinguish between fetuses aborted early, and those later. Its easy to get people riled up when an aborted fetus is recognizably human as opposed to well before that. Technology has allowed us to see the unborn in unprecedented ways. The only compromise position I can see between pro-choice and pro-life would be 1) abortion being legal and easy to have prior to some number of months determined by neurologists and subject to adjustment, and 2) abortion being difficult after that, along with substantial support for every mother and child through birth and early childhood and beyond.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
18
12:58 PM on 03/06/2010
statistics like this you mean...52% of all abortions occur before the 9th week of pregnancy, 25% happen between the 9th & 10th week, 12% happen between the 11th and 12th week, 6% happen between the 13th & 15th week, 4% happen between the 16th & 20th week, and 1% of all abortions (16,450/yr.) happen after the 20th week of pregnancy.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sheria Reid
02:01 PM on 03/05/2010
I appreciate your stressing that no one is pro abortion. In the ideal world every child would be conceived in love and be wanted. But this world is far from ideal and I don't envy any woman who is faced with what I consider to be the most personal of all choices. For me that's what I support, a woman's right to choose. I find Stupak and those who follow his line of belief to be hypocrits of the worst order. They are not concerned for the unborn as much as they are concerned with imposing their will on others. I think far too many people get the argument wrong. They boil it down to a right to kill, something that no one is demanding. It's about the right to choose, to make a monumental decision that will determine the course of the rest of a woman's life and the potential life that she carries. I tthink that your closing lines are a powerful summation of the real issue; every child should be born into a world in which he or she is wanted.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SmileAndActNice
Utilitarianism, the -ism that works.
03:08 PM on 03/05/2010
Trying to make pregnant women a special sub-class who are not permitted to refuse to give of their bodies to another is absurd. It is even more absurd when the "other" is imaginary, but in no other situation would anyone in America consider it reasonable for ANYONE to assert rights over the flesh of another on the grounds that, "It won't kill them for me to take it and I'll die without it".

So even if you believe a mindless clump of cells is a person, you still have to classify pregnant women as less than people to say that the others has greater rights to her body than she does. That is how we treat animals, not people.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Mark Olmsted
essayist, blogger, activist
01:50 PM on 03/05/2010
I made the mistake of not pointing out that a huge percentage of abortions are to women who already have children. They know exactly what it takes, financially and psychologically. They recognize their capacity to adequately raise the children they have as threatened by the possibility of another child, not to mention their own life. Often these women are in abusive relationships and the child is a result of marital rape. Try getting out of such a marriage with a new baby.
The right to choose goes hand in hand with capacity not to get pregnant in the first place, because all options are offerred in the educational context of full reproductive services. When Planned Parenthood and a full range of reproductive services are available, abortions are reduced because contraception is increased. Educated women and teenage girls are far more likely to feel empowered to say "no" to a man who won't use a condom, or to go on the pill. I'll start respecting the position of right-to-lifers when they are also the fiercest advocates of sex education and access to contraception. They are quite the opposite.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
skatoolaki
Passionate, fiery walking contradiction.
02:28 PM on 03/05/2010
Good points all, as well, Mark.

I wrote a piece on abortion and my thoughts once and that was the point I brought up. Where are all these pro-lifers when these "fetuses" and "babies" are children, teens, or young adults suffering through poverty, juvenile delinquency, abuse, etc.? Where are they when these same young people become inmates on death throw - most of them are usually the first to want to throw the switch.

They'll never see it that way, but it's true. What you insist should be born today needs taking care of later. It's easy to force a woman to have a child she doesn't want or can't afford - and it's easy to then walk away and let her deal with it and the child suffer because of it; not your problem anymore - the fetus survived, right?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
18
01:07 PM on 03/05/2010
I am glad to see a man stick up for a women's right to choose.

Men have no right telling a woman she cannot have an abortion. If men could get pregnant, we would not be having this debate. We'd see abortion clinics on every corner and ads for abortions like we see ads for erectile dysfunction.
12:51 PM on 03/05/2010
You are giving already born children privileges over concibed but unborn children.

The fact that a child was or wasn't planned doesn't make him more or less valuable as a human being.
If we can kill an unborn because he is not wanted, then, why don't we go to jails (to use ur same cases) and just kill all the guys that were unwanted?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
18
01:03 PM on 03/05/2010
This argument is a red herring. Over 90% of abortions are made to fetuses that are not viable to live outside the womb. Until then, the woman should have complete control over her own body, including the fetus growing inside her.

Until the so called pro-life people care more about people once they are outside the womb, they have no credibility with me.
03:22 PM on 03/05/2010
Playing god again, deciding who lives and who deserves to die.
Why not fighting for BOTH lives, instead of choosing one?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
eddiestardust
12:21 AM on 03/06/2010
And who chooses viability? You perhaps?

One child might not be termed viable but God terms it viable and it's called a miracle.

I was one such miracle in 1956
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Mark Olmsted
essayist, blogger, activist
01:29 PM on 03/05/2010
What do you think poverty does? A life spent in and out of prison? The right-to-lifers care about the idea of life, but don't care about quality of life (Terry Schiavo being a perfect case in point). They are the first to support the death penalty, prison construction, the evisceration of anti-poverty programs under the rubic of "welfare cheats." Why aren't they adopting all those foster children taken from abusive households they insisted be born? They are too busy denying gay people an opportunity to love them.
Of course once a child is born, he/she is equal to every other child and deserves every chance to thrive--which is why healthcare reform is so important. Stupak's logic values a particular definition of life over the real lives of real women and children.
03:20 PM on 03/05/2010
Who make you judge to say that Terry Schiavo is better dead than alive? Who decided the cut-off for saying which live is worth living and which one deserves to die? What makes you different from the Spartans killing the "unfit"?

I have a problem too with pro-life people being pro death penalty. For me, that's nonsense.