iPhone app iPad app Android phone app Android tablet app More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Marlise Karlin

GET UPDATES FROM Marlise Karlin
 

Gorgeous Gossip Revealed

Posted: 05/ 3/2012 4:08 pm

gossipMiss Universe, what a perfect show to watch, relaxing with a friend while on vacation, lights out, lying in bed, just passing time. One beautiful woman after the next -- or were they?

Apparently not. My friend and I seemed to share similar views on what didn't work -- poor thing, that bathing suit is all wrong... Why would you ever fix your hair like that... and can you believe she said that?? Or wore that dress?!

On and on, we chatted, idly passing clever suggestions to the ladies onscreen that could "help" them look better, be smarter, have more talent. It never occurred to us that we might be passing judgment, throwing stones in a glass house, as they say. Not once.

Until my friend picked up her tape recorder, the one that she was trying to set earlier to capture ideas we had for a script we were writing -- the one that had accidently been recording unbeknownst to us. When she hit the replay button, we both went silent.

Lying motionless in the darkened hotel room, the voices we heard were unrecognizable. Who were those women, ripping into everything, having a point of view that clearly made them the ultimate "experts" of good taste, class, talent, or anything worthy of those "oh-so-clever" comments they were dishing out. These heartless purveyors spread their brand of negativity into the ethers without a thought for those it could harm -- including themselves.

It was a marker in my life, and the end of gossip -- speaking or listening to it. Neither one of us will ever forget that night, gifted to us, to become aware, to become conscious of the needless pain we were adding to the world. How many people have been hurt by words directly or inadvertently spoken that instill the heartbreak and sorrow they so often bring? I was a recipient as well, and here I was passing on these unconscious patterns of humanity.

Words emanate into an energy field that surrounds us; they are like arrows and can shoot sparks of love into our hearts or daggers that remain for years, leaving scars of mistrust in our future life choices. It didn't matter that the women we spoke of couldn't hear our words -- we did, and we realized the repercussions would reach farther than just the room we were in.

Gregg Braden, scientist and bestselling author of Deep Truth, states, "What happens in the oceans has meaning for the climate of the mountains ... The choices that you and I make as we express our beliefs in our living rooms ... have meaning for the people in our immediate lives, as well as for those living halfway around the world."

I was given an extraordinary gift that night -- I became "aware" of my unconscious behavior. Now, I could break free of past conditioning. I could choose not to continue fruitless cycles of pain by creating new patterns, and by sending out love and kindness instead. Imagine this being the new habit of choice... speaking words that reveal the heart of beauty in all...

For more by Marlise Karlin, click here.

For more on mindfulness, click here.

 

Follow Marlise Karlin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/marlisekarlin

FOLLOW HEALTHY LIVING
 
 
  • Comments
  • 3
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Recency  | 
Popularity
06:12 PM on 05/09/2012
Thank you for writing such a relevant and timely article Marlise. I myself have on occasion said things that once reflected on, made me cringe. In a world where there is so much criticism in the media, and in our own homes even, we should be focused on how to bolster each other up with positivity and encouragement. I imagine that many of us can relate to this mis-step, only not all of us have the courage to own to it. Thank you.
09:20 AM on 05/04/2012
This is true, but the revelation is often absent for those who indeed enjoy the behavior. The problem today is that it is meant, intended and delivered with malice. Often this is done within the most inappropriate settings, such as the workplace. This is a place where one must arrive daily in order to support their families.

A hostage situation of anxiety and stress that produces depression, PTSD, and a sense of being within a war zone daily. Fight or flight is a natural uncontrollable response to a pressure cooker of negativity.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Marlise Karlin
Ignite the Power of Peace in You
07:47 PM on 05/09/2012
It is so true, there is a tremendous amount of unconsciousness that becomes malicious talk... which is very hurtful. And, there is a way out, where you don't have to join in, and can possibly even turn the conversation around.

People who have learned the methods i teach, find they can no longer be around this level of negativity and have used their new skills to bring these conversations to a halt. Many tell me, that their intention is now so strong, that people no longer speak in this way in their company. And, if you can't seem to turn it around, or it feels unsafe to do so, then getting away from the situation is a good idea - and resetting the dial on your own peace of mind is a way to change that vibration for you and everyone.