Miss Universe, what a perfect show to watch, relaxing with a friend while on vacation, lights out, lying in bed, just passing time. One beautiful woman after the next -- or were they?
Apparently not. My friend and I seemed to share similar views on what didn't work -- poor thing, that bathing suit is all wrong... Why would you ever fix your hair like that... and can you believe she said that?? Or wore that dress?!
On and on, we chatted, idly passing clever suggestions to the ladies onscreen that could "help" them look better, be smarter, have more talent. It never occurred to us that we might be passing judgment, throwing stones in a glass house, as they say. Not once.
Until my friend picked up her tape recorder, the one that she was trying to set earlier to capture ideas we had for a script we were writing -- the one that had accidently been recording unbeknownst to us. When she hit the replay button, we both went silent.
Lying motionless in the darkened hotel room, the voices we heard were unrecognizable. Who were those women, ripping into everything, having a point of view that clearly made them the ultimate "experts" of good taste, class, talent, or anything worthy of those "oh-so-clever" comments they were dishing out. These heartless purveyors spread their brand of negativity into the ethers without a thought for those it could harm -- including themselves.
It was a marker in my life, and the end of gossip -- speaking or listening to it. Neither one of us will ever forget that night, gifted to us, to become aware, to become conscious of the needless pain we were adding to the world. How many people have been hurt by words directly or inadvertently spoken that instill the heartbreak and sorrow they so often bring? I was a recipient as well, and here I was passing on these unconscious patterns of humanity.
Words emanate into an energy field that surrounds us; they are like arrows and can shoot sparks of love into our hearts or daggers that remain for years, leaving scars of mistrust in our future life choices. It didn't matter that the women we spoke of couldn't hear our words -- we did, and we realized the repercussions would reach farther than just the room we were in.
Gregg Braden, scientist and bestselling author of Deep Truth, states, "What happens in the oceans has meaning for the climate of the mountains ... The choices that you and I make as we express our beliefs in our living rooms ... have meaning for the people in our immediate lives, as well as for those living halfway around the world."
I was given an extraordinary gift that night -- I became "aware" of my unconscious behavior. Now, I could break free of past conditioning. I could choose not to continue fruitless cycles of pain by creating new patterns, and by sending out love and kindness instead. Imagine this being the new habit of choice... speaking words that reveal the heart of beauty in all...
For more by Marlise Karlin, click here.
For more on mindfulness, click here.
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