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Marlise Karlin

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When Just Saying No Is Not Enough

Posted: 08/06/09 04:51 PM ET

Waking up feeling really bad, knowing you crossed a line, being angry with yourself... I remember those days... Or should I say years. No matter what form we find it in -- addiction is not fun; drugs, alcohol, overeating, overworking, smoking or sex. It never fills the hole inside that is silently crying out, 'I want to feel good, I want to be happy, I want to know that everything is going to work out okay...'

Stillness can take you to a place where you find answers to unsolvable questions, where previously unconcealed walls -- disappear.

At a very early age, my abusive father told me who he thought I was -- that left me feeling small, with no love for myself and a belief that I would never find that security we all long for. His words locked me in a prison of new-found addictions I felt would free me.

A CEO in Amsterdam who gave up drinking a quart of whisky a day, an angry teen in Los Angeles who walked away from an abusive relationship she'd been in for years, a college student in Mississippi who signed up for an overeater's clinic within a month, and a Maasai warrior who gave up alcohol overnight -- they are just a few of the many people living with addiction who found that practicing The Simplicity of Stillness supported them in filling that insatiable hole.

As the restrictive borders of our unconscious habits are brought into clarity, we begin living with a sense of true freedom. By taking just a bit of time to reboot ourselves, we become more in balance with all of life, where we discover quite naturally that love and security we were always searching for... is coming from within.

1. The Practice of Stillness: Take a bit of time each week to reboot your system. Find a quiet space, breathe deep, listen to a Stillness Session CD Allow the energy of stillness emanating through the music and the words to assist you in connecting to your true nature. Feel the power of the moment... of pure peace... and bring it with you into your day.

2. Recommit: When you fall down, get up, don't beat yourself up, get clear on what you want and recommit to it again. What will you no longer do? When you know - write down your commitment - to what you will do. Add to your daily regime whatever gives you greater health and well-being - start with a week, then make it two, then three. Too many restrictions will strangle you. Find what works, and then expand on it once you have tackled it with ease.

3. Slow It Down & Step Away: Sometimes old patterns try to rob us of our happiness. When someone comes at you in anger -- or fear and worry over a situation makes you want what isn't good for you -- slow it down & step away. Imagine everything moving in slow motion and step away from the situation. (If with someone, let them know you will return) Give yourself breathing room to see clearly -- and you will.

4. Contemplate: We can create our lives to be more in balance and one that we really enjoy when we see what it is we value. If you're unhappy -- ask yourself -- what do I really want? Based on how you want to feel in the long run, will guide you to knowing what it will take to get there, starting now. Step 1 helps find the answers; step 2 brings them to life.

5. Daily Intention: Create an intention to guide you and set the tone for the day. Here is one I enjoy:

Today is a new day... doors close... and doors open. Today I can create more ways to bring Stillness into my life. I can live with more peace in my heart, more love and compassion for those who can't see it, can't touch it, don't know it exists. Today, walls will crumble... and new ones will be built. Today is a great day...

 

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