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Marlo Thomas

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Catholic School and Helen Gurley Brown

Posted: 08/15/2012 12:23 pm

What I remember most from 12 years of Catholic school, is that everything having to do with boys is a sin. And we had better believe it. One day a classmate at Marymount raised her hand in religion class and asked, "Is French kissing a mortal sin?" The nun answered without hesitation: "Yes." We all knew that if you died with a mortal sin on your soul, you went straight to Hell -- so if we were even considering this French kissing thing, we were taking eternity into our own hands.

French kissing and murder -- all the same in God's book.

Imagine the thrill that sprang through all of us -- we who grew up wearing those navy blue jumpers and white blouses -- when, years later, we breathlessly leafed through the pages of Helen Gurley Brown's explosive 1962 book, Sex And The Single Girl, which described in unblushing detail a step-by-step strategy by which women could embrace their most secret sexual urges. Three weeks after its publication, the book had sold 3,000,000 copies.

By then my Marymount classmates and I had left our blue jumpers far behind, along with the nun's fiery lessons. But some part of those flames still burned.

Before there was Erica Jong or Fifty Shades of Grey, there was Helen Gurley Brown, the pioneering publishing icon who passed away on Monday at the age of 90. A secretary-turned-copywriter-turned author, Helen rocked the culture with her revolutionary ideas about women and sexuality -- and she did so without fear or apology.

I know, I know, there is plenty to debate about Brown's brand of feminism -- her signature Cosmopolitan magazine referred to women as "girls," and its covers regularly featured models with puffed-up cleavage and headlines that promised man-snaring advice.

But her landmark book freed young women of the early '60s, permitting them to reconsider their mothers' (and their teachers') admonishments about boys and men -- "Males are animals, females are their trainers" or " Why buy the cow if you can get the milk free?" (Feel free to add your own.) It took some doing to untangle our sexiest selves from the memory of those warnings. We can laugh now, but there were many such lessons to rethink, and they all added up to the same conclusion: sexuality belonged to men; and taming boys, restraining your sensuality, and finding matrimonial security were women's work.

But Helen changed all of that. And though her ideas weren't as scholarly as Betty Friedan's or as scientific as Kinsey's, she was every bit a godmother of the sexual revolution.

So farewell, Helen -- with gratitude from a Marymount girl who agonized about all those boy feelings. You were the first and, at the time, only teacher to reveal that those feelings were not sinful. They were normal and exciting. You were my first experience with the "lib" of "Women's Liberation."

 

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What I remember most from 12 years of Catholic school, is that everything having to do with boys is a sin. And we had better believe it. One day a classmate at Marymount raised her hand in religion cl...
What I remember most from 12 years of Catholic school, is that everything having to do with boys is a sin. And we had better believe it. One day a classmate at Marymount raised her hand in religion cl...
 
 
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05:54 PM on 08/24/2012
@Mike in San Pedro, Tootsie56, SqueekyWheelz, et al -- Have read all texts on this blog exiting from your poison pen. I must say you speak like a well seasoned libertines, duly obsessed with sex and quite wrongly placing blame for all misinformation and negative vives on that particular subject matter doled out by --of all people-- NUNS!
Would you kindly take a step back and look at your [and Marlo Thomas'] mud splattering against the habit-wearing-crowd from a different perspective?
First of all, even though there might be some nuns who entered the convent life late, and might have 'tasted' some pre-connubial 'pleasures', on the overwhelming whole they are by their own will, 'virgins' consecrated to Christ's service. So why the H did anyone foolishly expect them to give advice on matters of sex?
Secondly, how many of you now blaming them and laughing about them got the proper advice from your own parents when, and IF, you asked? Wasn't theirs the actual obligation to instruct their children in those matters? Face it, the ULTIMATE responsibility on education is meant to be on the shoulders of parents. Stop blaming the nuns! They were ignorant on the subject. Accept it and move on!!
04:29 AM on 08/20/2012
The real revolutionaries were the scientists who developed the contraceptive pill and the lawyers who handled Griswold v. Connecticut, the 1963 case which finally legalized the use of contraception. Before Griswold, contraceptive use was illegal in most states.

Brown was no sexual revolutionary. The so-called sexual revolution was the brainchild of men, popularized by Hugh Hefner and his Playboy idea that women were merely playmates, objects for men to enjoy and discard, advocating easy contraception and abortion to make casual loveless sex more available to men. Brown's role was to propagandize women into accepting the new male order, to become Cosmo girls sexually available to men who would never care for them. Brown paved the way for today's loveless hookup culture which has some 40% of American kids growing up without fathers and in poverty, and a quarter of young women infected with STDs.

Brown made money playing into the hands of the patriarchy and helping men to win the war against women. Since Brown, women are referred to with a profane b-word and worse. Antidepressant and drug use is epidemic among young women dealing with hookup lovelessness. Such progress.

A feminist would urge women toward education and economic independence. Instead Brown urged women to waste time and money on fashion and attracting men in order to hook a man and become a fawning dependent. Anti-feminism at its peak.
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HudsonGal
01:17 PM on 08/19/2012
Amazing woman, she guided me in many ways as a young woman! My catholic school nun told me that French kissing was a form of intercourse?!? I must have had a lot of mortal sins then ;-)
08:22 PM on 08/18/2012
She always spooked me whenever she showed up on tv in the early 80's when I was a little girl.
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RichStine
Pro-Post-Womb-Lifer
12:52 PM on 08/17/2012
FYI: For those interested, check out the New Yorker Magazine's Bob Mankoff, here:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/cartoonists/2012/08/helen-gurley-brown.html#entry-more

An unfettered and delightful read, a tribute of sorts, to the late Helen Gurley Brown...and, of course, the funnier side of sex, women and overall enthrallings of historical relevance of the modern girl, modern woman, and society, at large.

I smile.
08:45 AM on 08/17/2012
They didn't need sex ed or abstinence courses in those day: Decent living for faith and family was a way of thinking and a way of life. And even before contraception and abortion, the nonmarital birth rate in those environments was approaching zero. Danny Thomas would've swallowed a lemon before polluting the airwaves with dirty jokes. I was on a conference call with Steve Allen once on this subject and he became quite the crusader against it before he died. People just sneer at all that now but the framework for maximum happiness is an emphasis on abstinence before marriage and fidelity within it.
09:01 PM on 08/17/2012
If people who weren't married truly practiced abstinence, then how come shotgun marriages were so common back then? Also, why did many young women get sent to homes for unwed mothers to have their babies and then put them up for adoption?
09:43 PM on 08/17/2012
nonmarital births then-- 5%; now 40%
nbb
332-206
05:58 AM on 08/17/2012
Big questions raised here. I don't disagree with any points raised here by Ms. Thomas, but only one very small part is addressed here. More: Is there a hell? If so, do those of us who go astray face the prospect of flames lapping at our heels for all eternity? Why would a Maker who (we're told) loves us let that be? Apparently what one believes is the very essence of what matters in determining long-term fate, but if like many of us, you can't get your head wrapped around some of the farther reaching tenets of the faith, would a loving Almighty condemn you?
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06:16 PM on 08/16/2012
I also went through 12 years of catholic school - and a catholic college. I think those remarks may have been intended to be funny, but they are so unfair. I'm tired of hearing people get a laugh out of denigrating catholicism and catholic education. It is not a true characterization of what catholic education was. I feel very grateful to the women who educated me - and for nothing!
07:39 PM on 08/16/2012
I've been through 12 years of Catholic education and I can assure you that for many of us what we were taught doesn't pass the straight face test. Try reading more widely and getting some other perspectives. If you still feel that the Church is on the right track, fine. If not, be brave and find your own way.
05:58 PM on 08/16/2012
Didn't any of those girls have an older sister or a sophisticated friend--as I did--who gave them Vatican- or parent-censored information? Perhaps your good girl shame erased those naughty exchanges from your mind. Whatever, Go Marlo.
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Growup2290
Where are my keys??
05:48 PM on 08/16/2012
..and the patriarchy has been punishing us for it since. That's ALL the Pro Forced Pregnancy group is about - punishing women for their equal sexual freedom with men. And they have the gaul to hide behind the "unborn children" to do it. Sick.
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Alois SaintMartin
aloistmartinsequinox.blogspot.com
05:37 PM on 08/16/2012
Is Paul Ryan the future Voice, of American-Roman Catholism ?
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Joseph Raymond Herrera
07:57 PM on 08/16/2012
I also was educated in a 12 years catholic school. As a boy, and yes, girl’s things were sin, but because we wanted too much. In a Jesuit school you learned about sin but also about self restraint. And at the end we learned to love our women. Not only that, we learned to take care of the poor and risk our lives if necessary. We got prison in Latin america, and priests (Jesuits) and nuns (Maryknoll) gave their lives. This is not the model Ryan will follow.
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04:10 PM on 08/16/2012
Well, women are certainly free to express themselves sexually in our culture now. Just noticed the US has the highest teenage pregnancy percentage in the world. If that is progress then I think I prefer the conservative approach.
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AH1125
Atheist, bisexual, female...
05:45 PM on 08/16/2012
And it's only that high because we still refuse to lift our taboos on birth control
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Nicole Dominique
Snarko-American living a socialist Canadian dream
09:35 PM on 08/16/2012
Damn good point. The patriarchs in the Republican Party want to get rid of birth control so that women will go back to fearing having sex (and then remove abortion so they'll be *forced* to stay home and raise the kid). As GrowUp2290 pointed out, it has nothing to do with babies or killing. It's all about enslaving women.

Needless to say, there are no proposed laws on the GOP plate going after men who impregnate women & then don't want to take care of their sperm donations.
04:00 PM on 08/16/2012
Does Marlo Thomas consider herself to be a Catholic? Just curious. I know her father was.