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Marlo Thomas

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Father's Day: What We Learned at Dad's Knee

Posted: 06/14/2012 11:05 am

Sometimes in the wee hours of the morning I'd hear that funny sound of an audiotape being rewound. Running backwards it sounded like a Swedish movie. I'd get out of bed and go into Dad's study. And there he'd be -- listening, taking notes, going over his act from his last nightclub engagement and getting it ready for the next.

"You hear that, Mugs?" he'd say. "That's a big laugh, but the one after it is weak. You have to pace the laughs. I'm gonna put a song in there." He had an ear for the rhythm, the music of the comedy.

My father's respect for the audience was his compass. When he hunched over the tape recorder like that, he was shaping the act for them -- not for himself, not for the critics. And when I went to Las Vegas and saw the act working the way I had watched him put it together, it was exciting. I felt like a co-conspirator, a rooting section.

But first and foremost, I was a daughter. And though he may not have known it, I was learning at his knee -- about the love of work, and the integrity of professionalism.

Not all kids go into their dad's professions, but for those of us who did, there was a wide array of reasons.

For the Kennedys, the children were instilled with leadership by their patriarch, Joe, and each assumed that role when it was his or turn, almost as an obligation. For the Ripken men of the Baltimore Orioles -- now celebrating a third-generation wearing black and orange -- it was a more natural kind of inheritance, one that began with something as simple as playing catch in the backyard and then grew into a beloved legacy. For Nat and Natalie Cole, it was all about continuity -- keeping that beautiful music playing.

I wasn't expected to go into show business. In fact, my father was very much against the idea. He knew firsthand how bruising the business can be, and he wanted to spare me the pain. He was also very practical. Already a star himself, he told me point-blank that it was a long shot that lightning would strike twice in the same family, and that I should rethink what I wanted to do with my life.

But by then, I was already a goner. Maybe it's fate, maybe it's DNA -- but I'd like to believe that, when we were young, our fathers gave us more than just guidance, or advice, or an allowance, or help with our homework. They taught us life by example. And when we watched them in their careers, we got to see their triumphs and their failures up close. And if we watched them close enough -- and we were lucky -- we sometimes got to witness the deep satisfaction and unchecked joy that comes from doing what you love.

And so on this Father's Day, I once again look heavenward and thank my sweet ol' dad for giving his oldest kid the space to defy his wishes about becoming a teacher or a housewife or the junior Senator from California -- because she decided she liked what she saw in her Pop, and she went with that. And by the way, Daddy, she's very, very happy.

We've compiled a slideshow of some other celebrated dads, along with the children who followed in their footsteps. I can't think of a better way to honor Father's Day. I hope you enjoy it.

Loading Slideshow...
  • Marlo and Danny Thomas

    My father, actor/comedian Danny Thomas, is best known for his successful television career and as the founder of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. I learned so much from him about the love of performing and followed his lead into my own acting career. His untiring caring for others was a great example to my sister, brother and me. And to this day, we are all passionate about raising funds for the children of St. Jude.

  • Francis Ford and Sophia Coppola

    Known as one of today's most influential Hollywood directors, it's no wonder that Francis Ford Coppola's daughter, Sophia Coppola, grew up to be the first American woman nominated for the Academy Award for Directing.

  • Muhammad and Laila Ali

    Though it initially worried boxing legend Muhammad Ali, his daughter Laila Ali followed in his footsteps and had a successful career in women's boxing, winning two Super Middleweight Champion titles.

  • Arthur and Roger Kornberg

    Two generations of Kornbergs have won Nobel Prizes. Father Arthur Kornberg was a biochemist who won the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine and son Roger Kornberg is a biochemist and professor at Stanford University who won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry.

  • Jerry and Ben Stiller

    Funny man Jerry Stiller passed the gift of comedy down to his son Ben Stiller. While the elder Stiller is best known for his television roles, Ben has been most successful in films.

  • Princes Charles, William and Harry

    Princes William and Harry were born into royalty and mirror their father's efforts to serve their country. Aside from their royal duties, both princes pursued military careers and Prince William supports various humanitarian causes.

  • Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus

    Country star Billy Ray Cyrus passed his love for performing on to daughter Miley Cyrus, a pop singer and actress who is best known for her role in the Disney Channel's TV show "Hannah Montana".

  • Kingsley and Martin Amis

    British writer and poet Kingsley Amis has been noted as one of the chief comic novelists in Britain. His son, Martin Amis is equally accomplished, and has penned some of Britain's best-known novels, including "Money" and "London Fields".

  • Jon Voight and Angelina Jolie

    Despite a rocky relationship with her father, actress Angelina Jolie pursued the same career as award-winning actor Jon Voight, who became a star in the 1960s and 70s after acting in films like "Deliverance", "Midnight Cowboy" and "The Champ".

  • Jesse and Jesse Jackson Jr.

    Legendary civil rights leader Jesse Jackson inspired his namesake, Jesse Jackson Jr., to pursue a career in politics and activism. Jesse Jackson Jr. currently serves as a U.S. Representative for Illinois'' 2nd congressional district.

  • Al and Al Unser Jr.

    A love of speed runs in the Unser family. Race car driver Al Unser influenced his son, Al Unser Jr. to continue the family's racing legacy. Both men have won the Indianapolis 500.

  • Tom and Colin Hanks

    Popular actor Tom Hanks' eldest son, Colin Hanks, is also an actor who has had several major roles in film and on TV.

  • George and George W. Bush

    George H.W. Bush, who served as 41st President of the United States, paved the way for his son, who served two terms as president only eight years later.

  • Robert and Alan Alda

    Theatrical and film actor Robert Alda was featured in a number of Broadway productions and films in both Europe and the United States in the 40s, 50s and 60s. His son, Alan Alda, is an Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winning actor best known for his role in the TV series "M*A*S*H".

  • Kirk and Michael Douglas

    Kirk Douglas is an American screen legend whose son, Michael Douglas, grew up to become a prolific actor in his own right.

  • Mario Cuomo and Andrew Cuomo

    Mario Cuomo, who served as the Governor of New York from 1983 - 1994 raised a second governor - his son, Andrew Cuomo, who currently serves in his father's former position.

  • Lloyd, Beau and Jeff Bridges

    Actor Lloyd Bridges is father to Beau Bridges and Jeff Bridges, both successful actors who have impressive filmographies under their belts.

  • Stephen King and Joe Hill

    Famous suspense author Stephen King is one of the best-known writers today. His talent for producing gripping novels was passed down to his son Joe King, who is commonly known by his pen name "Joe Hill," and is an established author and comic book writer.

  • Nat and Natalie Cole

    Natalie Cole was only 15 years old when her father, Nat King Cole, passed away, but she was always a daddy's girl. At only six years old, she performed his Christmas album and in the 1990s, she re-recorded some of his classic songs, which won her several Grammy awards.

  • Archie, Eli and Peyton Manning

    Quarterback Archie Manning must have had a knack for teaching others about his position, because two of his sons grew up to be quarterbacks in the NFL - Peyton Manning plays for the Denver Broncos and Eli Manning for the New York Giants.

  • Martin Luther King Jr. and Martin Luther King III

    Although civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated when his son Martin Luther King III was only 10 years old, he inspired his namesake to carry on his tradition of human rights advocacy. Martin Luther King III keeps his father's dream alive by serving as a community advocate and furthering his message of equality.

  • Tim and Luke Russert

    Though Luke Russert does not seek to replace his father who died from a tragic heart attack at age 58, he has chosen to follow in the footsteps of the late journalist and host of "Meet the Press". Luke reported on youth issues during the 2008 election and currently covers Capitol Hill for NBC News.

  • King George VI and Queen Elizabeth II

    King George VI served as King of the United Kingdom for nearly 16 years. His oldest daughter, Queen Elizabeth II has reigned over Great Britain for over 60 years, far outlasting her father's rule.

  • Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne

    Kelly Osbourne, daughter of heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne, has become a jack-of-all-trades in the world of showbiz, working as a TV personality, actress and singer.

  • Cecil Fielder and Prince Fielder

    Power hitter Cecil Fielder played baseball with a number of MLB teams and spent six years with the Detroit Tigers. His son, Prince Fielder, is now first baseman on the Tigers.

  • Henry and Jane Fonda

    Henry Fonda began as a Broadway actor and transitioned to Hollywood, acting in classic films like "12 Angry Men" and "The Grapes of Wrath". His daughter, writer and fitness instructor Jane Fonda inherited his love for performing and achieved success in showbiz.

  • Ted and Patrick Kennedy

    Influential Democratic Senator Ted Kennedy inspired his son, Patrick Kennedy to pursue a career in politics which led him to serve as a U.S. representative for Rhode Island's first congressional district for over 15 years.

  • John Rockefeller and John D. Rockefeller

    John D. Rockefeller, founder of the Standard Oil Company, passed his passion for business and philanthropy on to his son, John Rockefeller Jr. "Junior" took over the family business and donated to a variety of social causes, including cancer research, art, social sciences and education.

  • Ken and Ken Jr. Griffey

    Ken Griffey Sr. was a professional baseball outfielder who spent a great deal of his career playing for the Cincinnati Reds. His son, Ken Griffey Jr., also chose a career in baseball, playing as an outfielder and designated hitter primarily on the Seattle Mariners and Cincinnati Reds.

  • Mike and Chris Wallace

    Mike Wallace was a journalist, actor and media personality who interviewed many major newsmakers during his long career. Son Chris Wallace also joined the press when he grew up - he is currently the host of "Fox News Sunday" and had previously been a moderator on "Meet the Press".

 

Follow Marlo Thomas on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MarloThomas

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Sometimes in the wee hours of the morning I'd hear that funny sound of an audiotape being rewound. Running backwards it sounded like a Swedish movie. I'd get out of bed and go into Dad's study. And th...
Sometimes in the wee hours of the morning I'd hear that funny sound of an audiotape being rewound. Running backwards it sounded like a Swedish movie. I'd get out of bed and go into Dad's study. And th...
 
 
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08:54 PM on 06/17/2012
One thing that stands out in memory is my dad was always glad to see me.

He was good to everyone and treated them with respect. He didn't tolerate cruelty.

He never set me on his knee and told me anything. Neither did mom. With lots of brothers and sisters I learned from their mistakes as far as what was expected of us.

I picked up from Dad to always try to do what is right and be fair to others.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
GrownandFlown
...because parenting never ends.
04:15 PM on 06/17/2012
For a brief period of time, right after college, I worked in the same industry my father did. It added a dimension to our already close father-daughter ties. Since this was thirty years ago, I hadn't thought about those days until reading your post. Thanks for prompting a happy memory.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Humberto Guida
Producer - LatiNation / Comedian
03:03 PM on 06/17/2012
Isn't interesting that the top Father's Day story on the huffington post appears half way down the home page and is slated int he "Women's" section? It defintely speaks to the fact that this whole website has a major feminine bias. Why isn't there a "Men's" section? Or why have any section pertaining to gender at all?
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Amadahy
loves peanut M&Ms and Whippoorwills
07:10 PM on 06/17/2012
I noticed that too. :(
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Adolfo Arauz
Hugo Stiglitz, baby!
12:28 PM on 06/17/2012
You had a good one, Marlo. Danny's good works are running strong to this day---there's no greater honor. Good for you for continuing those good works.
11:23 AM on 06/17/2012
Dear Marlo, I think a lot of your father. I was a member of the St. Jude Children's Hospital Fund Raising Team in Jackson Team (Alsac). Many, many years ago. I visited the hospital your father started and was overwhelmed with the work being done in the name of God and your father. We asked your father to cut a short promotional tape for a fund raiser we were doing and he responded quickly to the note with appropriate comments. At the end of the note, their was a personal note from your dad to me saying thank you for the work we were doing. We raised $17,000.00 from that event which was a lot of money in 1975. I still contribute to St. Jude because it is a wonderful organization! Thank you and God bless you... John
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Paros
10:23 AM on 06/17/2012
Gag me - polyannaism
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rogo99
They're the new extreme right-you know...the rest
03:47 PM on 06/17/2012
Tell that to the kids and staff at St. Judes.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Paros
04:09 PM on 06/17/2012
my referent is not a person but the schlocky sentimentalism.
09:32 AM on 06/17/2012
Colin Hanks?
06:30 AM on 06/17/2012
Loved Danny Thomas !!!
10:35 PM on 06/15/2012
A Father’s Day Card for My Dad

Dad,

I stink at these holidays. I generally fail to send a card, so I wind up calling you on the phone late in the day. I’m a failure at holiday-invoked expressions of feeling. So this year, I’m taking a different tack and amplifying my Father’s Day message out into the public domain. You’ll either love it or be mortified.

As a tribute to you, I’m going to contribute to help meet Jean’s need at www.benevolent.net – a website that gives people the opportunity to help low-income individuals overcome hurdles. I feel compelled to help Jean because as a single mom she’s striving to be a nurse, and what’s holding her back is so basic – she needs special contacts to manage her eye condition just so she can see to study. I was a medical mess when I was young – glasses, braces, a back brace for scoliosis – and you shelled out a bunch for all those things and never, never made me feel that it was difficult or an imposition.

- Megan Kashner, Founder of Benevolent.net

To pay it forward in honor of your Dad this Father's Day:

- Contribute to any need on the www.Benevolent.net site

- Send us a quick email to dad@benevolent.net and we will let him know you were thinking of him.
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sweetpatriot
28,woman,healthcareworker,polyglot,bisexual.
12:18 AM on 06/15/2012
Following on my fathers footsteps becoming Physician Assistant, helping sick people get better, one patient at a time.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sportswoman
11:37 PM on 06/14/2012
Marlo, I must share this story my dad told me about your father. My pops was aboutto be shipped off to WWII in Europe. He was allotted a weekend pass home to Chicago, to say good bye to his mom, ultimately,my grandma. Problem was, he was short "carfare," as it was termed back inthe day. He was downtown atthe train station, when he spotted a weell dressed gentleman nearby, and decided to ask the man if he could spare some change for the bus ride to the south side, where she lived.
He tapped the man on the back shoulder, and politely asked for the carfare. He was stunned when the man turned around,smiled at him and said,
"Why sure, soldier," before handing him a $5.00 bill--a lot of money back then.
"It was DANNY THOMAS!" my dad told me, incredulous at that reality until his passing in 1984.
He not only became an instant fan of your dad's, but he also made sure our family made contributions to St. Jude's. Some celebs talk the talk, but your dad quietly and without fanfare walked the walk.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Laura Neville
social worker
10:39 PM on 06/14/2012
Your father was an exceptional person- and what a great tribute to him! While so many millions loved him for his comedy- the legacy that I most associate with him is the fund raising for St. Jude's. I think that your ability to continue the work speaks volumes. Thank you for writing such a lovely piece about a truly great man.
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AcademicFreedom
Often banned; always factual
10:27 PM on 06/14/2012
Danny was a great father; however, he raised a daughter that treats people lesser than her like dirt.
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09:38 PM on 06/14/2012
Danny Thomas was an inspiration to all of us.

Every child should have a dad (and a mom).
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Rogo99
They're the new extreme right-you know...the rest
03:48 PM on 06/17/2012
Every child does. Some just don't show up and take responsibility.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
04:53 PM on 06/17/2012
I'm not talking biologically. I'm talking about taking active roles in their lives as PARENTS.
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subdolphin
I do not read replies...Ever!
08:02 PM on 06/14/2012
You Ms.Thomas, are imminently qualified to tell us about good dads. I've always admired your father.
God bless him.