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Marlo Thomas

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What Your Kids Might Not Be Telling You

Posted: 12/01/11 07:06 AM ET

In case you need reminding from when you were a kid -- kids keep secrets from their parents. But there is one secret, for sure, that has to be brought out into the open... because it's killing them. And that secret is in some way they are involved in bullying. Maybe they're the bully, maybe they are the victim or maybe they' are a bystander but whatever the case, their parents need to know about it before another child dies.

In the coming months we are going to work on a campaign specifically to help parents engage their children in a conversation about this frightening part of their school days. Because we are all learning that there is a right way and a wrong way to approach this complicated issue, we are also going to seek out and bring families expert advice for the best way to handle these very difficult situations.

More than 30 years ago we created "Free to Be You and Me" as a way to send a message to parents to help their children know that whoever you are, whatever you look like, whatever you sound like or dress like, whichever way you may be different is not only okay--but something to celebrate.



I hope that our campaign which is in partnership with the Ad Council, the Department of Education and backed by great companies like AOL and Facebook to bring an effective bullying campaign to life that will educate parents about this horrible epidemic and allow children once again to be Free to be.

Please watch our video and share it with your friends.

One of the things I've learned this past year, is that there is no such thing as an innocent bystander--and that means all of us. We know about this problem now and if we stand by any longer, we are not innocent. We must come together to stop this. I am dedicated to it.

More information and resources are available now at StopBullying.gov.

 

Follow Marlo Thomas on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MarloThomas

In case you need reminding from when you were a kid -- kids keep secrets from their parents. But there is one secret, for sure, that has to be brought out into the open... because it's killing them. A...
In case you need reminding from when you were a kid -- kids keep secrets from their parents. But there is one secret, for sure, that has to be brought out into the open... because it's killing them. A...
 
 
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04:21 AM on 11/20/2011
Free to Be You and Me, a Marlo Thomas project, knew the importance of specifically being anti-bully, when the film was on the airwaves back in 1974, was widely distributed through the school system when I was a kid...and now, apparently, entirely ignored today, by kids as well as governmental leaders. Why?
02:59 AM on 11/15/2011
So what can We do about the Government Bullying Americans with Draconian Laws..
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pslcitizen
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
12:49 AM on 11/15/2011
Talk to your kids parents... You have to start the conversation if you expect them to talk to you.
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SuperDaveOsborn
12:26 AM on 11/15/2011
Bullies bully becasue they've been (or are bullied) themselves, either at home or at school and this horror perpetuates itself into multiple suicides by the victims and also the bullies later on; as they face the mirror and see the monsters they've become - so for society to do nothing or to excuse this as a "Rite Of Passage" just sickens me - and the only REMEDY is hit back hard & fast at the parents, the schools, by suing the crap out of anyone, or any institutution, that is not immediately taking severe action against this form of traumatic hell that too many kids live in !!!

And YES, sue the cops for not responding to this as they would to any other Terror Threat !!!
12:14 AM on 11/15/2011
This is a worthy cause. It seems like everywhere I turn, I read another heartbreaking case of a child committing suicide because of bullying. What makes these kids feel like they don't have anywhere to run or anyone to whom they can turn? I'm going to hazard a guess that with more of our lives being spent online, there are fewer places the bullies can't reach their victims. I believe the internet has brought and inspired many wonderful things, but this is a grim side effect that cries out for a solution.
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oceanview136
The Truth and Nothing but the Truth
09:41 PM on 11/14/2011
Bullying is COMPLETELY different today, than it was when most of us were growing up !! What has changed it ??? Answer Facebook, and other social media sites !!! Children are able to get on these sites and say the most hurtful things about a child to dozens of other children almost immediately !! It would be great if some of these children DEFENDED the child, instead of agreeing with the bully !!!
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SuperDaveOsborn
12:18 AM on 11/15/2011
UNFORTUNATELY - Girls are no longer made of sugar & spice & everything nice, for it's GIRLS that bully other girls on FACEBOOK & such, that are our Modern Day Scourge- and this worst than the Salem Witch Trials days, when teen girls who didn't like to be told what to do by older women, and would then make up things about these hapless souls, that others believed enough to set these poor women on fire !!!
08:11 PM on 11/14/2011
Jesus H jumping christ!! Bullying is about growing up. We can't outlaw it, we can't stop it. Its the real world folks. And we certainly aren't making our children any stronger by always bringing in counselors every time something bad happens in their life. They need to learn and grow and deal with these things.
When my eldest was in 8th grade there was a bully tormenting him. Finally the bully stepped over the line by physically attacking him. My son stopped that right quick and defended himself. When I arrived at the school I was told the situation and the counselor got all upset when I told him that I approved of my son's response. The counselor said that I was an unfit role model and that I was being unrealistic. I replied by saying he needed to get out of his ivory tower and look around at the real world. I also promptly pulled my son out of public school and went back to home schooling.
Bullying is about growing and developing. My coddling our kids we are definitely not doing them any favors.
11:00 PM on 11/14/2011
Not all children are the same as yours, Scholls need to step up and help these children.
07:37 PM on 11/14/2011
are there any laws against bullying? how do you define it?
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SuperDaveOsborn
12:20 AM on 11/15/2011
Terroristic Threats - Dial 911 damn it !!!
06:55 PM on 11/15/2011
911 would get angry
03:54 PM on 11/14/2011
If the schools would allow the bullied student to fight back it would stop. I was beat on every morning on my walk to my third grade class. Two mean girls and a boy. The boy even stabbed me in the arm with a pencil and the lead broke off. I told the principal and my teachers but the ringleader was the spoiled grandaughter of the principal. So it was all my fault. I made the highest grades in our small school and my parents were nobody special so that did not go over well with the school. I was also a very cute, talented kid and when the IQ tests were given, my pal and I made the highest scores. That sealed my fate. However,one day my big sister, in High School, walked me to school and threatened the little snots with deadly force and they never bothered me again.
04:14 PM on 11/14/2011
Darter...you are so right....People do NOT understand that when you give the bully a good dose of their own medicine they STOP. The bully KNOWS that if they pick on you....you WILL fight back. Even if you lose they still leave you alone because the bully KNOWS you will fight back.
09:22 PM on 11/14/2011
My son defended a little girl was was being bullied by FOUR boys in 4th grade. He caught them afterschool, on school grounds tormenting the girl, pulling her hair, shoving her, calling her names, and ruining her stuff, throwing it in the boys bathroom, etc. My son stood by himself and told them to stop. One of the boys punched my son in the face. So, my son, as I taught both my boys, if you can walk away then do so, but don't EVER stand there and LET someone beat on you! So, he fought back. Of course, THEN a teacher came around and caught them. My son was then suspended for the "zero tolerance" policy. I flipped out when he came home and told me this! I then went to the school only to find the father of the girl already there fighting on behalf of my son's innocence. I threatened that if it happened I would make sure EVERYONE heard about this, and I would make charges against the boys, and sue the School. They backed down quick. Kids HAVE to have an ability to stand up for themselves without facing reprocussions for doing so. You cannot expect someone to stand there and take a beating, to only punish them with the same punishment as the offender gets. So, he's supposed to be beat up, bruised, in pain, for NOT standing up for himself, but them FOR standing up face the same penalty? Its stupid!
03:15 PM on 11/14/2011
put the bullies parents in jail
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SuperDaveOsborn
12:21 AM on 11/15/2011
FINALLY - a smart reply !!!
01:19 AM on 11/15/2011
well said
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BiggpussJr
pissin em off one comment at a time.
02:35 PM on 11/14/2011
These comment are so funny!! " Its the teachers fault", "charge the parents", "take em to church" etc.,etc., Bullying will get worse because parents are being bullied by their KIDS!!!! Parent who raise their kids as friends and not as a proper parent/child relationship are teaching their children bully behavior. When a child gets EVERYTHING they want they want more, when your child is taught that its ok to question authority why would they listen to a teacher? I have witnessed kids yelling at their parents in stores, what do think they do in school when they disagree with a classmate? Most bullies in my day had been bullied themselves by a older brother/sister or parent, but now it doesnt require that. Teach your children respect from the begining and it will cut a lot of bully behavior out.
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02:27 PM on 11/14/2011
Being bullied? Buy a bully, probably for about a buck. Find the biggest kid and have him put the fear of God into the bully. Most older good kids will just tell the bully to knock-it-off or else. True, a bit of a bully tactic, but certainly one he will understand. There is always someone bigger.
03:34 AM on 11/15/2011
You are so right! When I was in 2nd grade, there were 3 3rd grade boys who chased me and my friends at recess, the fast one would catch us, the bigger one would sit on us, the ugly one would try to kiss us. When I told my sister, she lost it! The next day, inevitably, the boys came after us. They didn't know they were set up until I ran past the tree that my sister was hiding behind. She jumped out and shoved one of them, picked him up off his feet, and told him if he ever bothered us again, she'd beat the crap out of him. It never happened again. On a side note, she was their age.
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Denalidog
11:31 PM on 11/06/2011
if you took your kids to church they would know better
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DianaLynn1967
It's a great life if you don't weaken!
12:20 PM on 11/14/2011
Baloney. There are bullies in church too.
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02:28 PM on 11/14/2011
biggest bully organization in the world is the catholic church.
09:40 PM on 11/06/2011
I refuse to accept advice from Marlo Thomas Donahue. She, who stole another woman's husband, has the cheekiness to spout how to run a family.

r m kraus/akron
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Stockmanson
01:44 PM on 11/14/2011
Perhaps you could separate the message from the messenger.
If you will accept advice only from a perfect person, can you guess the result?
There aren't any!
03:39 AM on 11/15/2011
Whenever I ask my uncle for advice, he always says, "Sure, but it's free, so..."
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02:09 PM on 11/14/2011
Don't worry Marlo is unhappy in her marriage. Phil has said she makes a world of her own creation-a lovely world, basically without him.
08:07 PM on 11/06/2011
When you have adult posts that deride those with whom they disagree what can you expect
of kids? The sensible sensitive adults need too set an example as well as discuss the problem.
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Gerald Larkin
Fiscal conservative, social moderate, for real.
02:17 PM on 11/14/2011
Hey! If you don't stop pointing out the hypocrisy in the adults who are our kids' role models, I'm going to come over there and .... Oh. Wait. Ooops.
04:01 PM on 11/14/2011
Our culture needs to protect the weaker members of society from sociopaths. Since reasoning and civilized behavior has no effect on sociopaths, we need lots of strong, good men who can control the bad ones. Americas feminization of men is a big mistake.