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Marnia Robinson
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Marnia Robinson is the author of Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships. As a former corporate lawyer (with degrees from Brown and Yale), she never expected to find herself writing books about sex. She delved into the subject in part because she was a bride or bridesmaid in four weddings and just about everyone who reached the altar (including Marnia) has since divorced and remarried. What was going on?

The more she learned about both ancient sacred sex traditions and the science of mating and bonding, the more she recognized the need for a cross-disciplinary perspective that also incorporates the experiences of actual lovers struggling with the tension between fiery biological urges and the desire for long-term harmonious relationships. Psychologists, neuroscientists, evolutionary biologists, anthropologists and ancient sages all have essential clues for coping with this challenge—and yet each profession alone is somewhat hampered by its official constraints. Marnia’s goal is to highlight key insights (both recent and long-forgotten) and then weave them together with practical suggestions, in hopes of encouraging a wider dialogue.

Her husband Gary Wilson, a neuroscience enthusiast, generously takes time from his teaching career to help her collect and analyze the material in her posts and books. Together they have given presentations and made radio appearances worldwide on the unwelcome effects of evolutionary biology on romantic relationships.. Their work was featured in the award-winning anthology, Toward 2012: Perspectives on the Next Age. Marnia hosts the web site Reuniting: Healing with Sexual Relationships, and reside in Ashland, Oregon.

Marnia’s book Cupid's Poisoned Arrow is now available in German ( Watch Marnia on San Francisco's "The View from the Bay" show. (6 mins.)

Entries by Marnia Robinson

Boys and Porn: A Moving Target

(1) Comments | Posted September 30, 2014 | 4:15 PM

Therapists can be a little confusing when it comes to assessing porn's risks. Some would have us believe that only teens with inherent vulnerabilities become addicted, even though addiction research that shows that early exposure to supernormal stimulation, alone, increases the risk of addiction. In search of another...

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Youthful ED: More to the Story?

(3) Comments | Posted September 20, 2013 | 10:30 PM

Researchers are alarmed by the upswing in young men seeking clinical treatment for persistent ED according to new research now making the rounds. When the severity of their ED was measured, 48 percent of the young Italians had severe ED as compared with only 40 percent...

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Why Stop Orgasm Research at Climax?

(30) Comments | Posted February 15, 2013 | 7:00 AM

Click here to read an original op-ed from the TED speaker who inspired this post and watch the TEDTalk below.

Mary Roach's irreverent orgasm trivia reminds us that researchers, like porn makers, tend to snap their notebooks shut right after the money shot. Yet some of...

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Why Are Porn and Junk Food So Tempting?

(0) Comments | Posted September 19, 2010 | 1:18 PM

Almost monthly, new research confirms that food can cause drug-like brain changes. Food and sex are known as "natural reinforcers." That is, they aren't drugs, but our brains light up for them so we reach for more without thinking.

Still, the concept that food can cause obesity because it is...

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Karezza Lovemaking for Singles

(3) Comments | Posted September 15, 2010 | 2:25 PM

"I like the idea of karezza (making love without the goal of orgasm)," explained a 28-year old friend, "but I'm not married yet ... and I'm certainly not going to live without sex!" I asked her how she proposed to explain the concept to her 20-something peers, and...

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Relationship Advice: De-stress With Your Mate Using Bonding Behaviors

(1) Comments | Posted May 18, 2010 | 8:00 AM

Want to use your relationship to de-stress? Try something playful and totally unfamiliar: three weeks of brief, daily bonding behaviors.

Humans are pair bonders. That means an ancient region of our brain is wired slightly differently from the 97 percent of mammal species who don't pair bond. We're built to...

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No Porn, No Viagra?

(14) Comments | Posted March 8, 2010 | 3:38 PM

Before you reach for those little blue pills, try cutting out porn. Your lover will thank you.

Through a fluke of fate, I have been learning more than I ever wanted to know about the subject of porn use... and recovery. A few years ago a guy...

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Intercourse vs. Orgasm

(7) Comments | Posted October 9, 2009 | 2:12 PM

Not long ago, a Canadian research team discovered something surprising: In the recipe for great sex, orgasm is optional. Said the head researcher, "There is plenty of evidence that most people believe that the secret to sexual fulfillment is technical, that it's about better manual and oral stimulation...

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What Porn Users Taught Me

(68) Comments | Posted September 24, 2009 | 4:19 PM

"By Jove, it's the reward circuitry!"

A dedicated member of the "to each his own taste" club, I'm all for freedom of speech. However, my website happens to discuss the highs and lows of sexual satiety in terms of the highs and lows of the typical addiction cycle. To...

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Sure Ways To Stay In Love

(23) Comments | Posted September 11, 2009 | 2:39 PM

As my husband and I stroked a live alligator resting calmly on a trainer's lap at a fair, I asked the guy why it was so tame. "I pet it daily. If I didn't, it would quickly be wild again, and wouldn't allow this," he explained.

Only months earlier...

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Sex and Novelty

(7) Comments | Posted September 9, 2009 | 12:06 PM

Ever fall in love with total abandon, experience mind-boggling sex, been sure you wanted to stay together forever -- and then notice recurring emotional friction arising? Does one of you sometimes becomes clingy or demanding while the other feels devoured and needs "space?"

This misery isn't necessarily due to bad...

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Sex's Secret Gift: Aligning With The Flow Of Life

(27) Comments | Posted September 2, 2009 | 7:50 AM

The first Daoist book I read on cultivating sexual energy rang a profound bell. Sure, there was the niggling emphasis on avoiding orgasm and making love in a relaxed way (huh?), but at the same time the descriptions of effortless merging sounded so right. I wanted to learn more.

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Another Way To Make Love

(133) Comments | Posted August 31, 2009 | 11:31 AM

There's nothing new about hooking up. As a sexual-revolutionary, I practically lived on the Relationship Roller Coaster. Little did I know that biology was arranging every ride. Like many, I believed I just hadn't found "Mr. Right," even after I married and divorced. As it turned out, the issue wasn't...

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