Flee from Land of the Lost

OK, I'm big enough to admit when I'm wrong.

I apologize to Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. It's not the most witless, humor-challenged movie of the summer.

The winner and new champion: Land of the Lost. At least there's truth in advertising. See it and you lose your time, the money you spent on a ticket and, perhaps, the ability to walk upright without dragging your knuckles on the ground.

Abandon hope, all ye who enter.

With this film, Will Ferrell officially signals the end of his 15 minutes. Indeed, if it weren't for Matt Lauer, there'd be nary a laugh at all in this excruciatingly lazy and unnecessary film. I repeat: The biggest laughs belong to Matt Lauer.

Dinosaur urine and poop are the best they've got? Oh, wait -- I forgot the numerous times the monkey man groped Anna Friel's breasts. Apparently director Brad Silberling thought it got funnier every time. He was wrong.

Indeed, this comedy auteur -- whose scary resume includes Casper and that awful Lemony Snicket movie -- is seldom right, starting with the impulse to remake a thunderingly lame TV show from the 1970s as a Will Ferrell vehicle.

I propose that there should be criminal penalties for wasting $100 million on a movie this dreadful. Maybe someone can implement Hollywood's version of the hockey penalty box for actors and directors who knowingly make one. Sorry, Will, you've got to sit the next one out.

How could they not know? Probably they didn't notice because they were too busy standing around on the set, cracking each other up and congratulating themselves on what comic geniuses they are, while collecting massive paychecks.

For the rest of this review, click here to go to my website: www.hollywoodandfine.com.

Comments

[JaneaneTheAcerbicGoblin]

10:34 PM on 06/03/2009

Well, I have some free passes to see it tomorrow, so if it sucks, at least I didn't have to pay for it (excluding the subway fare to get there).

I'll let you know.

I'm not expecting any fidelity to the original series. It looks like Ferrell and his cohorts acting stupid and dumb in prehistoric times.

[LLNYRN]

05:05 PM on 06/02/2009

I've had to suffer through the "LAND OF THE LOST" marathon on Sci-Fi and a watching a friend's DVD set this weekend. I didn't like the series much as a kid, but in retrospect thought The Kroft's made a bold move by getting David Gerrold as the series' story editor (since I read a lot of Sci-Fi in those days). This after he did the Star Trek animated series earlier (whick I still feel was the smartest Saturday Morning series ever). Some of my more addicted friends feel that "LOTL" got unfairly ripped on due to it's Saturday slot, chessy SFX, and acting. And that the stories and premise are still purely overlooked to this day.
These same friends are really PO'd that this film treatment is a comedy.

[superlive]

04:48 PM on 06/02/2009

The original show was actually pretty deep, but in the 70's kids shows were about teaching kids how to be smarter grown-ups not just greedier shoppers. Case in point being the finale of Season One where the "original" Marshall Family gets KILLED, but in doing so open the dimensional doorway which brings an identical alternate universe Marshall Family into the LOTL as replacements.

Oh, then there was that episode where the Captain of the Flying Dutchman develops a creepy infatuation for Holly and tries to shanghai her after slipping her a mickey. Eeee....

By the way, in JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK (2001) Will Ferrell's character was named "Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly" after the original LOTL main characters.

[LUV2TALK]

03:00 PM on 06/02/2009

I actually liked the series as a child, and was looking forward to introducing my children to it. However, after seeing the previews, and reading this review, I think we'll skip it. The original series was NOT a comedy; and the characters were NOT stupid. Of course the Sleestaks and special effects look cheap and silly by today's standards, but they were good for a 70's Saturday morning children's show.

[William Bradley]

02:39 PM on 06/02/2009

It will be interesting to see the movie.

The audiences I've been around LOVE the trailer.

[Tallulah Morehead]

05:57 PM on 06/02/2009

Well, the trailer almost makes it look good, except that it shows that Will Ferrell, the most inexplicably overpraised comic actor since Jerry Lewis, is in it. Fortunately, I have a long-standing policy of never going to see movies with Will Ferrell in them. (I gave Mel Brooks and THE PRODUCERS special dispensation, but I still wish Mel had used someone else in Will's role.)

Maybe it should be LAND OF THE GET LOST!

BTW, was it just me, or did JJ Abrams use so much of the same time-travel stuff in STAR TREK that he uses on LOST that he turned STAR TREK into LOST IN SPACE? (Catchy title)

[William Bradley]

10:13 AM on 06/03/2009

As you may know, time travel is a longstanding staple of Star Trek.

It even predates Lost ...

Kirk and Spock traveled back in time in two episodes in the first season of the original Star Trek series.

[rjmiller]

02:29 PM on 06/02/2009

And yet, because it has Will Farrell, it will gross $150M.

Hurray for our wonderful culture.

[LMPE]

02:24 PM on 06/02/2009

I've never heard of the TV series. When I first saw an ad for the movie, I figured that it was one to skip. Now I know. Thanks for the info, Marshall.

PS: I actually thought that "Casper" and "Lemony Snicket" weren't bad. A REALLY bad movie? "Man on the Moon"

[averygard]

01:30 PM on 06/02/2009

When I first heard about this movie, I could not--and I still can't--figure out why anybody would want to make a movie out of that series. That series was so bad it was surreal. I can still hear the theme song going through my head and see the little raft with the characters in it superimposed on what looked like a creek in someone's back yard. And the lizard people! Okay, it might have turned out all right if they'd tried to make it as campy as the series, which appeared to have a five dollar budget.

[cdub1991]

03:27 PM on 06/02/2009

The SciFi Channel (or whatever they call themselves these days) did a marathon of episodes on Memorial Day. For me, it was one of those shows that was so bad it was actually kind of good. I do remember enjoying it when I was a kid. Funny thing is, if you look at the writing credits from the first season, there were actually some pretty heavy hitters from the SF world involved. Ben Bova, Larry Niven, Dick Gerrold, Theodore Sturgeon, D. C. Fontana (from Star Trek), Norman Spinrad. Good writing can compensate for a host of sins.

But I agree; there's no good reason to give this show the big screen treatment.

[LLNYRN]

05:30 PM on 06/02/2009

Hell. I not only had to sit through the Sci-Fi marathon at a friend's, but also his DVD set of the show because he didn't like Sci-Fi's presentation of it.
In restrospect, I do agree that "LOTL" was overlooked and reviled by many do to its Saturday morning slot, cheesy SFX and acting. But I respected that The Krofts gave David Gerrold carte blanche as story editor. He went to his Sci-Fi compadres to write for that show. I was reading books by all those authors when I was a kid in those days. Gerrold did the same thing for the Star Trek animated series earlier in the 70s. That animated treatment I still considered the smartest show EVER on Saturday mornings.
I don't plan on seeing this film. Not really of interest to me.
But a lot of my friends who are rabid fans of the show are extremely upset about this film treatment being more focused on comedy.

[Tallulah Morehead]

06:04 PM on 06/02/2009

I'm curious as to why you felt it necessary to tell us DC Fontana's credit, but not the other names' credits. People who know some of these names (and I've actually met all of them except Ben Bova) will know all of them, and people with no idea who DC Fontana is would probably be just as unaware of Norman Spinrad, the forever-overpraised-thanks-to-ONE-STAR TREK EPISODE David Gerrold, or lovely Ted Sturgeon. (I had lunch with Ted once. He was a delightful man.) Just struck me as odd.