Alberto Gonzales: You're Like A Rolling Stone...

"Attorney-General with criminal president - circa 1972"

"Attorney-General with criminal president - circa 2007"

Dear Alberto,

To quote Bob Dylan:

Ain't it hard when you discover that
He really wasn't where it's at
After he took from you everything he could steal....

What a drag. You put your faith in that shifty-looking gringo with his forced bonhomie and his patronizing use of ranch-owner-to-housemaid pig-Spanish. Something in your very gut probably told you that he was just using you. That he craved having a Latino face and name to tout on his team. A way to suck up to Hispanic voters in Texas in the '94 and '98 elections. But hey - sometimes you have to lie down with the dogs to get ahead. And you took that gamble to get out of your personal Palookaville.

But now you have the worst case of fleas.

Sure he's giving those lip-service messages through the "Snow-blower" about still "having confidence" in you.

But those are the exact same words he used last November before he put the shiv so deep into Rumsfeld's gut that it came out the other side. (Of course the fact that underneath all the tough-guy bluster - Rumsfeld is actually gutless - helped in that regard.)

If push comes to shove and he has to choose between his token Latino or his personal Rasputin Karl Rove - you know which way this cookie is going to crumble.

You are so fired. And disgraced. Dead meat.

But you actually have a choice.

You can exit like a man. Or like a fajita mouse - sliced and diced to save Rove...

John Mitchell was Nixon's Attorney-General. He thought he owed loyalty to HIS criminal President. And he ended up as a convicted, disgraced sack of ordure. His obituaries led with his perfidy.

On the other hand Nixon's counsel John Dean took the high road. He 'fessed up to his sins. And he is now rightly regarded as a hero who did the right thing.

So - take a long hard look in the mirror Al.

Who do you want to be remembered as?

Another John Mitchell?

Or another John Dean?

Take my tip. Resign now and sing like a canary.

Not just about what you've done - for which you may have to take a couple of years in Danbury minimum security prison.

But also about the entire corrupt regime that you've been serving.

Be the John Dean of this era. And you will be a hero for all time.

History is calling you Alberto - and he has a message for you:

Go to him now, he calls you, you can't refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose...

Sing Alberto... Sing!

Sing like... sing like.... Like A Rolling Stone.

On your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone...

Sincerely

Martin

• All lyrics by Bob Dylan: Copyright © 1965; renewed 1993 Special Rider Music

• Predicament by Richard Nixon: Copyright © 1973; renewed 2007 George W. Bush