Appoint Anna Nicole Smith judge to the Supreme Court!

Presiding over Anna Nicole Smith's remains - Judge Larry Seidlin (Photo: AP)

Forget Judge Wapner. Bah to Judge Judy. And "feh!" to Judges Roberts and Alito! Today we discovered America's next superstar of the justice system. Speaking with a crusty 'Noo Yawk' accent, Judge Larry Seidlin - a circuit judge in Broward County (remember that fun place from the Florida recount?!) presided over the remains of Anna Nicole Smith with all the pizzazz of a Borscht Belt comedian. THAT'S who we need in the Supreme Court! Can you imagine the mincemeat he would have made of Bush's lawyers in the case of Bush vs Gore back in 2000?

"Whaddya mean you don't gotta do no more sample ballots?! Hey do me a favor doc - how long can this election be stuck in the fridge before it starts to decompose?! Then take anudder swab of chads! I don't wanna embalm this election if we gotta exhume it later! We ain't gonna bury this corpse of an election till I say so.

"I'm gonna appoint this old Jewish guy I met at law school to make an exploration. Send him down to the scene of da crime! He got no dawg in the case! I'm gonna have hearings... as many hearings as we need! It's gutsy! But my vibes tell me it's the right thing to do! I'm a glutton for doin' this! Beautiful! This reminds me of when I was a kid... " (ad lib to fade)

His own courtroom TV show? Aiming way to low! Let's stick him up where he belongs. On the highest court in the land. Or even higher. On "American Idol"...

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