Georgia Governor Prays For Rain

The Republican Governor of the state of Georgia - George Ervin Perdue (who likes to be called "Sonny" even though he is a grown man of nearly 61) - has a major crisis. His state is facing the consequences of a disastrous drought.

Fortunately for the good citizens of that state - he has a brilliant plan to solve the problem.

He has held a public prayer meeting for rain. And personally asked "God" to intervene.

That should probably do it.

However - just in case God doesn't kick in with an immediate sprinkle - I think "Sonny Boy" might want to come up with a couple of other solutions to augment the public chanting.

Here are some other suggestions that may help end the drought in Georgia.

(Feel free to add your own ideas)

• Tell Georgians to avoid walking under ladders.
• Abolish the number "13" in Georgia
• Outlaw the breaking of mirrors
• Put two spoons in a saucer (also may help Georgians have ginger twins)
• Place cabbage stalks around the doors and windows of all houses
• Forbid pregnant women from wearing high heels during pregnancy
• Disallow redheads from being bridesmaids at Atlanta weddings
• Encourage people to spit on any broom that touches their feet
• Mandate that all citizens wear a rabbit's foot around the neck
• Outlaw the use of the two-dollar bill (except to put in church collection plates)
• Tell people to throw salt over their left shoulder 73 times every 29 minutes
• Adopt black cat as the state's official mascot
• Encourage Georgians to wear yellow frilly underwear
• Attach horseshoe to top of Lieutenant-Governor's head with orange chewing gum
• Declare it illegal to open umbrellas inside walk-in shoe closets
• Outlaw stepping on sidewalk cracks (but not on sidewalk crack dealers)
• All state citizens to eat plate of black-eyed peas before 4.30am every other Tuesday
• Adopt raw herring as the official food - and official pet - of the State

Comments

[CARTERJ]

I haven't been this proud of Georgia since Lester Maddox rode a bicycle backwards at an Atlanta Braves game to protest integration.

Sheesh!

[baduga]

Fear is the mind-killer; fear of god is the killer of reason.

[Lon]

So was my miserable commute today really the fault of the Governor of Georgia and a God with bad aim?

[ruffmama]

I live in north Georgia and it rained last night. That prayer service was planned out before the weather forecast was available. Chances are the rainfall was just a coincidence and it was hardly enough rain to make a difference in the drought conditions. But I must say that I take offense at your implication that those of us who pray are somehow ignorant or "superstitious". I am a blue hearted liberal through and through and very few kind words come to my mind when I think of Sonny Perdue. But I find this post to be rude and callous. I pray every day for rain.

[Vurz]

I don't know how many terms the Governor has served, so I don't know how much of the "never planning for a dry year" is his fault.

Strangely, although I'm not a Christian, I'm praying for rain in Georgia too. Just because most Georgians don't share my politics doesn't mean I want to see them go thirsty.

[Massenet]

To me it sounds pathetic...sad and desperate.
Is there no way to get real help?

[MrLion]

Maybe Governor Perdue ought to beg forgiveness for his state's rampant development and heedless use of water.

[CriminallySane]

Maybe he needs to try the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

It's just as likely, you know...

[Faffer]

Well - if it ever rains again in GA there must be a god. Eat your heart out Christopher Hitchins.

[seawolf77]

Not much he can do. Nobody is offering any water to truck in or pipe in. It goes back to Katrina vultures coming home to roost in Atlanta and California; they should not have built in areas that were drought and fire prone. Dumbasses. Until it's your backyard.

[Ben Dixon]

I've got a better idea. In order to reduce water use in GA, lets expell all liberals from the state. That ought to help.

============MARTIN RESPONDS==========

I'm assuming that your inability to spell is a by-product of dehydration. Or of being a compassionate conservative...

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[Average]

Of course if he was CHANTING to some GURU in INDIA or some cow or some pot bellied statue, you would be supporting him.

=========MARTIN RESPONDS==========

I certainly would if the pot-bellied statue was of "Dick" Cheney...

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