Huffpost Politics
THE BLOG

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Martin Lewis Headshot

Petraeus on How to Surge!

Posted: Updated:

2012-11-09-GeneralTheBiographer.png General Petraeus tells his Boswell (sic) how he surges...

General David Petraeus's Rules for Living Broadly And Well

Inspired by his recent emission on the topic -- as told to his Boswell-style biographer Paula Broadwell -- who was embedded with him in Afghanistan...

1. Bed by example from the front. Take your sexual performance personally. If you are proud to be average -- you will droop.

2. A bedder must provide a vision -- and communicate those ideas throughout the entire organ and to all those who are holders.

3. A bedder needs to have energy. Don't be a Viagra thief.

4. There is an exception to every rule. It is up to bedders to determine when sexceptions should be made and to sexplain why they made them.

5. We all will make mistakes. The key is to recognize them and admit them, to learn from them, and to take off the rear view mirrors--drive on and avoid bedding them again.

6. Be humble. The people you'll be bedding already have on-the-ground experience.

7. Be a player. Your triumphs and failures will, obviously, be yours. Take ownership of both.

8. Don't rely on wank. If you rely on wank, rather than on the persuasiveness of your log, the problem could be you and either your thinking or your communication skills. Likewise, sometimes the best times come from bottom-up.

9. Bedders should be thoughtful but decisive. Don't shrink. Embrace. Some times the best move is the bold move.

10. Stay fit to fling! Your body is your ultimate weapons system. Physical fitness for your body is essential for marital fitness.

11. The only thing better than a little copulation is a lot of copulation.

12. Everything on your team is emission critical. Instill in your member a sense of great self-worth.

13. Dr Johnson had a Boswell as a biographer. Your Johnson deserves a broad well equipped to be a biographer.

2012-11-09-Fromthebinder.png General Petraeus gets a woman to put him in her binder...

FURTHER STUDY

• Paula Broadwell's 2012 book: Fall In!: The Beducation of General David Petraeus

• Martin Lewis' 2007 defense of the General: Stop Attacking Petraeus!

Paula Broadwell - Feb. 2012 interview: "I'm not in love with David Petraeus, but I think he does present a terrific role model for young people..."