We the undersigned owe you a HUGE apology.
If we had known 8 years ago that you would:
• Preside over the largest government spending since LBJ
• Nationalize many of the US's largest banks (Right on Comrade!)
• Graphically demonstrate the dangers of unregulated capitalism
• Destroy the Republican Party brand for a generation
• Give the Democrats a shot at a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate
• Send the House Republicans into the Bermuda Triangle
• Fulfill your pledge to unite the nation (against you!)
• End your presidency with even lower approval than Richard Nixon
• Galvanize the nation to vote for a liberal Democrat to replace you
• Help ensure the election of the first African-American President
... we wouldn't have been so beastly to you!
So we wish to apologize profusely to you.
Thank you for your great contributions to the progressive cause!
We wish you a very happy retirement under President Obama.