Instead of belittling General David Petraeus and insulting him -- we should be showing him HUGE respect.
Though he graduated in 1974 -- this four-star general didn't see ANY military combat until 2003! (He has commanded several mechanized and light infantry units though!)
In his first three decades of dedicated military service -- he fearlessly protected American interests in:
• Vicenza, Italy
• Princeton University, New Jersey
• Georgetown, D.C.
• Fort Stewart, Georgia
• Fort Leavenworth, Kansas
• Fort Campbell, Kentucky
• Fort Polk, Louisiana.
• Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Can you recall even a single attack on any of those places while General Petraeus was in command? No sir -- you cannot. No enemy even DARED to attack a location where David Petraeus was running the show!
Not that he doesn't understand being under fire and suffering traumatic injuries.
In 1991, he was shot in the chest! (Okay... okay... it was by a fellow American officer during a military exercise in Nashville. But aw shucks -- that's GOTTA hurt! So he can definitely "feel the pain" when his troops are shot and maimed.)
In 2000 he suffered a broken pelvis! (Okay... okay... it was when he screwed up a skydiving jump. And okay... okay... he was jumping as a civilian. But it was still an injury!)
Look -- it takes true genius to have managed to avoid serving in any armed conflicts in his first 29 years in the service. And it's that kind of genius that we need in Iraq.
Since he has 29 years experience of keeping HIMSELF out of harm's way - who better to advise 160,000 American troops how to avoid getting killed?!
Not only that - but look at the BLING!
If he can wrangle all those ribbons and medals for himself by being in change of trucks and tanks in rural America - he MUST know what he's doing!
It must be very inspiring to the 160,000 troops under his command in Iraq.
And - even if a few thousand more die over the next few years - who better than General Petraeus to get them some posthumous bling? They can have their coffins lined with fancy ribbons! Which will be a great comfort to their families...
And the thousands more troops who will be maimed will at least have something colorful to cover up their more ugly looking wounds.
So here's to General David Petraeus. A general to die for...
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