The Tea-Bag Party today lambasted President Obama for his refusal to give credit to others for the death of Osama Bin Laden. Party spokesman Tetley Lipton said "It's all very well for Obama to claim credit for himself merely because he was the person who instructed the CIA to step up the search, and gave the order for the surgical strike -- but he gets well paid for that sort of thing. Also, it was one of his election pledges so he HAD to do it. It's very greedy for him to claim credit as well. Obama also forgot to thank several people without whom this operation would never have succeeded."
Among the people that Lipton said Obama should have credited:
• George W. Bush who first put a fatwa on Bin Laden promising that he would be got "Dead Or Alive". Bush cleverly lulled Bin Laden into a false sense of security by letting him escape at Tora Bora and by intentionally and skillfully not capturing him for all 2,688 days of his presidency after 9/11. If Bush had captured or killed Bin Laden during his presidency then there would have been no one for President Obama to go after. So Obama owes Bush a huge debt of gratitude.
• Ronald Reagan who authorized the C.I.A. to provide covert financial aid to Bin Laden's Islamic Jihad Mujahideen. It was Reagan who praised the Mujahideen as Afghanistan's "Freedom Fighters" -- thus lulling Bin Laden into not expecting that the C.I.A. would really pursue him. A masterful deception that Reagan instigated and should be credited for.
• Lee Greenwood -- the wonderful, God-fearing, pro-family patriot who managed to find time to write and record "God Bless The U.S.A." in between his four marriages, so that progressives, liberals, atheists, agnostics, Democrats, gays and other degenerates would understand the true meaning of jingoism.
• Bon Jovi for writing the song "Dead Or Alive" without which the military operations team would have had no theme song to sing on their chopper ride.
• Seal whose name inspired the formation of the Navy Seals that carried out the mission.
• John Paul Jones -- the bass player for Led Zeppelin who created the U.S. Navy during down-time between tours.
(Fact-checking by Rep. Michele Bachmann and Senator John Kyl)