iOS app Android app

Martin Marks
GET UPDATES FROM Martin Marks
 
Martin Marks is a writer of everything but metered poetry. His work has appeared in The New Yorker, Esquire, Harper's Bazaar, The Wall Street Journal, VanityFair.com, The New York Times’ “T” Magazine, The New York Post, Paper Magazine, Hemispheres Magazine, and The Palm Beach Daily News. He maintains his own online presence at Great Books, Half Read.

He graduated from Johns Hopkins with a BA and MA in the Writing Seminars, and then earned his MFA in Creative Writing at NYU, teaching in the Expository and Creative Writing Programs.

Entries by Martin Marks

A Letter From the Elves!

(0) Comments | Posted December 19, 2013 | 12:38 PM

To All the Good Boys and Girls of Earth, Elfish Season's Greetings!

It sure has been an elfishly busy year up here at the North Pole, and we sure do have a whole elfish bunch of holy-jolly, super-duper surprises, in a whole elfish bunch of different elfish shapes, colors, and...

Read Post

The Pain in My Neck

(1) Comments | Posted May 2, 2013 | 2:29 PM

I'm not sure where to begin with any of this, so I may as well begin with the opening line of an email that I sent to my friends.

Dear Friends,

For reasons that I could not explain in 10,000 words or less, on January 4 (i.e., if all goes...

Read Post

Walken in the Jungle

(2) Comments | Posted April 10, 2013 | 9:20 AM

Like many a city-dweller engaged in the journey from one place to the next, it seems as though I'm in a constant state of motion. If you were to see me heading west on 23rd Street, and then dashing across the park, and then jumping down the stairs -- two,...

Read Post

Fashion Week Special: The House of Sp*rkle

(0) Comments | Posted March 6, 2013 | 3:22 PM

If too many cooks spoil a broth, then how many fashion designers does it take to cause a meltdown? Just one, and her name is Sp*rkle.


This past Saturday, at the opulently spledorifically magnificentesimal Villa di Waterloo Station du Palais-Royal de Lincoln Center d'Oyster Bay Expressway, the who's...

Read Post

Your (Most Certainly Not Haunted) Home Awaits

(0) Comments | Posted October 31, 2012 | 6:17 PM

Are you a family searching for an escape from the hustle and bustle (or current lack of electricity and running water) of city living? A young novelist, seeking the isolation and inspiration of the rural countryside? Or perhaps a group of spring breakers and/or recent high school graduates and/or documentary filmmakers, young and nubile and...

Read Post

President Clinton's Unvetted Speech for the Democratic National Convention

(1) Comments | Posted September 5, 2012 | 4:47 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow Americans. Remember me? That's right, it's President Bill Clinton. No spooky holograms, no wooden chairs. But enough about Paul Ryan.

What an honor it is to be back here tonight, in front of you, as plain old Bill, president before that other guy who...

Read Post

A Very British Opening Ceremony

(5) Comments | Posted July 27, 2012 | 2:17 PM

The United Kingdom of England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and Denmark (long story) is most honoured, indeed, to be hosting the 2012 Olympic Games. From the same people who brought you William Shakespeare, Winston Churchill, Magna Charta (Google it), an assortment of castles, palaces and royal cousins, Westminster Abbey, Downton...

Read Post

Harry Potter: The Norton Ridiculously Expanded Edition (With Criticism)

(0) Comments | Posted June 25, 2012 | 2:23 PM

Dear Muggles,

Some wonderful news! To mark the release of all seven volumes of Harry Potter in eBook format, the Norton Library, in conjunction with David Cameron's Big Society and J.K. Rowling's No Child-Actor Left Behind initiative, is pleased to announce the release of its very own, definitive Norton Critical...

Read Post

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad Mad Men World

(0) Comments | Posted March 23, 2012 | 7:13 PM

After a year and a half hiatus, AMC is pleased to announce the return of its hit television series Mad Men. It's the same critically acclaimed show that audiences know and love, following the trials and tribulations of love, life and work in the 1960s, though this season, there's going...

Read Post

Downton Abbey Problems

(16) Comments | Posted January 13, 2012 | 11:28 AM

A series of tweets based upon the trials and tribulations of life at Downton Abbey.


Isn't it wonderful how we're friends! Save that you're the friend who fetches tea, empties my chamber pot & bathes me. #DowntonAbbeyProblems

First cousins make for excellent bedfellows! (So long as...

Read Post

Thanksgiving: A Questionnaire for Dinner Guests

(5) Comments | Posted November 22, 2011 | 1:57 PM

We're so happy you've decided to spend Thanksgiving dinner with us! In order to ensure the dinner proceeds as smoothly as possible, we ask that you please take a moment to complete the following questionnaire. Mark your answers clearly with a Number 2 pencil, and return this form to your...

Read Post

Your Guide to Hurricane Preparedness

(0) Comments | Posted August 26, 2011 | 2:37 PM

Late last night, and based on my Twitter feed alone, I suddenly realized that while there sure are a lot of former New Yorkers down in Florida -- mostly the old and infirm, driving along our highways in tank-like cars, at speeds that barely approach those attained while riding a...

Read Post

This Is CNFMNSTV's Lightning Brunch

(1) Comments | Posted August 15, 2011 | 6:03 PM

Coverage of crises can burnish reputations, as the networks attract worried viewers who sample news and stock-picking shows for the first time -- or at least for the first time in a long while.
--Brian Stelter, The New York Times.

ANNOUNCER: This is CNFMNSTV, the most...

Read Post

Tractatus Twitter Philosophicus

(0) Comments | Posted July 7, 2011 | 4:08 PM

A Brief Working Theory as to the Socio-Semiotic Lexicographic Post-Structuralist Aesthetic Paleographic Mechanisms of Twitter, after Wittgenstein. #Glee

1               Twitter is everything that is the case.
1.1           Twitter consists of tweets, which are general statuses of states...

Read Post

Wimbledon, Live From Frankfurt

(2) Comments | Posted July 1, 2011 | 4:04 PM

In our family, to think of Roger Federer as anything but the greatest player in the history of the game of tennis is nothing short of heresy; to extol his virtues would be like trying to fit one more angel on the head of a pin. And this was it,...

Read Post

Fridays, No More

(1) Comments | Posted June 17, 2011 | 6:38 PM

Sometimes, there is news too cruel to accept, too confusing for our fragile minds to comprehend, too painful for our psyches to accommodate. We see reports of blood on the streets. Europe is bankrupt. The stock market goes up. The stock market goes down. Congressmen flash their hoo-hah all over...

Read Post

We Are Friends

(0) Comments | Posted June 8, 2011 | 10:31 AM

An Open Letter from Colonel Gaddafi to the American People.


To the Good Citizens of the United States,

Over the past several days, I've taken time out of what has proven to be an increasingly hectic, NATO-warplane-filled schedule to address my people as to the geo-political benefits of...

Read Post

In Soft Water

(1) Comments | Posted May 23, 2011 | 1:20 PM

Back when I lived in Baltimore, there was a man named Mike, a nice enough guy save that when he went off his meds, he'd turn into Crazy Mike, an alter ego that liked to wander around Charles Village screaming at the top of his lungs about how flying monkeys...

Read Post

The Eloquence of Peasants: An Ancient Yet Modern Voice From Egypt

(1) Comments | Posted February 3, 2011 | 2:49 PM

Several days ago, as the Twittersphere burgeoned with news of the situation in Egypt, an apocryphal piece of trivia from my undergraduate years -- that I had double majored in Near Eastern Studies with a focus on Egyptology -- came into play. For those expecting any tweets pertinent to these...

Read Post

Lauren Conrad Interviews Joan of Arc

(0) Comments | Posted July 14, 2010 | 4:06 PM

Lauren Conrad catches up with the sometimes devilish, sometimes divine Joan of Arc.

After a six season run, MTV's The Hills sadly came to a close last night. We can't believe it's only been two short years since the star - perhaps you've heard of her? - Lauren Conrad stepped...

Read Post