Three Reasons to Kill Yourself

The morning after Christmas, Mike Huckabee goes pheasant-hunting in Iowa, presumably to remind Iowa's Republican hunters that he, not Romney, deserves to be the NRA's poster child.

When the Romney people see the Huckabee footage, they contact every political reporter they know: Look how fat Huckabee looks in that get-up! Look at those jowls! Look at that goofy unpresidential hat! What a blunder!

Minutes later, the footage, plus the usually admirable David Shuster, interrupt MSNBC's all-tiger-mauling-all-the-time coverage for a segment on the impact on the caucuses of Huckabee's hunting couture. The Romney people think this could be exactly the opening they've been hoping for, Shuster reports. Perhaps rural Iowan hunters may not laugh at Huck's Elmer Fuddyduddy look, but it just might make urban Iowa Republicans come home to Mitt's matinee manhood. For more on the political damage done by Huckabee's Turkey Day parade-float look, Tucker Carlson and Chris Matthews will have complete coverage later today.

Here are three reasons to consider killing yourself.

1. Shuster may be right. There may actually be enough voters who think that Huckabee looks as stupid in that getup as Dukakis did in his tank-riding Howdy Doody hat to affect the Iowa outcome.

2. MSNBC executives may be right. Visuals are catnip to viewers; stupid but easily grasped stories are way more compelling television than important but complicated stories.

3. There is no countervailing force to this civic lunacy. Compared to the power of paid ads, the impact of "free" television, and the herd mentality of mainstream media, the complaints of cranks like me are pathetic.

On the upside, we've known for about 2,500 years that democracies are shockingly fragile. In that light, it's a miracle that we still have the Constitution in place to protect us. Oh, wait.

Comments

[alkamm]

Oh Marty and other ye of little faith, leave off your worrying, abandon despondency, and realize that attack ads don't always work. They work when the person attacked is rather unpresidential, but not when the person is like Obama and Edwards--presidential timber. These attack ads cut ways far differently than their Madison Avenue creators imagine.
Let the voters vote, and trust them. Just hope that the Dems do not nominate another loser like Kerry. He, it was, who listened to or crafted the famous line "Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter." Bonehead, bonehead, bonehead. As Lewis Black said, getting beaten by Bush was an accomplishment akin to a non-handicapped person getting beaten in the Special Olympics.
The choice of either Obama or Edwards will work wonders for the Democratic faithful and the independents who yearn to vote for someone less foolish than our present embarrassing President.

[ramal]

Only the very brave can commit suicide in one quick act, the cowardly, zombified American Sheeple have been doing it slowly for the past seven years.

[OutsideLookingIn]

While not suicide in its dictionary sense Benazir Bhutto's decision to return to Pakistan to face up to a military dictator was patently putting her life on the line and, we now know, suicidal.

If you want real reasons to contemplate suicide, and the means to do it, go preach justice and democracy in Pakistan or half-a-dozen other countries in the world, or women's rights in Iran or Saudi Arabia, or campaign against corruption in Columbia etc.

[wrabbitt]

He didn't shoot any body did he" Three reasons to kill your self, 1 its a pre-existing condition and won't be covered.2 you are the only one with the password to Russia's Nukes!3 Hillary got elected!

[Yukon Jack]

Three reasons to kill yourself:

1. Democratic President.
2. Democratic Senate majority.
3. Democratic House majority.

Looks like there will be plenty of Republican suicides in November 2008.

[timtimes]

Why are we still shooting pheasants? Is there an overpopulation like in the deer population in Iowa? If you haven't been to Iowa in awhile you may not be aware that the deer population has run AMOK. The machine harvesting equipment leaves just enough food on the stalk for them to prosper. You can barely drive around without seeing them grazing in the ditches and they're a danger to drivers. So I'm not against the proper harvesting of game animals, or against hunting by people who hunt for subsistence (plenty of those here in poverty stricken rural Mississippi), but shooting at pheasants seems a little bit of an overkill and more bloodsport than necessary for a man in Huck's position.
Enjoy.

[vale409]

Did anyone see him say, "If you don't vote for me, you'll end up like these pheasants"? Did I dream that? I had a serious "Scooby Doo" moment to say the least.

[Jacksonian]

Had I been a member of the press corps trailing after Huckabee on his "hunting" expedition, I'd have been rooting for the pheasants. How unsportsmanlike to shoot a beautiful, defenseless bird for the "fun" of it and for the photo op. Where does St. Francis of Assisi (the patron saint of animals) fit into Huck's theology theme?

[FOXYLADY]

HOW DUMB.........WHAT DOES "LOOKING LIKE ELMER FUDD" HAVE TO DO WITH "ANYTHING"!! MY COMPLAINT IS THAT SOMEONE WHO USES HIS BELIEFS OR RELIGION AS CAMPAIGN FODDER IS "OUT OF THE RACE".....LOOK WHAT HAPPENED WHEN PEOPLE BELIEVED BUSH WHEN HE SAID HE WAS "BORN AGAIN".. PROOF POSITIVE THAT YOU CAN'T BELIEVE ANYONE USING THEIR BELIEFS TO GET VOTES!! I'M SO SICK OF THESE HYPOCRITES!!!!!

[Sociallyconscious]

"Three reasons to consider killing yourself" isn't really a cute title for me. You may think that it is so clever but again, it isn't funny to me. My youngest son killed himself...a bright, funny, loving mathematical genius who happened to have bipolar disorder and wasn't getting the treatment he needed in our wonderful mental health system. Instead of putting money into our mental health system to help our vulnerable young adults and all the people with mental health, we are over in IRAQ bombing the hell out of that country. I know I am off your topic but your title set me off.

[janmB]

A GUY like HUCK who likes to kill animals for FUN and doesn't need the food is worrisome to me.
(Im not impressed by the number of times he says the word GOD in a sentence. )

[Artisbey]

Saying Huckabee looks like Elmer Fudd is, not only untrue, it is an insult to cartoon characters. Regardless of what he's wearing, Huckabee looks like Gomer Pyle. His campaign slogan should be "Gaawlee!"

[ibsteve2u]

You do know Romney's camp is gearing up for the day that Huckabee hunts quail instead of pheasant, don't you?

So that they can call him a "flip-flopper"?

(Only three reasons?)

[thatvisionthing]

Two reasons not to kill yourself:

1. Bill Maher. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bill-maher/george-bush-pardon-all-t_b_73574.html

2. R.O. Blechman. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ro-blechman/seasons-greetings-anima_b_77960.html

[Rog49Thomas]

One would expect the "empty suit" candidate to try and focus voters' attention on satorial elegance and appearance.

[ahornick]

There are more than 3 reasons because there are more than 3 candidates!

[veracitatus]

Marty,

As a research professor, perhaps you don't teach any classes, or have been away from the classroom too long. If you want to know why the majority of people in this country really care about things like what a person looks like vs. what thoughts they have, peek in on your average college classroom. Better yet, talk to new graduates about their plans for the future.

It isn't just the media with a herd mentality. It is the entire society. Learning for the sake of knowledge, thinking and testing for the sake of understanding, and paying attention to what is happening around them is not what people do or what education teaches them. People do not care, in general, about wisdom. They care about their cars and TVs. They care about image. And image is what they get from the media.

I won't be killing myself because I want to see how this experiment in mass stupidity turns out.

V.

[CATO90025]

The Huckabee's should counter by soliciting endorsements for Romney from Scientolgists.

Romney's recent favorite read was Battlefield Earth--a L. Ron Hubbard book.

The meme would be kooky Mormon likes kooky L. Ron Hubbard cultic magnum opus.

[pizzmoe]

The Constitution? That's almost as quaint as the Geneva conventions.

[radmul]

you seem to have the same take that I found to be a bit on the elitist side when the msm hucksters were trying to sell it. I am not one of them but lots of people hunt. Lots of hunters dress like Huckabee and they don't think he looks funny at all. The footage may not do him much good elsewhere but in the Midwest amongst the true believers that are his fans he looks authentically like one of them.

[dwillisno1]

Can't help noticing the way he is "hugging" that gun. Any NRA member would see the discomfort and awkwardness of that thug. Gun hugger is an expression not to be taken quite so literally.

[MinerSam]

As someone who is Media Trained, gets my new live on C-SPAN, and trusts Hillary with my life, I want to kill myself because:

1) Psychological Abuser Chris Mathews (a Giulini supporter, self proclaimed alchoholic (no nuance) who is only 40-50% accurate)
2)Tim Russert, Pillar of the dumming down of America, who uses Republican Talking Points and out of context quotes to challange Democrats.

They have far too much power and consistant contribute to the destruction of our nation, and are at the top of the Cascade or erroneousness that feed the other reporters and talking heads.

Using Goebbles repetition of lies, NBC/GE does the bidding of The Republican Party.
and act as a VIRULENT opposition Party consistantly attacking the Democratic frontrunner with erroneous assertions while softspeaking Republocan candidates.

Today to Hucky's dress: "He's just trying to appeal to the rural voter" WHILE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN RIDICULED Kerry in simillar dress.

Mathews and Russert have been brainwashig the Democratic base since the MSNBC Democratic debate. For a whole week Mathews egged Obama
to attack Hillary which he agreed to comply with BASED ON LIES. Russert TOLD A LIE that Clinton ordered her papers not be released UNTIL 2012. HOWEVER, the 120Million paper process will take decades, and reather Clinton MADE THEM PROMISE TO RELEASE THEM NO LATER THAN 2012.

3)Obama is running on lies that Clinton is the same as Bush, when nothing could be further than the truth. NOTHING. Don't get me started on Opra.

3) John Edwards: I'm not sure if I'll move to Greece or Southern India if he wins. He has 10 ads a night on GE, running against the Demcorats.

Meanwhile Edwards lauched his campaign from money collected from 100 employees of the first hedge fund to go public, where he lobbied against making Hedge funds be transparant, and was invested (14M) in this fund that had money in Sub-Prime (35 people were being foreclosed on), was paid 475K for his lobbying work

[rabun666]

Remember, Hucksterbee is an addict, addicted to food. WE do not need another addict in the White House. The same dynamics that create an alcoholic or drug addict, these dynamics apply to food addict as well. It's the addiction mindset that is at the root of the food addiction, not the food which is just a symptom.

[Qbear]

more gay TIGERS fewer Huckabees

[CatfishJohn]

...i myself am wating for the delicious impending TV psychodrama of when someone aching to be the next lee atwater , to paraphrase Cheney immediately Post 9-11 regarding amping up for Iraq, "goes massive" on Huckabees apparently sociopathic son who strangled a good sized dog at a boy scout camp during adolescence, allegedly " for the dogs own good".....now that will be a real and defining memorable moment in this abomination that is the corporate media's people maganization of this campaign...