Why Don't They Just Issue Swami Turbans at MSNBC?

Or shrink couches, or X-ray glasses?

It's my fault, I know, for watching the convention on a commercial cable channel, rather than on C-SPAN. But it strikes me that today's level of journalistic derangement exceeds anything I've experienced before.

These MSNBC analysts, you see, and these "strategists" whom no one in politics has ever heard of before except as talking heads on TV, and these veteran broadcasters who should know better: You see, they can read Hillary's mind And if they themselves can't personally read her mind, then what they want everyone they interview to do is to go ahead, take a shot, read Hillary's mind, and tell us what card she picked -- I mean, what she's really thinking.

It doesn't matter what she says tonight, or during the rest of the campaign. It doesn't matter what she does tonight, or from now until November. What matters is what's hidden in her head.

Pat Buchanan, you see, really and truly knows what's in Hillary's head, and it's this: Screw you, Barack, I hope you lose so I can win in 2012.

And what Buchanan -- whose continuing MSNBC meal ticket is perhaps the most craven extant example of corporate politainment's sick sick crush on mudwrestlers -- what Pat Buchanan is saying about the real true secret contents of Hillary's (and Bill's) mind has been echoed today by one chinstroker and windbag after another.

(Yes, I love Rachel, and Keith without Chris is a wonder, and some fine reporters are on the NBC payroll. But the Buchanan MO is hardly an outlier.)

So this is what political journalism has come to, two centuries after the First Amendment was written, and nearly three centuries after John Peter Zenger's trial: Pronouncements that cannot possibly be verified or disproved.

Mindreading.

Evidence-free, unaccountable, redfaced, shouted, demagogic cocksure mindreading.

It's really a shame Johnny Carson has gone to his eternal reward. GE could've gotten some serious synergy out of booking Karnak the Magnificent onto its news circus.

For more Huffington Post coverage of the Democratic National Convention, visit our Politics @ the DNC page, our Democratic Convention Big News Page, and our HuffPost bloggers' Twitter feed, live from Denver.

Follow Marty Kaplan on Twitter: www.twitter.com/martykaplan

Comments

[smag]

Members of MSNBC like Daliy KOS and soon the HP will soon have to get VISAs to visit freely in the US.They are like UFOs most of us belive they are out there, you just hope you don't run into one. Normal folks simply scratch their heads and loook for the space ship they landed in.

[PurplePhase]

At this rate, MSNBC "journalists" and opinionaters should be using super soaker squirt guns on each other by next week.

[Lemmy]

Buchanan and Joe are the only reasons to watch that channel. The rest (Matthews, Olby, etc.) wet themselves like children when waxing about the Democratic party. Matthews is just over the top like a screaming little girl at a Jonas Bros show.

Buchanan is paid to give his analysis based on his experience and offer OPPOSIG VIEWS. HE's not there to be a sock puppet like most others on that network. He doesn't claim to read minds - that remark is just plain stupid. Matthews and Olbermann are paid to bash the right and fawn over the left. It is what it is and it's the direction the network has chosen. Ratings and time will tell.

If anyone believes Bill and Hillary will be pulling the Obama lever, you don't know the Clintons.

[southsideirish]

Sigh. Okay I'll try this again. Sorry if it appears twice.--

It's true. Actually, while I get where Keith is coming from, and love Rachel, and even like Chris and David (Shuster), and at one time Joe, they're all at a point where they're making Tucker look sane. Jon Stewart's right, nobody's taking this seriously. I mean how many on-air walk offs has Scarborough caused or been involved in now? I can count three. Matthews just bites people's heads off anymore if they disagree with him or somehow offend him. Gregory just shoots off dissent to do it. The "pundits" and "strategists" are making ad hominem, extremist claims which happen so frequently they can't all get caught for the propaganda they are (even when it is caught, it's rebutted with the same level of histrionics.) Olbermann's been getting more and more loose with trying to smack down GOP spin to the point where he is quickly learning Nietzsche's lesson on monsters. Hell, even Shuster, the REPORTER GUY, is telling every right-winger or Clintonian where to cram it since the Chelsea debacle. It's a circus. YET, IF IT DIES, WE'RE LEFT WITH FOX AND CNN. And though CNN's supposedly unbiased, they're usually bottom-feeding and spewing as much as MSNBC, but with less to say and less conviction to say it with. As for FOX, well... I have anything new to mention there. It's atrocious. We all know it. It must stopped. We know that too.

[southsideirish]

Pfft. Knew that would happen. Well the Republicans suck and then you die.

[southsideirish]

It's true. Actually, while I get where Keith is coming from, and love Rachel, and even like Chris and David (Shuster), and at one time Joe, they're all at a point where they're making Tucker look sane. Jon Stewart's right, nobody's taking this seriously. I mean how many on-air walk offs has Scarborough caused or been involved in now? I can count three. Matthews just bites people's heads off anymore if they disagree with him or somehow offend him. Gregory just shoots off dissent to do it. The "pundits" and "strategists" are making ad hominem, extremist claims which happen so frequently they can't all get caught for the propaganda they are (even when it is caught, it's rebutted with the same level of histrionics.) Olbermann's been getting more and more loose with trying to smack down GOP spin to the point where he is quickly learning Nietzsche's lesson on monsters. Hell, even Shuster, the REPORTER GUY, is telling every right-winger or Clintonian where to cram it since the Chelsea debacle. It's become a circus. YET, IF IT DIES, WE'RE LEFT WITH FOX AND CNN. And despite CNN's supposedly unbiased view, half the time they're just bottom-feeding and spewing as much as MSNBC, but with less to say and less conviction to say it with. As for FOX, well... I don't think I have anything new to mention there. It's atrocious. We all know it. It must stopped. We know that too.

[legalgirl]

Perhaps Mr. Murdoch will learn that Americans aren't as stupid as he thinks we are and that taking "infotainment" down to the level of "American Idol" only works for so long, because eventually, the audience realizes they can turn it off and miss absolutely nothing.

[jaxbarrow]

An observation - imagine a gaggle of friends .... thirtysomethings through aging baby boomers chatting up the convention coverage. By and large the overwhelming take on the issue of MSM and this political season was that most of us were capable of coming up with our own opinions and didn't require a possee of bloviating talking heads ticking off sound bites and headline grabbers to "inform" us about anything thank you very much.
We live in a culture now where so many think they have THE opinion and every right to share it with the world. Just check out the blogospehere where folks actually indicate their DAILY mood! Good heavens! The press or whatever they call themselves these days are part and parcel of this phenom.
PBS and CSPAN provide the thinking man's coverage - no BS. The circus being presented on all those other channels, cable and mainstream, are infotainment at best.

[ImmanuelKant]

MSNBC for unknown reasons has their "talking heads" outside the convention hall. They say it's to be with the people...huh? Matthews comb over is "blowin in the wind" much the same as his mouth. Oberman is so obvious he would rather share the podium with Rachel Maddow and this is made all to clear when he digs at Matthews. Scarburo (spelling notwithstanding) has his own issues. If you challenge him, he goes off. Rachel M. on Monday night, sitting next to Buchanan appeared to be crying. Whoever is in charge, needs to take charge and remind them they are professional pundits. It has been clear for some time they are not straight up reporters. But they need some team training.
I feel sorry for Brokow, Williams, and the remaining NBC correspondence. It feels like they all fell apart after the death of Tim Russert.
CNN is no better, though their issues are different. Their tendency is to fire anyone over 50 (except Wolf) and waste air time in self-promotion. Why would any network in their right mind let go of Judy Woodruff. There are many others that were on air that were squeezed out, so many in fact I stopped watching. But watch because while MSNBC pundits are going at one another, CNN spends a great deal of time talking about their coverage when then could (should) be addressing the event.

[haleywins]

MSNBC did the same thing for the debates, outside, the communities loved it.

Buchanan needs a bus ticket somewhere.

[wendynyc]

Corporate Media contributions to GW Bush campaign in Year 2000:

CNN - $1.6 million
MS-NBC - $1.1 million + Microsoft contributed $2.3 million
FOX and Murdoch - $2.9 million
CBS - owned by someone connected to Carlyle Group
ABC - $640K

Gore lost in 2000, so did Kerry in 2004 - all the lies and the spin by these idiot talking heads -

Let's expose them for the Republican bought hacks that they are

[PurplePhase]

That's what I call a serious conflict of interest in the MSM.

[cassidynj]

At least you know where Buchanan stands, agree with him or not. He had an inciteful diatribe against the Bush-McCain Georgia fiasco the other week. He detests neoconservatives and what they have done to bring this country closer to ruin.

Matthews, with his sensations running up his leg, and bragging about it on air, gets totally out of control. He constantly cuts off guests, rambles, obfuscates, and spends time answering the questions he asks guests so that they are barely heard.

Matthews constantly turns McCain issues into "What does Obama need to do," which is a way of continuing to grant McCain free pass after free pass.

[BubbaC33]

MSNBC did a wonderful job acting as the press agency for Obama. Obama should have appeared at the end of each Countdown with KO and said "I am Barack Obama and I approve of this message." Neither Olbermann nor Maddow were anywhere close to objectivity during the primary. My hope is they are as efficient in attacking McCain as they were in telling tales about Ms. Clinton.

[idahospud44]

I view this differently. MSNBC coverage of this convention has been a complete hack job on Obama. This network talked over some great speeches and then had a segment on why aren't' they being tough enough? This network and CNN, to a lesser extend, have ignored some wonderful moments that I saw on C-Span,

[nunzia]

So true!
A truth I learned years ago, so I never watch those goofy channels.
I watch cspan.
Unlike most Americans, I don't need a bunch of overpaid, unthinking, superficial, silly talking heads to tell me what I just heard, or will hear.
I can listen, all by myself.
Why the HELL are the rest of you watching that crap? Ya' think you're learning something?
Are you lonely? What the hell is the reason.

[tuttlemsm]

Pat Buchanan also cannot comment without at least one analogy to an electoral contest at least 28 years old or more.

[juancp82]

The American corporate media no longer exists to inform or serve the public (assuming that it once did). It manufactures drama where none exists. Its pundits know as much as my garbage collector. The difference is that his job makes a difference in our lives.

[buckbuck11]

If you can imagine, CNN was even MORE heinous in their non-reporting of the convention. Endless repetition of their pre-packaged convention "narrative" with occasional cuts to persons and events at the convention which happened to reinforce that narrative. It's like they wrote a script back in July in New York and are cutting in clips of B-roll to try to make it current. Absolutely awful.

As Karnak the Magnificent would say, "May the fleas of 1000 camels descend upon Wolf Blitzer."

[JonathanDS2U]

Absolutely: Following Hillary's speech, Campbell Brown excitedly exclaimed how Hillary had completely failed to indicate whether she thought Obama was ready to be President. An entire speech asking all listeners to vote for Obama, and Campbell Brown is excited because of some imagined ambiguity. Yet Brown did succeed in making me wonder whether viewers might be even more inept than I previously thought, in that no one is calling her out on this.