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Marty Zwilling

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You Never Learn Anything While You Are Talking

Posted: 06/24/11 02:22 PM ET

When you are not presenting to investors or your team, try to spend more time listening than talking. You can't learn anything new while you're talking, yet many entrepreneurs seem to never stop. It's a sad spiral, since the more you talk, the less people really hear, meaning they don't learn anything either. If someone left this article on your desk, read extra carefully.

Building a business is all about building relationships, and one of the most important elements of a relationship is effective communication. Communication doesn't happen unless both parties practice the art of effective listening. Check to see if you are practicing the key disciplines of listening, as outlined by Brian Tracy in No Excuses: the Power of Self-Discipline:

  • Listen attentively. Listen as though the other person is about to reveal a great secret or the winning lottery number and you will hear it only once. Since you always pay attention to what you most value, when you pay close attention to another person, you tell that person that they are of great value to you. You will be remembered.
  • Pause before replying. When you pause, you avoid the risk of interrupting the other person if they are reformulating their thoughts. It also enables you to hear not only what was said, but what was not said. Then you can respond with greater awareness and sensitivity.
  • Ask for clarification. Never assume that you automatically know what the other person is thinking or feeling. It is when you ask questions and seek clarity that you demonstrate that you really care about what he or she is saying, and that you are genuinely interested in understanding how he or she thinks and feels.
  • Feed it back. The acid test of listening is to see if you can paraphrase what you heard in your own words. It is only when you can repeat back what the other person has just said, in your own words, that you prove you are really listening, and understood the message. For all feedback, be sure to mirror the other person's pace and communication style.

Even good communicators average only about half their time listening. Yet experts assert that most people listen with only about 25 percent of their attention, hear about 25 percent of what is said, and after two months, remember only half of that. That's not effective communication.

There are also things you can do to encourage others to listen to you, when you do speak, to improve the overall communication:

  • Lower voice, no emotion. This causes the other party to listen more carefully, and facilitates a more pleasant and more effective conversation.
  • Adapt to listener interests. Use analogies and terminology that are easy for the other person to relate to, and they will respond with attention and higher comprehension.
  • Choose the right environment. Wait for the right opportunity, when you can be easily heard and understood, and the listener is in the right mood.
  • Address people by name. This gets their attention and focus. Sometimes it helps to bring others into the conversation to support your input.

In business, you need to always be listening - to customers, to advisors, to investors, and to your team members. When you do talk, concentrate on making it effective. You don't have the time to have things repeated to you four times before you really hear and understand them.

Responsible, effective listening is a rare skill that will give you a sustainable competitive advantage over your peers and your competitors. It's also a skill that can be developed with practice. You can never know enough in business, so even top entrepreneurs find time to listen. Are you learning anything these days?

 

Follow Marty Zwilling on Twitter: www.twitter.com/StartupPro

When you are not presenting to investors or your team, try to spend more time listening than talking. You can't learn anything new while you're talking, yet many entrepreneurs seem to never stop. It's...
When you are not presenting to investors or your team, try to spend more time listening than talking. You can't learn anything new while you're talking, yet many entrepreneurs seem to never stop. It's...
 
 
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01:44 PM on 07/04/2011
I often say to my clients that we all have ears, but so few of us know how to truly listen to each other. In my work as a coach, I see that people are starved of a good audience to listen to their stories, both successes and challenges­. A good listener is worth their weight in gold IMHO!
04:14 PM on 07/02/2011
to be precise, it was event leadership institute.
03:51 PM on 07/02/2011
This article is great. I've been working in the event planning business for years and done pretty well for myself. A friend of mine, also in the business, recommended some video teaching course online to me, event planning institute, i think, and ignored it forever because i thought i knew everything i needed to know. Finally watched this video on "green" events and i actually learned a lot. Bruised my ego, but I definitely gained from listening to someone else.
09:56 AM on 07/01/2011
Advice for business leaders? Keep your mouth shut and your ears open! Go on a "listening tour" and find out what is happening in your organization. Ask everyone questions: the vice presidents, managers, directors, but don't stop there. Go visit your salespeople, the clerks, ask questions of diverse employee groups. The differing perspectives can be eye opening. You gain insight, and your image/brand is enhanced. It's a winning combination. Loraine Antrim, Core Ideas Communication
07:40 PM on 06/27/2011
I truly agree that we all need to do more listening than talking. I have a noticed, as you point out, many people do not give the opportunity to effectively listen. You have shared some powerful points on how to make the most impact in order to be the most effective. Important to note that taking the time to listen shows you care about what the other person is saying. I make it a point to listen to those I work with and in doing so I am able to absorb so much more information. In doing so, I have been able to be more effective and help more by knowing what is needed.

One of your statements is one that I believe is the foundation to success, "Building a business is all about building relationships, and one of the most important elements of a relationship is effective communication."

I truly enjoyed your article and thank you for sharing.

AJ
03:14 PM on 06/27/2011
so in one word LISTEN
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
frank day
Republican = FAIL
04:57 PM on 06/26/2011
If we were all grounded in reality, we would all just stay home in bed.
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LSULinebacker64
TRUTH, FAITH, TRUST
02:10 PM on 07/01/2011
I am home period... Not in bed but just pushing a mower. I need a few companies to listen to myself. Not for my disablity but for a few ideas that do make since an I do think can get somewhere. Everyone has a dream to do something big an out of this world. My biggest dream right now is getting off SSI, Social Security, plus other Fed. funded systems. Again those of you who like to kick other people off for being on that an just getting what we do. I want to get off these things. But to do it I need the support an help from a couple of Businesses that would step up on giving that chance. (Before them giving one dollar). Looking at what I have in mind. Who could I ever get to step up to do anything an listen to what it may be?
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MSROADKILL612
german sausages are wurst
05:46 AM on 06/26/2011
The tagline is a good point - an old proverb of mine - "empty vessels make the most noise" is similar"

Major issue - ignorance breeds certitude. Is no argument or cure for it. except restartin at 3rd grade. Their arguments dont have to pass any of the normal tests. - rationality, consequences, logic, fairness, economics.... Main thing is its their turn to speak.
10:33 AM on 06/25/2011
My grandpa always told me if God had wanted us to talk more than listen, he would have given us two mouths instead of two ears!
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frank day
Republican = FAIL
04:58 PM on 06/26/2011
grandpa was right :D
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robert horwitz
07:37 AM on 06/25/2011
I learned something very important while talking. Food keeps falling out of my mouth. If I was an Astronaut it would probably float out of my mouth. Marty just kidding around. When I was in business I used to do everything you suggested as a natural matter of course. No one ever explained these things to me. It's just without giving them any thought they all seemed to be the way to conduct myself and it was.
04:57 PM on 06/24/2011
Wonderful and true article!
04:04 PM on 06/24/2011
Awesome advice. Thanks!